Feeling a little blue today. I won’t cave, I have come too far, but goodness me do I want to today! This past two weeks have been an emotional rollercoaster and something I have never been through before, however, all of the feelings I was having felt so familiar and I couldn’t work out why. Then I realised that I have been through something very similar before. I realised that giving up cigarettes felt the same as giving up an awful ex-boyfriend that was no good for me!
You spend months (or years) knowing it has to stop but you don’t feel ready, then one day you decide you have had enough. Then it is the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about at night. You want it all of the time but you know it is no good for you. You tell yourself that surely you can just have it once and then walk away? But then you know if you do you feel like a failure and back to square one. You are emotional, low and flat and then sometimes feel an elated sense of freedom. After a few weeks it gets easier, you don’t think about it as much and you know that your life is much better without it. I have every faith that cigarettes will end up a distance memory just like the awful ex!! 
I agree with you there, smoking and toxic relationships are almost identical in their "hold" on you - once you make the break and free your mind then life is so much better. I too have thrown off the shackles of the bully partner and the fags - it took me 12 years longer to get off the smokes but I would NOT entertain either of them in my life again