So flaming angry!!

After all my trumpet blowing I Stupidly had a fag :mad: hate myself now

Hubby just had to be carried into the house absolutely blocked, I was so angry so once I got him into bed I took one of his fags :mad:

Ashamed and annoyed at myself is a understatement!

Did it help the situation,no - hubby's still an ass!

Did it make things worse - hell yes, not only am I furious at Him and I'm now mad at myself!

Am I going to give in and let it beat me - no f**king way! I was feeling happy and so proud. I want to be a non smoker so patch will be on first thing in the morning and I will continue with my quit!

Sorry to everyone that has been supporting me, I should have came here first.

I just wanted to make note of this major slip so I can re-read it.

I'm not going to call myself a failure this time as I believe it's been a lesson learnt and one I will not be learning again. I will not let this turn into a full blown relapse!

What an idiot!! Do I have to go back to day 1 now ?? :(

12 Replies

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  • Also now my mouth tastes disgusting and my chest hurts :mad:

    Well done mrsmash you truly are a ****** idiot!!

  • it was a good call posting, just a wee slip, you will indeed be able to re-read your post and take your own advice should you feel tempted again. One week in is so early for some when stress and anger arises and a small slip is not a failure ( so long as it is only once and you sound so determined that it will be).

    Get back up and plough forward.

    You will beat this addiction and never have a yucky mouth again ;):D

  • After all my trumpet blowing I Stupidly had a fag :mad: hate myself now

    Hubby just had to be carried into the house absolutely blocked, I was so angry so once I got him into bed I took one of his fags :mad:

    Ashamed and annoyed at myself is a understatement!

    Did it help the situation,no - hubby's still an ass!

    Did it make things worse - hell yes, not only am I furious at Him and I'm now mad at myself!

    Am I going to give in and let it beat me - no f**king way! I was feeling happy and so proud. I want to be a non smoker so patch will be on first thing in the morning and I will continue with my quit!

    Sorry to everyone that has been supporting me, I should have came here first.

    I just wanted to make note of this major slip so I can re-read it.

    I'm not going to call myself a failure this time as I believe it's been a lesson learnt and one I will not be learning again. I will not let this turn into a full blown relapse!

    What an idiot!! Do I have to go back to day 1 now ?? :(

    Hey Mrs Mash :) You're back and that's what counts.

    Now let's give Nasty Nic everything we've got and tell him to do one once and for all!

    How dare he worm his way in after you've had such a great smoke free weekend?! :mad: I say, if you're going to be mad then aim it at him!!

    Should you go back to day one? Personally, I would, because my smoke free days have been so important to me in this quit. I would feel as though I were cheating.

    However, it can only be your decision.

    Welcome back. Now let's get back to the fight! :D

  • Lesson learnt

    As you said you have learnt your lesson. I don't know how I would do if I had easily accessible cigarettes in the house, you really do need double the will power! So well done for your full week and count it as just an slip in your quitting journey and get the patch back on, you can do it! (I hope your hubby has a bad hangover;)

  • Got to be day one for me Mrs M but that doesn't make you a failure.....if your quit goes to plan from here on in then in six months time a few days won't make any difference :)

    Let's be clear - this isn't a "slip", it's a cigarette smoked, and when you're fighting addiction honesty is the best weapon you have because otherwise one becomes one only when you go out, only at weekends, and you know how fags are; you're back on twenty a day before you know it. I know this because I'm quitting the same as you..

    But you know all this Mrs M, because you asked the question. You're brilliant on this forum, so bubbly and positive, get back on it (as you are) and soon you'll look back on this spell and laugh ;)

  • Excuses are like a**holes, everyone has one and they all stink.

    I can talk the talk, now it's time to walk the walk!!

    You have said it yourself MrsMash, now you have to believe it and live/quit by it.

    As for your question about whether to go back to day 1 or not? Re read the site you have linked in your signature, I think you'll know the answer if you do.

    You CAN do this, but the excuses have to stop. That is addict thinking...and you don't want to be an addict anymore, do you? :)

  • Thanks everyone!

    Yeah as you all have rightly said it is back to day 1, a fag smoked is a fag smoked!

    Ahh Max I dunno what to do with myself!!

  • And get that bit off the bottom off your signature; stop beating yourself up over it grrrrr :p

    Your attitude's spot on, you're learning, don't get down on yourself so much ;)

  • Disappointed but not Defeated

    It's a good thing you are bitterly disappointed it just proves how much you really want to be a non-smoker! I know of no one who has decided to stop smoking and that was that, no doubt they are out there but not many. We all struggle at the start, and unfortunately most fail but we try again and again and for as long as necessary, but you will succeed Mrs Marsh!!! So dust yourself down, and breath deeply get that smoke free air into your lungs, and be proud once again you are a non-smoker.

  • awww Mrs I am upset for you reading that! I know exactly how you feel and the most important thing is that it didn't change anything and it was not worth it! Just carry on Mrs if thats how you feel I dont personally mind where you post! day 1 or 10, who cares :D xx

  • Again thanks everyone. I dont deserve your support, think i'm ripping the ar*e out of it now!

    I tend to be hard on myself to make sure I learn as i'm afraid if i'm to easy on myself I wont try again.

  • Hi there, I'm new here and don't mean to intrude but - I think you are really brave for fessing up and not just hiding the fact it happened. I'm sure u will be successful again like you already are:)

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