So angry with myself

[nsd_user663_62098]

Well I'm back at day 1 again tomorrow, keep going 10 ten days then I break. I've had a friend to stay for a couple of days and as she smoked I gave in she's now gone home and this time I must do it. It would have been easier not to post and admit to everyone but I need the support

[Incy_Wincy]

Oh Claire, don't beat yourself up - you know you've done the right thing facing up to it, and jumping back on the wagon straight away tomorrow. If I were you I'd write down exactly how smoking again has made you feel - capture all the anger/disappointment/disbelief/whatever, and make sure you can look at that whenever you feel a wobble coming on - you don't want to feel like that ever again, I bet.

We're all here, right behind you, waving flags and cheering you on to make this the last day one you ever have to face! Good luck xx

[Canwes 1000 Days Smoke Free]

Claire, saddle up, get right back on that horse and try to stay on again, 8 seconds or 10 days all the same type of thing, you go until you break the beast. With all this practice you'll have it down soon enough.

[nsd_user663_60880]

Get back on that horse claire. Many of us fail in a quit. What matters is that we try again.

[nsd_user663_62098]

I'm back on the horse tomorrow

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

You are so committed....... Go for it this time and ride it to the end......!!

[nsd_user663_62098]

I will and if I'm tempted I will come on the forum

[Canwes 1000 Days Smoke Free]

Enough practicing Claire, put nicotine in it's place, which isn't inside your body. Come here often, remember deep breaths in exhaling slowly, mantras help some people, keep your mind and body busy with little things you enjoy and that can distract you through the craves until they subside. Your gonna quit one day, might as well be on your terms.

[nsd_user663_62098]

I'm sorry to say I didn't even try today, I've got myself all psyched up for tomorrow, thankyou for all your support xx

[nsd_user663_60880]

The important thing is that you have a date set We are all here for you.

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

Go for it Claire....... Canwes said it " on your own terms"

[AnnMarie74]

How you doing today claire

[nsd_user663_64229]

Hi Claire, I'm new here. I only joined as today I had one cig after 17 days. I was so tempted to have another "just before I threw away the tobacco". It's all addiction talking. I threw it away and took a shower. I haven't had another and am pleased to say my lungs hurt. I hope you've found the courage to follow through

[Incy_Wincy in reply to nsd_user663_64229]

Wow polianna, that took some strength! Well done for getting straight back to your quit, and for finding us! You'll find plenty of support here, we're all in similar boats x

[Incy_Wincy]

Claire, how's it going? x

[nsd_user663_62098]

I didn't try again, I had one about 10 mins ago and have none left, I really don't want to be a smoker x

[Incy_Wincy]

Oh dear I got stuck in that loop for the longest time.

Me: I don't want to be a smoker. I'll stop. There. I'm doing it. Last one gone. No going back. I'm quitting!

(Some time later - could be a few days, could be a few hours, could be 10 minutes.)

Me: But it's hard, so I'll make it easier by having one. Just one. Then the rest. Then I'll stop again....But it's hard, so...etc etc.

Eventually I gave myself a really good kick in the rear and stopped being such a pushover - I realised the only reason I couldn't stop was because I was letting myself off, letting myself smoke, even though I knew I really wanted to be free. It took a really long time for me to do learn to be tougher on myself, but it had to be done. I hope you can work out what's stopping you soon! Don't buy any more! xx

[nsd_user663_64024]

Hi Clair

This could be the most important day of your life and the decision not to have another one has just been made because you have smoked your last one in the packet, now this is going to be tough not to drive to the shop and buy a packet, but this is where you can do what Incy did and kick yourself up the butt and don't go to the shop, you can do this don't take that first step to buy any because you will find that you will need to smoke them all before you can attempt again, be strong we are right behind you and remember we are ALL doing the same thing. Talk to us and read lots it really does help to get past that crave.

[Canwes 1000 Days Smoke Free]

Claire, you know your gonna quit eventually. Make it your choice! Quit on your terms. Do what you know is the right thing, not for others but for yourself. You are the most important person to you, if your not well you can't expect to help others you may care about should the need arise, aging parents, children, grandchildren, close friends they all want you healthy but doing this for you is what's most important. Until you accept that this is your fight, yours alone, and that you'll probably never get the accolades you may feel you deserve from others the prize is simply being, an intelligent, educated, healthy beautiful individual. Your here because we can all relate to how difficult this journey is and share your pain but your also here because you can see it is possible by the posts of long time quitters who know better than to ever let themselves be pulled down again by this awful addiction. By the way, the best time to quit isn't the morning, the afternoon, or the evening....it's right now. Your terms, your choice, your quit.

[nsd_user663_64024]

Well said Canwes

[nsd_user663_62098]

You are all so right, and incy I have been saying the same things and making excuses, well it's my 3rd time back at day 1, I haven't been to the shop this morning and gone 12 hours now without a cig, I have my lozenges and inhalator to hand, yes the inner voice is now screaming at me one won't hurt but I'm sucking on a lozenge instead x