Can't you understand, it's over!!

Dear Marlboro Man,

I know you still love me and you want me back but you must understand it's over between us. Yes, we had a long relationship and I've hooked up with a lot of your friends over the years but that's all over now.

It really is no good trying to remind me of the good times we had, trying to get me to meet you one last time, or saying we can just be friends 'cos I won't and we can't - same goes for all your friends, even if they do sound like royalty, I'm not interested.

We have had trial seperations in the past and you've always managed to win me back so I can see why you think you're in with a chance this time - but no, my mind's made up!!

It was embarrassing 'cos when I'd been with you people could smell you all over me, even when you told me they couldn't. When you called me I always had to go and meet you, even if I could only snatch 2 or 3 minutes with you and towards the end of our relationship I couldn't bear to be away from you for much more than an hour, less if i could manage it. Don't want that, I'm liking my freedom far too much!!

And to be totally honest, I hate the person you turned me into. Terrified to be away from you, willing to spend any amount of money to keep you by my side, i had to take you everywhere with me and upset people I care about when they saw us together or when I went to meet you - and you made me think they were being stupid, even told me it was funny. You made me unfit and you told me lies, what kind of a relationship is that?

Yes it was hard to leave you, at times I didn't think I could manage but I'm strong without you and none of the things you said would happen if I left you have happened.

So clear off and leave me alone. My mind's made up and it's over.

And leave my friends, on here and in RL alone, you stinky little git.

10 Replies

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  • Wrote that 'cos I was fancying a fag (*not* craving one) and it killed the feeling. YAY free therapy :p

  • I like that:D how nice to dread another positive post today!

    (ps, what is RL??)

  • I like that:D how nice to dread another positive post today!

    (ps, what is RL??)

    Yay :cool:

    RL is real life - as in not online :)

  • Yay :cool:

    RL is real life - as in not online :)

    Doh!!!! thanks!;)

    does make you feel good to get it all out doesnt it and in RL there arent always people around that will listen and understand.

  • It really did help!!

    Wasn't craving like I used to, not by a huge way but the Marlboro Man was whispering smoky nothings into my ear about how it would be so lovely to have a fag in the sunshine.

    Writing all that though zapped any nostalgia i had for being the old smoker Gemma and I'm happy being the richer nice smelling one instead :D

    I share an office with my quit buddy, but I don't want to nag on to her about it, lol.

  • cigs are calling but i'm not listening anymore

    hi

    its 100 days today since i gave up smoking and i wanted to share this info with someone who 'knows' how hard that is. I read earlier, there is a wobble period at three months and that kinda reassured me, that everything is still on track. Really proud of you, you are a bit further along the clean, healthier and wealthier route. Bring it on , I'm ready for my next 100 days

    :D

  • hi

    its 100 days today since i gave up smoking and i wanted to share this info with someone who 'knows' how hard that is. I read earlier, there is a wobble period at three months and that kinda reassured me, that everything is still on track. Really proud of you, you are a bit further along the clean, healthier and wealthier route. Bring it on , I'm ready for my next 100 days

    :D

    Well done!!

    100 days is brilliant, and please post on here whenever you want support, encouragement or even to let off a bit of steam :) You've definitely done the hard bit but be on your guard from the Nicotine Monster!!

  • Funny to think about 'RL' real life. In some ways speaking to people on here is far more 'real life' than out there in the street or in the Office or even at home.People are either interested in what you say to them or not.Here I tend to be interested in just about everything that is posted by 'real' people My poor Mrs always accuses me of not listening to her and that is partly true:rolleyes:.

    Knowing that there is a real person with worries,ambitions,hopes and fears sat at every keyboard,that to me IS real life-ok some of us show only what we want people to see or think people might like,but it is as real to speak on here as it is to speak to someone at my work in 'real life' who frankly doesn't care whether I fancy a fag or not.

    So this place/RL....not so different imho :cool:

    That is so very true Max, I know my husband doesnt listen as he will be looking in some other direction and I can(and Have) started talking about purple bananas for example and he still goes 'I was listening ' when challenged. Here, people read your words, they digest them, they reply, if they werent interested, they/we wouldnt be on here. There is the general forum section which is great for an off topic where we can get to know each other better so long as the topic doesnt get shut down;)

    People do care if you fancy a fag and will definately care and be quite vocal if you think of actually having one

    *frying pans and batons at the ready;)*

    one difference between here and real life is that there are no covers to be judged by ...

  • Funny to think about 'RL' real life. In some ways speaking to people on here is far more 'real life' than out there in the street or in the Office or even at home.People are either interested in what you say to them or not.Here I tend to be interested in just about everything that is posted by 'real' people :) My poor Mrs always accuses me of not listening to her and that is partly true:rolleyes:.

    Knowing that there is a real person with worries,ambitions,hopes and fears sat at every keyboard,that to me IS real life-ok some of us show only what we want people to see or think people might like,but it is as real to speak on here as it is to speak to someone at my work in 'real life' who frankly doesn't care whether I fancy a fag or not.

    So this place/RL....not so different imho :cool:

    Oh I know what you mean Max, I just couldn't think of another phrase to use and didnt' have time to prod my brain any harder :p

    Think the difference here is that while pretty much everyone I know off these boards expected me to fail, even my dad only thought my quit would last a week *eek* and wouldn't have been surprised if i had, everyone on here expected me to succeed and gave me a lot more support.

    Thing is, you can't go on about it to people you talk to.

    * Smokers don't want to know - can remember that feeling when someone quit and thinking that I *should* stop smoking even though back then I didn't *want* to - and it flipping terrified me to think of never smoking again.

    Actually, one of my best friends stopped on No Smoking Day last year, and smoker-me couldn't understand how she could sit with me having a fag, go on a night out etc and not miss it, she's the only ex-smoker I've asked. I guess she inspired me to make the jump.

    * Non smokers don't understand, they probably think it's as easy as not buying any more. Know my parents weren't prepared for me to turn into a sleepy, teary, grumpy mess.

    So this place is fab, we're all on the same road, and have felt or are feeling the same things - and we all want to help each other to succeed.

  • That is so very true Max, I know my husband doesnt listen as he will be looking in some other direction and I can(and Have) started talking about purple bananas for example and he still goes 'I was listening ' when challenged. Here, people read your words, they digest them, they reply, if they werent interested, they/we wouldnt be on here. There is the general forum section which is great for an off topic where we can get to know each other better so long as the topic doesnt get shut down;)

    People do care if you fancy a fag and will definately care and be quite vocal if you think of actually having one

    *frying pans and batons at the ready;)*

    one difference between here and real life is that there are no covers to be judged by ...

    LOL at your husband, Trea - typical man!!

    Was helping someone else on here a while ago, and was able to point her to the stuff I was writing early on in my quit and then what I'm writing now - it showed how much easier it gets - which is the other thing.

    Even though I haven't been quit that long (not compared to how long I smoked for anyway) am forgetting how it felt but here there's a real record of what happend and so on *hears her History teachers talking about primary and secondary sources*

    So my self pitying rants might actually help someone, lol.

    Ooh and I can't remember what smoking a cigarette feels like, and it feels weird to think I was ever a smoker.

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