Help - i can't get passed day 1

:(

This is getting depressing, and i know no-one to blame but myself. Made it to 8.30pm tonight, but that's not even 24h!

This is now 3 failed attempts in as many weeks. Managed 4 days first time, but since then, not managed a whole day.

Planning to try again tomorrow and hoping the fact i'm so annoyed with myself today will motivate me.

I know it's hard but i should be able to get through it, everyone else is....v.depressed. Scoured old posts but everyone else seems to get through their tough times - why cant i?:confused: Secretly hoping (and i realise this is very wrong of me) that others who fail are just not posting anymore and have gone back to smoking, but i dont want to stop trying to not smoke or i'll never get there will i?

Sorry for long rant - getting bored of hearing myself say the same thing over and over so i'm sure you guys must be too. Think i will try again tomorrow anyway and really do my best - hopefully post again in a few days with GOOD news.

15 Replies

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  • Hey Lulabelle, this is not easy, but you CAN do it. Keep trying, if you really want to quit you WILL do it. If you can do 4 days you can do 5 days, and if you can do 5 days you can do 6 days. Most all of us on this journey just go one day at a time (sometimes one hour at a time) :) It is a journey, full of highs and lows. I've just made 3 weeks and sometimes I've thought it was a breeze (stress free days) and others I've thought I could go out and strangle someone! Still on it though and no-one more surprised than me!

  • Lu, you have got to absolutely want this. Give yourself a couple of days and do some lead-up-to-quit reading. Get yourself mentally prepared.

    My biggest problem in the past was always this wave of fear that would hit me the moment I put out my 'last' fag, and then grow and grow until I caved (sometimes, like you, within 24 hours). The moment I stopped I would become obsessed about wanting to smoke, convinced I just wasn't capable of giving up forever. It just seemed like an impossible mountain to climb. Withdrawals weren't the problem, it was the fact that I identified myself as being a smoker, and I didn't know how to think of myself any other way.

    You need to decide in your heart that you don't want to be this person any more. And you need to keep reminding yourself of that as you go on with your quit. Soon you'll be like other people on here who are calling themselves non smokers and are truly happy about it.

    Don't beat yourself up, but pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and look down that nonsmoking road with a smile on your face. You'll get there.

    H

  • Lu,

    It might help if you join a support group - and also it might help having NRT as well - u can get them relatively cheap if u do it through the pharmacy schemes that r going about.

    I have joined the Lloyds pharmacy stop smoking scheme. Wot it is---its last for 3 months, basically i went last tuesday, had a chat (very informal), then the pharmacist prescribes u with NRT (patches, gum, lozenges, inhalator) whatever you think works, and it only cost £3 for 4 weeks worth of NRT - a bargain in my eues considering it cost me more than that A DAY to smoke!!

    Try it

    Good luck x

  • Thanks

    Thanks everyone - feeling a little better having had a rant, had a think and formulated a plan...

    I'm going to try again tomorrow - so annoyed about today i think it's given me a boost to PROVE to myself i can do one poxy day... and then build on that. I cannot give up on this - it is too important.

    If tomorrow does not go well (and that is no a pre-admission of failure) i think i will take a few days to take stock and solidify in my mind why i want this and that it's not a sacrifice, it's a great thing to do. But i really dont want to do that - dont want to be smoking for even a few more days and that feeling, the feeling of smoking for more days - i hate it, so have high hopes for tomorrow - positive thinking - i CAN do this. I never smoke during the day now - those 5 or so in the evening can't be that big a deal.

  • Hi Lulabelle

    My first attempt was similar... I started off cold turkey, lasted nearly 24hrs before the fear hit me (with the biggest craving I've ever had)and I actually thought I was going crazy! I sprinted to the shop for a packet of fags (probably broke a world speed record too!) but didn't want to quit quitting....

    I figured my method was probably wrong for me, and I didn't want to go through that day again - so I got myself some patches the next day. (And an inhalator too a few days later!) Don't worry if you need a bit of help - not necessarily NRT, there's other things out there (champix and similar), all of which have worked for people on this forum.

    Good luck, whatever happens! xx

  • Hi Lulabelle,

    Don't beat yourself up over this.

    However, if I were you I'd take a week out of these quit attempts to get the strength in your mind. Read up, plan if you want to use NRT etc.

    This is because you keep trying and failing on day 1 which isn't giving you any chance to regain the strength in your willpower.

    Don't worry - you will do it. But make sure you know why you're doing it and that you really want to do it.

    Coralie x :)

  • Hey!

    Sorry you didn't make it hun!

    Reading your post earlier about what you've been doing the last few weeks reminds me of the last time I tried to quit. I made it through about 6 months like you did... Smoking every few days, never quit, but not a proper smoker. To be honest I think I felt worse than smoking full time. Evntually I went back to smoking, and I think in some ways it made me stronger for this time.

    I read something the other day that said that how you feel when you quit smoking is not how your gonna feel forever. Thats what I keep remembering. I've promised myself I'll do at least 2 weeks, and then I'll decide if I want to be a smoker again or if I don't. I can't face the whole "I'm never gonna smoke again" thing.

    Maybe if you keep failing at the same time, you should start at a different time? If you had your last cig at lunch, you may be more determined for your first evening and then you could sleep through your hardest time?

    Or just go to bed super super early! I ended up in bed early last night cause I just couldn't face sitting there!

    Good Luck though!

    Let us know how you get on!

  • Hi Lulabelle,

    Don't beat yourself up over this.

    However, if I were you I'd take a week out of these quit attempts to get the strength in your mind. Read up, plan if you want to use NRT etc.

    This is because you keep trying and failing on day 1 which isn't giving you any chance to regain the strength in your willpower.

    Don't worry - you will do it. But make sure you know why you're doing it and that you really want to do it.

    Coralie x :)

    +1 for this!

    Beating yourself up won't achieve anything!

    In years from now when you've been very happily quit for years it won't make the blindest bit of difference on which particular day you stopped.

    Just keep yourself in the no-smoking "zone", read whatever you can starting at whyquit.com and just keep learning about your habit.

    Finding your feet in a quit is a very personal thing. Listen to all of us and ignore most of us and do it whichever way is easiest for you.

    My biggest piece of advice would be to listen and chat with those who've quit themselves not just the salesmen.

    Quitting is forever and without a little background reading that can be a very scary concept! :)

  • Or just go to bed super super early! I ended up in bed early last night cause I just couldn't face sitting there!

    Totally agree with this. Have a bath and go to bed.

    I think I read somewhere your other half smokes inside? Can you ask him not to?

    C x

  • Hi Lulabelle, I think I'm going to encourage you to take time out as Coralie suggested.

    Take some time to gather your wits about you. Starting and stopping like you are is going to have you in such a state both physically and emotionally you won't know which way up you are!! :)

    Take a look at your options, maybe go and speak to your quit nurse or pharmacist.

  • :(

    This is getting depressing, and i know no-one to blame but myself. Made it to 8.30pm tonight, but that's not even 24h!

    This is now 3 failed attempts in as many weeks. Managed 4 days first time, but since then, not managed a whole day.

    Planning to try again tomorrow and hoping the fact i'm so annoyed with myself today will motivate me.

    I know it's hard but i should be able to get through it, everyone else is....v.depressed. Scoured old posts but everyone else seems to get through their tough times - why cant i?:confused: Secretly hoping (and i realise this is very wrong of me) that others who fail are just not posting anymore and have gone back to smoking, but i dont want to stop trying to not smoke or i'll never get there will i?

    Sorry for long rant - getting bored of hearing myself say the same thing over and over so i'm sure you guys must be too. Think i will try again tomorrow anyway and really do my best - hopefully post again in a few days with GOOD news.

    Hi Lulabelle

    I took a week (5 days) off work and locked myself away in the house, which I am sure now allowed me the first week without temptation and for all the weird crazy demons to do their thing. Don't beat yourself up so much at least you still want to give up and are trying, that is the most important thing.

    Good luck.

  • Wise man once said.

    If you set yourself up to fail .....

    YOU WILL!

    You're beating yourself up to much! You're HUMAN! Just keep trying! You can do it .. everyone fails a "million" times before they succeed, and that's at EVERYTHING, not just giving up smoking!

    Have hope, have faith, in YOU! Go to the doctors, explain how much youhave triend, explain how badly you want this and let them help!

  • Hi Lulabelle,

    Don't beat yourself up over this.

    However, if I were you I'd take a week out of these quit attempts to get the strength in your mind. Read up, plan if you want to use NRT etc.

    This is because you keep trying and failing on day 1 which isn't giving you any chance to regain the strength in your willpower.

    Don't worry - you will do it. But make sure you know why you're doing it and that you really want to do it.

    Coralie x :)

    I'm a plus 2 to the above and adding Austin's post as well. But then there is also a lot of encouragement added in by others.

    For my tuppence worth I'd just take a step back and chill :cool:

    It's not gonna go away, this stopping smoking lark. It'll be here for you when you get back to it.

    Go and get back to your life and take the stress off...you haven't wasted anything and everyone here has respect for you.

    Catch up on yourself, Lullabelle :cool:

  • Oh Lulabelle,

    I am feeling your pain!

    I too have been finding it difficult. BUT, as the others have said, prepare yourself for your next attempt, think about NRT replacement, the time of day you quit, the benefits of quitting etc. You can do it! Other members on this forum prove that it is possible (however much our nicodemons tell us otherwise!! grrrr....).

    I was on day 6, but unfortnately I have had a relapse and had a cigarette. Receiving bad news appears to be a strong trigger for me! GRRRR... I am angry with myself, but as they say, if at first you dont succeed, try and try again! So, that is exactly what I am going to do. I am not going to let 1 nasty smelly cigarette real me back in. I coped without the other 119 (!!!) over the last 6 days so back on the wagon for me.

    So, heres to day 1!

    NRT patch= check

    Niquitin minis at the ready = check

    Non-smoking ways of coping with bad news = check!

    Good luck and keep us all posted :D

    Claire

  • Ciao Lu, Maybe this is not the right time for you to give up. Maybe, you need to build up your resolve, and wait before you do another quit. I reckon you learn something each time. I smoked heavily for 40 years. This quit I guess is my 7th or 8th? Each time, I went through all the agony stuff and convinced myself that life without smoking was no life. I told myself life without smoking wasn't worth it, the sacrifice was too big; that I deserved to smoke. I used to wake up and tell myself "brilliant, another day of smoking ahead". Horseshit. This time, I've simply changed the whole approach. I just tell myself that life without smoking is better. That smoking is a viscious circle - it's a poison that feeds on itself. Starve the poison. I stopped smoking for one reason above all - I don't want to smoke any more. I want to escape. There's no way I'm going to put myself back into that prison, and spend the rest of my life either trying to escape, or telling myself that I'm happy to live behind bars. Then turn the whole thing round, from the negatives to the positives. Just try and get rid of the feeling that quitting is deprivation. For me right now, it's freedom!! Something that I've wanted for 20 years. I just wish I could get how I feel across to you through this keyboard. Good luck, Jeremy

    Remember, smokers envy non-smokers.

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