31 days today

Hi I'm new on here, I did type out a bit about how and why I am trying to quit but I think I put the message in wrong place ;( my head feels all over the place, mostly I feel missable and think about my cravings too much. But I'm trying.. Telling myself each day, have one maybe tomorrow,, thing is even when I have thought sod it!! And decide I'm having one, I can't seem to let myself... This is good I know but weird as well ;( thankou for letting me join I have read lots of post on here over the last few weeks while waiting to be able to actually join... I'm not sure how long I will be a non smoker for but am giving it my best shot.. To hard at the moment to think ill never want one / have one again.. Though every time someone winds me up / upsets me to the point of me really needing one.. I tell myself - they aren't worth it!!!! ;) and haven't caved in yet.. Good luck to each and every one of you.. Lel. X

21 Replies

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  • Lelley you are doing amazingly well 31 days is no mean feat ! I think you know deep down that what ever happens to you in life a cigarette is not going to help or change anything I'am no expert but I think you have come this far just keep at it hopefully things will get easier with time xxxx

  • Thank you mrs c... Your right I do now understand and know that no matter what... A ciggy will not make things go away or be all better etc.. But having used that as my coping mechanism for of 20 years it all feels so strange now not to be reaching for them... Thank you for ur reply to my message. X

  • Hi Lelly, I know its so flippin hard when you first Quit, but honestly it gets easier the longer you go, are you using anything to help you get through or are you going CT? I use patches and an inhalator and I have gone nearly three months now, but its not been easy I still got craves, but most craves are in the mind so its our brain we have to work on to kick that evil Nico devil in to touch. Dont even think about other people taunting you about your Quit! you are the stronger person and will have the last laugh sod them and you just do what you set out to do. keep posting and reading there are lots of great people on here who know what your going through and will support you, chin up!:)

  • well done

    well done.

    now keep up the good work. we are free from fags, lets keep it that way.

  • Hi Lelly, I know its so flippin hard when you first Quit, but honestly it gets easier the longer you go, are you using anything to help you get through or are you going CT? I use patches and an inhalator and I have gone nearly three months now, but its not been easy I still got craves, but most craves are in the mind so its our brain we have to work on to kick that evil Nico devil in to touch. Dont even think about other people taunting you about your Quit! you are the stronger person and will have the last laugh sod them and you just do what you set out to do. keep posting and reading there are lots of great people on here who know what your going through and will support you, chin up!:)

    When does it get a lot easier?? Roughly..?? Well done to you for going 3 months :) have you been tempted to give into your craves..? I know they have got to be in my mind now (craves) but they still make me feel like I really want one at times ;( worse ones I miss are one when I wake up, after meals, with a coffee, after doing chores such ironing etc, when I'm on the phone, when I've driven a distance, before I go to bed.... Actually if I'm honest I think the craves are loosing their power a little.. After meals I ask hubby to please don't rush outside for he's one as it makes me feel like I need one so bad, as long as he lingers a few mins after we have eaten it does help..

    I wanted to give up for some a while, I saw Paul McKennas book/cd and saw it had good reviews and thought why not.. When it came left it on the side for a few days, then read the book and thought ill listen to the cd and if it seems any good ill decide when to start it properly and set a date (I thought late may would be good for me) after that first listen!! Hubby said ciggy before bed? I said umm no I don't actually fancy one ;0. Next morning the same thing, didnt fancy one... Listened to the cd daily for about a week, haven't really looked back.. As much as I want one - so bad at times !! Can't seem to let myself!! Mad.. The longer it goes on the more I tell myself it's been so long just don't!!

    Just had a craving for my morning one with my coffee ;(

    Thank you for your reply tooshay x

  • Hi Lel and welcome.

    You've done a month and the worst is over.:) Just ignore others who want you to smoke. Just take it one day at a time. You've got this far you may as well keep going.;)

    lostie:)

    Is that honestly true.. Is the first month the hardest,,,, ?? X

  • well done.

    now keep up the good work. we are free from fags, lets keep it that way.

    I'm trying..... ;-/ good luck to you :) x

  • Thanks Kat.. Well done to u as well, ur a couple weeks ahead of me, I do ry and push the craves from my thoughts but do struggle because I think I'm almost scared to commit totally to being a non smoker - how bad am I !! I just feel sad like I've lost a big part of me, like a friends left me etc I do wonder will things like, sitting in the garden in the summer with a cold drink be the same without an ashtray and ciggy., will laying round the pool on holiday relaxing, reading etc with a ciggy be quite the same.. These thoughts are hard, it's mad I know, but trying to imagine doing these things with out them cigs feels so challenging !! I just done an exercise class (gained 7 pounds in 4 weeks!!!!!!;(. And not having a ciggy as a treat straight after has made me feel totally lost ;( and empty... Xx

  • Lelly, it gets easier and easier. There will be wobbles along the way, so don't feel too worried when they happen, as they soon pass.

    It has just occurred to me that yesterday I did not think about smoking all day, not once. The time will come in the not to distant future when you find that you hardly think about smoking either.

    In the meantime, it is a process and you can't rush it. I feel impatient about it from time to time if that's any consolation!

  • Lelley, I know exactly what you mean! I still have those feelings too.

    Mmm, barbecue and a fag. Summer beer...and a fag. Balmy evening with a cigarette, still outside in the warmth... I know, what on earth?? :confused:

    I'm looking at these things with the same trepidation as you. We're yet to experience them without smoking, but that also means we're yet to experience just how great they can be smoke-free. I'm convinced, like with every event since I quit, that these occasions will turn out to be all the better for not smoking. I really believe that (nerves or no bloody nerves!), and it helps, smoking detracts from them rather than enhancing them.

    Three months in and I still quite fancy one every now and then but it's pretty easy to control now, just a question of never letting the guard slip. After the first few weeks it gets much easier. Here's why, look at the scan images. drugabuse.gov/news-events/n...

    A whole month is great! well done you! :)

  • well done hun

  • Lelley

    A very warm welcome to the Forum. You are doing so well my love, a month quit is amazing:)

    My advice would be please, please don't look too far ahead, just take baby, baby steps.

    It can only lead to feeling down if you think of future occasions without a cig, so please just try to stay in the 'present zone'.

    Fi x

  • Hi again Lelly, no one can say when it starts to get better because every ones Quit is different. Quitting is one of the hardest things I have ever done, those people who found it easy are very lucky. I was the same as you, I missed a fag most in the mornings and after meals really really badly. I have had quite a few rants on here very close to giving in but there is always someone on line to help you get back on track. just be aware you might be weepy for no reason, angry for no reason, depressed, cant concentrate. All these things are normal for some quitters, I found the inhalator helps with me at times when I really want one its something to put in your hand and mouth,I know a lot of people think it pro longs the Quit but to me Its not a race and if I have to use it for a year Iwill. BUT THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR Quit you need to decide if you need a little help. You have done great going a month and some will say your over the worst

    I was advised to drink cold water slowly through a straw when I got a crave and it really helps, you just have to find ways to avoid the routine of when you used to smoke not easy but you can do it honestly and then one day you will just think gosh I havn't thought about a cig all day.

    My husband is also still a smoker and I sat him down and had a good talk to him about ways he could help me and it works He will never give up but thats his choice Quitting is mine! hang on in there You can do this:)

  • Keep going!

    Hi Lelley, it is hard in the early days. I just could not stop thinking about it and I kept finding reasons to smoke again, but I resisted and I am so glad I did. That was a year ago. I never want to give up again I found it so hard, but it does get easier otherwise noone would be able to quit. Keep it going! Hang tough!:)

  • I know what you mean Lelley, but I'm operating on the theory that I shouldn't look so far ahead, just deal with the here and now and worry about how to approach those occasions when I get to them! I did have a three year quit some years ago and I know I had a holiday then which I enjoyed so I obviously got past it that time, ergo I should be able to do so again!

    Thanks.. I will try and deal with this one day at a time.. Ill try to anyway ;) x

  • Lelly, it gets easier and easier. There will be wobbles along the way, so don't feel too worried when they happen, as they soon pass.

    It has just occurred to me that yesterday I did not think about smoking all day, not once. The time will come in the not to distant future when you find that you hardly think about smoking either.

    In the meantime, it is a process and you can't rush it. I feel impatient about it from time to time if that's any consolation!

    Yes thank you it does help to know that it's not just me feeling this way etc.. I really can't imagine ever having a day when I don't think of smoking... But I'm sure eventually I will have that day :) I think having smoked for over 20 years its just so strange not smoking.. Everything seems flat at the moment including my mood.. :( thanks so much for your reply.. Appreciated., xx

  • Lelley, I know exactly what you mean! I still have those feelings too.

    Mmm, barbecue and a fag. Summer beer...and a fag. Balmy evening with a cigarette, still outside in the warmth... I know, what on earth?? :confused:

    I'm looking at these things with the same trepidation as you. We're yet to experience them without smoking, but that also means we're yet to experience just how great they can be smoke-free. I'm convinced, like with every event since I quit, that these occasions will turn out to be all the better for not smoking. I really believe that (nerves or no bloody nerves!), and it helps, smoking detracts from them rather than enhancing them.

    Three months in and I still quite fancy one every now and then but it's pretty easy to control now, just a question of never letting the guard slip. After the first few weeks it gets much easier. Here's why, look at the scan images. drugabuse.gov/news-events/n...

    A whole month is great! well done you! :)

    Omg someone who actually feels the same.... Thankyouuuuuu so much for your reply.. I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like the thought of doing so many things without a ciggy in my hand is not going to be the same, no longer fun etc..... The fact that you say that already you have found things to be better for NOT smoking is very encouraging.. i cant quite imagine thinking that myself but I'm sure i will soon ish.. well fingers crossed anyway.. ;)

    Oh how I wish I had never started smoking in the first place... ;( you and so many others are doing so well!! 3 months is so long.... I will have a look at the link you have put.. Thank you... Good luck to you, sounds like you are very determined :) x

  • Hi again Lelly, no one can say when it starts to get better because every ones Quit is different. Quitting is one of the hardest things I have ever done, those people who found it easy are very lucky. I was the same as you, I missed a fag most in the mornings and after meals really really badly. I have had quite a few rants on here very close to giving in but there is always someone on line to help you get back on track. just be aware you might be weepy for no reason, angry for no reason, depressed, cant concentrate. All these things are normal for some quitters, I found the inhalator helps with me at times when I really want one its something to put in your hand and mouth,I know a lot of people think it pro longs the Quit but to me Its not a race and if I have to use it for a year Iwill. BUT THIS IS ABOUT YOU AND YOUR Quit you need to decide if you need a little help. You have done great going a month and some will say your over the worst

    I was advised to drink cold water slowly through a straw when I got a crave and it really helps, you just have to find ways to avoid the routine of when you used to smoke not easy but you can do it honestly and then one day you will just think gosh I havn't thought about a cig all day.

    My husband is also still a smoker and I sat him down and had a good talk to him about ways he could help me and it works He will never give up but thats his choice Quitting is mine! hang on in there You can do this:)

    Hi. Do you still miss the morning cig and the after meal ones.. ?? I think because its so cold out at the moment I'm not too bad now with the after meal ones, those craves are easing.. But the morning ones.. ;( that first coffee just isn't the same..

    I have felt a bit low at times, actually quite low to start with, and like you say, weepy, angry, short tempered!! Lack of concentration etc., definitely improved since a couple of weeks ago.. Though tonight I feel vey tearful ;(

    Its hard isnt it when your partner still smokes.. When mine came in earlier after having a cig after dinner I thought I was going to throw up with the smell.. It was disgusting.. I don't think I smelt like that when I smoked... :eek:

    My husband is more ratty than me since I quit.. Daughter says its like he is the one trying to quit.. He says that I'm making him feel guilty that he's still smoking and making it hard for him.. When I said I fancied a cig earlier he said not again.. !! I said I'd only said it twice today.. He said it had been more times than twice.. I lost my rag with him and said that its not about him!! It's about me and my trying to quit and it don't really matter if I say I WANT A FAG a hundred times a day as long as I don't have one - that's what matters at the moment.

    I will definitely try the water with a straw.. :)

    I will hang in there.. I know that if I give in and smoke I will so badly regret it and feel like ill probably always smoke then and I really don't want that.... Thank you everyone for the support.. Xx

  • Awww bless you Lelley, it's not easy is it? This is going to be a difficult line for you to walk, I know it's not much comfort but the fact that you're quitting, fighting your way through the craves and holding fast to what you've achieved so far is probably quite threatening to your other half. He may well think that it's making him look weak for not doing the same, or lessening him in your daughter's eyes because you're doing this and he isn't. I would always get very defensive when anyone around me quit so he may be doing the same. Whatever the reasons, you hold fast to what you're doing and try to explain to him that you're not doing this to get at him or make him feel guilty but you're doing it FOR YOURSELF. Best of British hon, rooting for you :)

    Thanks Kat :) you may be right.. It does make sense.. Could be why he seems to be finding this harder than me!!!

    It's madness though... Blimey least if he's feeling stressed he can make a nice cuppa, get coated up and go outside and have a puff... :-/ jealousssss lol..

    Xxx

  • Oh Lelly I do know what you mean about the partner. Every time I got a bit ratty he would say ''for gods sake just have a fag'' It made me so angry even my kids started saying it! I will be the first to admit that I was not the nicest of people to be around for the first few weeks :eek: but in a way it did me good and made me all the more determined to show them all!:mad: I really do agree with Kat that its more about their weakness, but as he realized how determined I was he started to get a bit more considerate, after a good ear bashing I might add! just remember little steps, deal with each day as it comes, and please please believe having a smoke will not change anything and you will be gutted after doing so well, keep posting, and have a good old rant, anytime you need

    to :)

  • Thank you

    Thanks so much all of you, I know that all that you say makes sense.... Kat, ummmm I guess ur right....who in their right mind wants to go stand outside the back door in this crap cold weather puffing away, coughing and stinking and going to bed with cold feet and hands.. Your right, right now right this minute I'm no longer jealous...

    Max.. I know what you say is true too, but I'm kinda at the stage still where I'm feeling, no no no I smoked cos I did actually really enjoy all the cigs that i smoked.... I hope so much that soon I will be like you's and realise/admit, actually I did it cos I was addicted etc.... I know this is bad but you know when you see some food that is really tempting and it makes ur mouth water,,, well my mouth keeps feeling like that when I think about cigs !!!! Me bad...

    Son just came in said he can't find he's filters... I was turning house upside down helping him to try find them... After 20 mins I said NO!! I cant do this I'm bloody gagging for a fag!!! If you were that desperate you would smoke one without a filter...!!

    Poor son... Prob had enough of me and me suddenly becoming stressy but seriously too many smokers around me, doing my bed in :( decided to try stand in the garden today with a coffee (and no ciggy,, a first for me...) weren't so bad, sun was shining,, thought umm maybe I can actually do this.. Still nice standing here even thou I'm not lighting up.... Hubby comes out stands next to me chatting then lights a bloody ciggy up !!!! Grrrrr

    Tooshay.. Hubby hasn't said have a fag to me but he has said a couple of times

    when I've said I need a fag :( he's replied well have one then!!! Grrrr so could do with some support in my home from immediate family :( I do think we would all be happier if I just sparked up... IM NOT GOING TO THOUGH !!!

    Thanks so much.. My night has gone being spent on here ;) xxx

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