I'm working at home today, alone, and he popped up earlier - sat himself down in the corner of the room and looked at me. You know him. He's the one that says "one won't hurt, what damage can it do? You'll probably be ok, carry on with the quit, it's just the one, you're all alone, who's to know..."
These days "He" only appears when I'm bored and my mind starts to wander. Good thing is - I'm way stronger than him, he's an ugly, weedy little s0d, fun to poke in the eye with a pen, and then dispatch through the window out into the rain with the back of my hand. Remember I'm using abject defiance to quit, I won't be beaten by a plant. So no craving, not any more mates, he's not good enough at inducing those. Just a couple of questions to self.
By the way - thank you forum, this is just a muse, sometimes if I'm alone it helps to write these things down knowing that you'll read them and understand. And I'm fine.
I've not been near a smoker for weeks. Since I quit I haven't seen a fag close up, or smelled one - smoke however I can smell with my new St Bernards nose (especially on other people) and I haven't physically touched one either.
So the questions. I wonder what they smell like? If I touched one, would my hand smell? Surely it would if I crumbled it? Does it weigh more than my pen?? And the biggie, what would it be like? I can't remember now.
Let's look at the imp again Hawkeye, let him ask all the damn stupid questions he wants, and whoosh, there he goes, out of the window again, onto the trampoline and over the neighbours' fence. Au revoir!
As for the answers - especially to the big question, I'm absolutely convinced I'll never...ever...know....
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I also think of any cravings as a living entity, but an imp, in my minds eye, it is a brownish green, gooey lump (yuck) and I talk to him, (well battle sometimes) in my mind, but lately I have been laughing at him and he is starting to quake.
It has actually been proven that if we just listen to or say things we don't take in anywhere near as much as we do when we write them down. FACT! (er, I think :))
When I first quit I was on the Nicorette Active Stop program.
Each day I would get a task to complete and fill in my results or findings.
Well one day, after only feeling like I had been quit for minutes, my task was to go to a friend or colleague and ask if I could "sniff their packet"......I say...ooo err missus!
That was the only task I blankly refused to do!
Are they mad?
Do they want me to start smoking again in a heartbeat?
No way ... no how! not me Pedro...you can stick this task right up yer %*^&%!!
Well the next day or so I felt bad for not having completed one of my tasks.
So, I jumped on a passing salesman (who smoked) and asked if I could have one. He had no idea I had stopped!
With shaky hand I took his tobacco tin and flipped it open...in what seemed like slow motion!
I'm convinced my face lit up in gold light like when the guy in The Raiders of the Lost Ark opened the Ark of the Covenant at the end....or when Jack Sparrow spots an idle bottle of rum!
I lifted the tin slowly to my nose....my mind churning as much as my stomach.....I girded my loins (painful .... don't try that at home kids!) .... exhaled.....stuck my schnoz in the tin and snifffffffed!
:eek:
Life suddenly came back to full speed again and I caught site of the salesman staring at me like I had two heads!!
Quick as a flash, I snapped the tin shut and handed it back to him, turned and walked away.
"Oy...don't you want one now?" he asked..
"Nahhhhh, they stink!"
And may I say Hawkeye......Niiiice backhand volley you got there
Loving this thread, thanks guys! The positivity of quitting is so helpful on here when I'm feeling a bit wobbly!
Whenever I read a post it just reminds me what a journey we are all on! Sounds silly, to others in " real life" but this forum has been my best secret weapon to quit the naughties!!!!
There just not worth it anymore ...... We are slowly but surely free and it feels ****ing fantastic!!!!!
It has actually been proven that if we just listen to or say things we don't take in anywhere near as much as we do when we write them down. FACT! (er, I think :))
When I first quit I was on the Nicorette Active Stop program.
Each day I would get a task to complete and fill in my results or findings.
Well one day, after only feeling like I had been quit for minutes, my task was to go to a friend or colleague and ask if I could "sniff their packet"......I say...ooo err missus!
That was the only task I blankly refused to do!
Are they mad?
Do they want me to start smoking again in a heartbeat?
No way ... no how! not me Pedro...you can stick this task right up yer %*^&%!!
Well the next day or so I felt bad for not having completed one of my tasks.
So, I jumped on a passing salesman (who smoked) and asked if I could have one. He had no idea I had stopped!
With shaky hand I took his tobacco tin and flipped it open...in what seemed like slow motion!
I'm convinced my face lit up in gold light like when the guy in The Raiders of the Lost Ark opened the Ark of the Covenant at the end....or when Jack Sparrow spots an idle bottle of rum!
I lifted the tin slowly to my nose....my mind churning as much as my stomach.....I girded my loins (painful .... don't try that at home kids!) .... exhaled.....stuck my schnoz in the tin and snifffffffed!
:eek:
Life suddenly came back to full speed again and I caught site of the salesman staring at me like I had two heads!!
Quick as a flash, I snapped the tin shut and handed it back to him, turned and walked away.
"Oy...don't you want one now?" he asked..
"Nahhhhh, they stink!"
And may I say Hawkeye......Niiiice backhand volley you got there
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(especially on other people) and I haven't physically touched one either.
still around,and doing ok
still struggling day 6
Day 3 - still positive!!
Yep still here! Day 9
