Hi everyone, I was on this forum awhile ago and did really well with tracking my progress and talking to everyone on here. I failed because I thought that I was over It and stupid thinking "I know we've all done it" but thinking 1 wont hurt. I started the cycle again.
It's really getting me down! I set the goal for the 1st of January but by the second I was back on it and everyday so far this month I think In my head this Is my last day ever smoking and I really mean It and feel confident. But then next morning I wake up and I give Into the craving after a few hours. I know that I can do It because I've done It before but always slipped up for some reason or another.
I'm so sick of saying every sunday that I will give up and start a new week free and then It's every end of the month I think Ill stop now and start this new month off fresh. Well and then It's every social ocasion I have togo to I think well I'll just get past that first and then I'll stop. I'm so sick of myself saying that.
Smoking has taken over my life. I'm stressed all the time. I feel so low right now. I hate to say this and I feel so low... I'm a piece of crap! The lengths I'll go to just to get a cigerette. I feel embarresed everytime I go the shops b/c they always roll there eyes at me like Oh here he Is again. Sometimes I'll go with just 1p's and 2p's from the penny jar when I run out of money. I feel like a idiot and a pain in the ass when they have to count £4's worth of pennies. It's getting me Into debt I just can't afford them half the time - work Is slow this time of year. When I think about all this and realising It's the nicotine that Is making me this miserable and thats why I need to remove It from my life.
I only smoke 10 aday which Isn't alot. I'm like someone who Is addicted to a street drug the way I act with it. I sound stupid I know but I feel such a junkie with this. Tonight was the final straw for me I want my life back I hate the person I've turned Into. Well It's the lengths I'll go through to get a pack of cigarettes I just can't believe how low I could stoop. I feel so ashamed and guilty! I feel like with everything else In life I have a choice and I'm In control but with cigarettes I feel like I don't have a choice I have no control over it. It's getting worse and worse as time goes on. I'm gonna do the right thing now! I don't want to carry on beating myself up I want to put it all right. I keep reminding myself that we're all human we all make mistakes and It's not how many times you get knocked down Its how many Times you get back up!
I'm not waiting till sunday or the end of the month The time Is Now! I'm ready to own my life.
I hope I can have the support of you guys and I can support you.
I just put out my final cigarette!
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Hi bang, gosh sounds like you have been having a tough time lately, I'm sorry to hear that. I can relate to you, I also became obsessed with smoking, I would be embarrassed going to the newsagents each day to get my fix... Even if I didn't have the money I would find a way ( disgustingly would also sometimes use my kids pocket money if I had to- very ashamed of myself.)
I would buy the pack have two in a row then throw the pack in the bin......hour or two later be searching the bin so I could smoke the rest of the pack.(gross)!
I also only smoked 10 a day, it became a very furtive habit.
It is now 30 days since I last had a cig, I feel do much better physically and emotionally. Obsviously some pretty bad craves to start but....after days 9-10 it has got much easier I promise!!!
4th serious quit, this time I know can't just have the odd one, I'm too obsessive and it's a slippery slope. Besides that I'm enjoying my freedom too much!!!
Come on bang you can do it! You sound like you have had enough!!!
Keep posting it really helps, Im wishing you the very best of luckxxxx
OMG Bang youve just told my story. I used to do that pennies thing and i know the shop keepers rolling eyes thing and.feeling like a total junkie. truth is thats what i was ,thats what u are.( well it sounds that way) .nicotine is a powerful addictive drug. if u dont beleive that just ask the dealers but dont expect an honest answer.
Sometimes we have to reach that place where we just get sick and tired of being sick and tired. I got totally sick to death of stopping and starting and putting it off. until one of my quit days got to 24 hrs and I chose to do another hour then another and so on. using this forum was a huge help. we dont have to do it on our own. theres tons of help for u . just reach for it and use it.
Im dead chuffed to say iv remained quit for over a year now, i used to beleive i could never do it , couldnt even manage one day at first and now i feel completely free of cravings . social occasions are now events i sail through free of cravings. i dont miss it at all. I hope u crack it this time . lots of people are like me and it takes a few attempts . all the best M.
ps u might find some intereting help tips on the links below.
Stick with it Bang, it's going to be well worth it!!
Think we've all been where you were, the times I'd have not bought petrol or something so I could "afford" fags, spend what should have been my lunch money or whatever and scrape together money from down the back of the sofa for them. When I was younger I even raided the coins relatives had given me to get my fix (nothing special but commerative 50p and £2 ones) which lookin back on it is flipping pathetic.
*But* I'm free now and have the worst willpower ever so if I can do it you definitely can!!
Keep posting and reading on here and I'm sure you'll get through!!
Think most smokers have been there Bang, I know i have at one time or another!
I have always wished that smoking was illegal, as for me, I wouldn't do it if it was against the law and think it would be so much easier to quit if they were not on sale in shops. Realistically that won't ever happen, so I had to take the bull by the horns and just give it a go. Am 23 days in and doing well (with the help of patches) and I have smoked since I was 8 years old, 15/20 a day for the last 40 years:mad:
Thank you so much guys for responding. I can't tell you how much you have helped me. I'm still on day 1 but already today I had thoughts just 1 more packet and start tomorrow when u feel more ready. I reminded myself that how many times have I thought that and It never works. Truth Is theres never a good time b/c I think It's along journey of ups and downs.
Thank you so much guys for responding. I came on here feeling so low and panicky. I feel like my stomach Is going crazy doing jumps or something wanting a cigarette and my head Is trying to make excuses up to have 1. Well coming on here has re- installed my confidence and my reasons for doing it.
I'm so glad that other people have done the same things as me with the money side. I feel so low about it,
Can I ask a question to those who quit. I know that u started where I am can u tell me how this journey works.
Glad you've started your journey again, you can do it , no putting off no excuses, now. Your post has helped me a bit as I'm craving a lot tonight which I've not done for a ling time - in just about 3 months quit. Reading your post reinforces to me I can't crack, I can't go back it's a vicious circle and it's miserable.
You're nearly at the end of day 1, that's the first hurdle - good luck on your journey
Keep going Bang, the only way is forward, one foot in front of the other into your future. No looking backwards, to that awful habit, look forwards to better health, more self respect and being much sweeter smelling!
We are all here for you, we all want you to do brilliantly.
Please let us know how you're getting on. Read as much as you can on this forum and stay strong. You CAN do this love.
Hello Bang and well done surviving day 1. I know too well how mind does tricks on you and comes up with reasons to smoke. I have been a serial quitter for seven years now Just remember, there are no good reasons for smoking. Whatever that little devil is saying, its all lies!
Feeling sorry for your self, beaware of that trap too. I remember reading forums before and thinking I am pathetic and not as strong as these people here. It gave me a reason to go dig the ash tray for any long leftovers... how sad is that eh?
Your second post sounded much more positive already, so keep up the good spirit! The journey is different for everyone, but one thing is for sure, you WILL feel better and better about yourself when the non-smoking days go by and you move from room to another.
Eeeew yes def picked out the long fag ends from the ashtray ....yuk!!!
Bang you can do it the first day is a Mager step, regardless of how many times you have quit in the past.
It's a clean slate, new beginning!i hope you survived ok yesterday. First few days I just wanted to lock myself away but.....now it's easier, I have more time ( before I felt like I never had enough!) i have some extra money, I don't feel guilty! And i don't stink of stale fags!!!
Bang, it really will be worth it, just think a few uncomfortable days and then not smoking will become the norm! Take it one day at a time.
You can do it!!! Just keep posting an reading everyone is supportive on here and full of unjudgemental advice xxxx
Yep I have done that gross thing aswell. It's really good to hear other people saying they do the same things as I did. I guess smoking brings out the worse In people.
Well today I guess It's my first official day. It's like a see-saw In my head all day long. 1 minute I'm determend and then the next I'm trying to come of with reasons just to buy 1 more pack. I know from the past experience that this never works. There's never a easy time to stop. In the past I have built myself up with all these positive thoughts and that can last for the first few days but then It wears off and u have the cravings.
I've found that working out Is helping... I keep taking 10 minutes here and there and putting a little flow together which makes me feel alot better. My downside Is that I'm drinking cups of tea 1 after the other. I plan on stopping that today aswell. That was my main goal for so long to stop smoking and drinking tea (caffine). I think for some reason tea/coffee and a cigarette go hand In hand.
Well I'm gonna hit another weight sesh right now... I'm wanting a cigarette so much right now.
Horrible isn't it Bang? Just bloody horrible. It does get easier, but those first few days are awful! What can I say other than brave it out, keep excersising if that helps you. We all replace the fags with something in the early days and you could pick worse things than a cup of tea. If you want a brew have one.You wont do that forever. This is the best decision you have ever made in your life and nothing worth having comes easy. Maybe you could read Allen Carrs book Easyway to stop smoking. I found that extremely helpful it helps with the psycological addiction and changes the way you think about smoking. It is worth giving it a try. Keep posting and reading on this forum there are lots of long term quitters that have loads of helpful advice that you will benefit from. It does get easier Bang otherwise nobody would be able to quit would they?
You know what? I'm only on day four but I have some moments where I feel great. I don't know if it is due to having more oxygen in my blood as opposed to carbon monoxide (my last reading before I stopped was 30!!!!). I cried. 30! That is an awful reading and I am soooo glad that it will now have dropped way down. Do you see a stop smoking nurse at your Dr's? Maybe that will help you, even if you don't use nrt or any other form of therapy. I shall be seeing a nurse once a week even though I'm CT (nurse did give me some nrt last visit but only used two of the lozenges then stopped them). I am sending you lots and lots of good wishes your way and remember, we can all do this!
Hi guys. Well today was really hard and I failed. I was with my friend who smokes and I think that just being on this seesaw In my head when my weak moment kicked In well It never went I just thought screw It. Did I feel any better not really. So tomorrow will be my first day. I just feel so low right now I don't feel able whatsoever. I think right now I'm In fear b/c I don't have any money till this friday so even If I want to smoke I can't. That's what stresses me I think It's that I want 1 but I can't have 1.
I just want to rant for alittle to get out of my head. I know this Is all stupid... I'm not craving cigarettes I'm craving nicotine... It's the addiction and the only way to get away from it Is to not do it for a period of time. I know theres no such thing as over night results and maybe I should be looking at It as a journey and enjoy the journey of getting better. I hate failing I hate the feeling of failing. Nothing else In my life I fail at. I can always put my mind to something and echieve It - why Is it with this that I find It so difficuilt. I wish I just had a more positive mind with starting but I feel I'm more quitting right now just because I can't afford todo it anymore.
Though If I had money I would be saying everyday I'll quit tomorrow yet I never do. I do think that the universe can sometimes throw things at you and you should take advantage of it. This might sound wierd but with not having much work and not being able to smoke I think maybe It's because the universe Is telling me my time to stop Is now and I should take advantage of that. I may sound really wierd lol but I do think alot like that.
Tomorrow I'm back at work and I work with 1 smoker. I just cant even bare the thought of being round him and not smoking. I have no idea how to cope with this situation. I feel so low I can't concentrate at all right now. I'm stressy. I just either want a fag or for this to just stop. I know It's time to stop however I mean I can't buy any fags till friday anyway. My head Is just going crazy! I also know that no matter when I quit smoking I will always have to go through this. I'm going to listen to u guys who have quit. U all say that It really does get better after time. I'm going to keep that In my head. The only thing thats keeping me going Is working out. Sorry for the rant guys just wanted to get it out of my head.
Just re-reading what I wrote I think Is crazy. It really does help writing out how I feel b/c when I read it back I think Come on man get a grip u can do this. I know I can! I think maybe I should aproach this like I do everything else In life.... looking at It as a challenge. I usually like challenges though however this 1 not so much lol.
Thats maybe a good thing the harder something Is the better the victory. I did keep thinking In my head why don't u just trying getting through to friday and then u can have 1 again but what would be the point In that... being free for 4 days and then going back to It. I'm sick of being a fool It's doing nothing for me apart from killing me and worse of all making me feel like this.
I'm sick of failing and being a fool. Cigarettes are going up In price every few months... I'm spending £3.81 aday on 10 cigarettes to kill my body. I have no money ever. My passion In my life Is health and fitness yet I smoke and I sacrifice fags over food. I don't hardly eat my diet that I'm meant to be on b/c If I follow It I can't afford to buy fags aswell so I pick fags over everything. It's so stupid how It has control over my life Well not anymore!
I'm sorry If I sound Insane In my posts... I just want to get this out of my head. Thank you so much guys for taking the time and replying to me u really do help! Ive been re-reading your posts all day.
I have just realised that this Is a cycle. I've been here before , been In this same situation before and I will feel this way and be In the same situations again and again and again. Smoking Is just a cycle It goes on and on for life unless u break the habbit. I can't believe I only just realised this.
So no matter how hard It is to break this cycle... Isn't this short time of feeling miserable better than going through it for the rest of your life.
Also I realise there Is no perfect time to quit or reason to quit. All the reasons for a quit don't really matter because the basic reason Is your addicted to a drug. Being addicted to something your a slave to It. It's time to break these chains and be free!
Sounds you're having a rough time of it! Sorry to hear that. But pleased for you that you are going to have another go starting tomorrow! You know that doesn't give you cart-blanche to smoke away tonight, right?
Good luck tomorrow! You are right, you need to see this as a challenge:
Bang vs The Plant
Come on, mate! You can do it. First three days will be v.hard - plan ahead and get out, try and avoid friends that smoke and if they do warn them not to let you have a fag! It's just so not worth it!
Sounds you're having a rough time of it! Sorry to hear that. But pleased for you that you are going to have another go starting tomorrow! You know that doesn't give you cart-blanche to smoke away tonight, right?
Good luck tomorrow! You are right, you need to see this as a challenge:
Bang vs The Plant
Come on, mate! You can do it. First three days will be v.hard - plan ahead and get out, try and avoid friends that smoke and if they do warn them not to let you have a fag! It's just so not worth it!
Be strong! You can do it!
x
Nik
Thanks Nik! How are u finding it? Is it really just the first few days I have to deal with this sort of feeling. Haha I already stopped now. Gonna go for a quick yoga sesh I'm gonna see If the breathing and meditation helps out like I think It will. Thank you.
I recognise the desperation in your posts - I'm sure everyone on this forum has felt the need to break the cycle but can't see a way of doing it.
You haven't said in your posts if you're trying to quit CT or if you're using NRT or Champix. Have you thought about visiting a stop smoking clinic? These products really do make a difference, though different things work for different people.
You obviously have the resolve, maybe you just need the right tools to help you achieve your goal!
Also, there is a mass of information both on this site and others, as well as books like Allen Carr - reading and education can really give you the ammunition you need to beat the enemy!
Come on Bang You can do this, A lot of us have been there and most likely will be again at some point. It is a horrible addiction , and you sound as though youve really thought it through this time so go for it , everyone on this forum support each other so your not alone, give it your best shot!
Bang, sorry to hear you are struggling. I hope you can manage it today!
As some others have suggested as well, I think you need more weapons and plenty of ammunition to kill the bady. Are you getting any help? If not, get it! We will be here to cheer you on, but I would suggest you consider all the other options as well, like nrt, champix, support groups, allen carr... You need to get your head in gear and rather than torturing your self every day by
either smoking and feeling bad about it or not smoking and feeling sorry for your self into 'Wohoo, I dont have to smoke ever again and I feel great about it'!
By the sound of your posts, you are working towards a new mind set, but I think some added help would not hurt.
Wow, this is gong to be the hottest thread of the day. Well, done, stopping smoking is the single best thing you can do for yourself and those dear to you right now.
Every journey is different, none of us are the same, but we are all aligned to a common goal here. Thanks for having the courage and being honest.
You are now part of this forum, this group, and welcome. If I offer a suggestion it's only that, and there are plenty on this board, some will work for you and others won't, and you're free to choose. All I would urge you to do is have self-belief. YOU CAN DO THIS.
You asked about steps. Mine were as follows:
Day 0, 3rd Dec 2012, 7.30pm - step one: Throw fags in the bin. Put lighter in car glove box and lock it, it will come in handy for lighting barbecues next summer. Throw away second lighter, same bin as the fags. Get myself out for food and drink, as far away from the bin as possible and reflect on what I've just done. Bed.
Step 2 - day 1 - wake up. Get on with the day, without smoking. breakfast, work, phone calls, email, family friends, drink, TV, sport, kids, games, walking, car journey, stories, whatever your day is composed of. But just don't smoke.
Step 3 - bed, sleep if possible, and for me insomnia was one of the challenges. I'm happy to report it isn't any more.
Step 4 - repeat step 2. And at my stage in the quit I have to use mental maths and a calander to work out where I am, so I've just worked out this is the 55th time I've taken this step.
It's hard, and at times I've sworn, shouted, climbed the walls, taken myself off to quiet places and once I really thought I was the guy from An American Werewolf in London about to go through 'the change'.
But please believe the following:
This is do-able
You can do it.
You just need the self belief, a plan that is personal to you, and you resolve to stick to come what may, and the love and support of some good people. We are on the journey and are taking it step by step...together.
Well I survived monday and tuesday. It wasn't easy I just felt stressed all the time and my head felt like I was going Insane. Thanks to you all for replying to my messages because u pointed me In the right direction. A few of u said I should use help for ahead start so I've tried the allen carr method. I gotta say I feel so much better. I decieded last night that I'll give It ago because the way I felt was just unbearable.
So I found allen carr method on the net and when he said to smoke while watching I thought even better so I got some cigarettes from my friend. I've stayed up the whole night and dedicated myself to this. When I smoked the cigarette after not smoking for 2 days It tasted horrible! I stayed awake because I knew I couldn't sleep anyway because my mind was just going crazy and I hated waking up because smoking was my first thought of the day and I would just think how the hell do I make It through another day. I've not felt as stressed In my life as the last 2 days.
So after watching allen carr I feel much better. I think It's the aproach he uses for giving up. I feel now as though I can do It! It may still be hard but I know now I have a head start at least. I got a tough day today b/c I'm working with a smoker for a full day but right now I feel confident about It but then again I don't know how I'm going to feel when I'm there.
It's really helped me! My aproach to stopping Is different now I know that I can do this! I know theres going to be tough days ahead but I feel confident. Thank you so much to those who told me to give this a try. So I'm back on day 1 but I feel so much better now about doing this. Thank you thank you thank you to those who told me to give this a try.
I'm free and owning my life!
Right I best get some sleep now (only have 2 hours till work).
I've gotta say I hate cigarettes now! I'm glad I can see them for what they truely are! I'm also going to look forward to seeing the prices go up knowing that I'm not waisting money on them anymore.
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Just remember, there are no good reasons for smoking. Whatever that little devil is saying, its all lies!
TAKING IT ONE DAY AT A TIME! ;)
