Not again!

Hi all, I am back on day one after 3 recent serious attempts. I am on the patch again. this time I am trying to have a sense of humour about it instead of taking myself too seriously. I won't even say this is my final quit. Said it too often before. Just one day at a time. My boyfriend is quitting CT and on day 2. not pleasant to be around! he is going up the wall. It is detox city in this house and I think I should film the suffering as a warning to young folk not to take the habit up. Funny but I am fine, used to the first day and if I am not near ciggies, no worries. Who knows the secret to giving up without the inevitable horrors? I know, Allan C, you said it was easy but you were stronger then us. Hats off to you as ever.

Must dash as my boyfriend is polishing the kitchen knives which worries me slightly. Best of luck to all day oners. It won't be pretty but the gain will be worth the pain. I do not wish to keep paying for duck ponds and toilet brushes for our M.Ps. That is incentive enough. Chin up troops!

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  • Hi Rachel,

    Well done to you & BF.

    Keep reading, keep posting. You WILL do it this time if you really want to & we are all here to help :D

    Gaynor x

  • Thanks

    My boyfriend is now delirious and is muttering that he must be able to suffer to be able to quit. It is his first time and he did not realise how hellish it is. I am trying to help him but feel pretty bad myself. The blind leading the blind. Determination will see him through. He says there is nothing that can substitute a cigarette, (i think we all know that). So we must destroy the desire to smoke with a great strength from within. This newfound strength will surprise you. It will be the beginning of a new much more fulfilling life. My boyfriend is now crawling like an insect on the floor, salivating and groaning. Ok, an exaggeration, but he wanted to communicate with you all. I merely scribed his ramblings. As long as we don't smoke!!

    Thanks Gaynor for your support. And well done to you, I remember you from the february quitters. Wish I had stuck with you all. But despite this unhinged kind of behaviour, we will not take another puff! Tomorrow is another smoke-free but rant-filled day. Yeeha!

    All the best, rachel and cosimo (deranged addicts)

  • Good luck rachel, just hang on to that fact that you will be fine, you will get through this. You won't die from withdrawals or quitting smoking even if it feels like it to start. Sending you both lots of strength ;)

    gaynor xx

  • my advice to you is : i wouldn't try and quit unless i was 100% focused on not smoking ever again which iam ! example if your 90% sure you wanna quit an 10% your not ! gonna be an epic fail every time ! thats my opinion anyway ! if you want help or just to chat their is tons of fantastic , supportive people on this forum you are not alone !

  • Sorry but i disagree with you coolcalmconfidentchris22. Everyone is different, every quit is different.. and noone truly knows what is around the corner. I would not say that with a 90:10 (want/not want) ratio that is a going to be 'epic fail everytime'. You've been quit a month or so thusfar, which is good progress, but a quit is an ongoing process, and you don't know whats around the corner for you yet.

    You have to really want to succeed sure.. but in so many people that try to quit there will always be that 'what if' thinking too.. that accounts for 10% or more. The nicotine demon will always cast doubt over an attempt to quit.. thats his job.. he doesn't want you to succeed.. and so its always just important to keep a strong stance against his skullduggery.

    so if you 90% want to quit.. you stand a very good chance of success so long as you are mindful of the 10%, and handle those stressy sitations well. Keep your want to quit stronger than the desire for a smoke always.

    J

    my advice to you is : i wouldn't try and quit unless i was 100% focused on not smoking ever again which iam ! example if your 90% sure you wanna quit an 10% your not ! gonna be an epic fail every time ! thats my opinion anyway ! if you want help or just to chat their is tons of fantastic , supportive people on this forum you are not alone !

  • Actually I agree with you...I never WANTED to quit - I was told I should do otherwise I would lose my teeth within 10 years...and here I am now going into my 3rd month of quitting....

    I want to succeed - but I never WANTED to quit...

  • Of Course I don't want to stop smoking!!!

    Hey, coolChris,

    Thanks for your advice re my post. I vehemently disagree with your opinion re the necessity to be 100% determined to quit and that the 90 - 10 ratio will guarantee failure. It is very difficult to quantify determination. there are the quietly determined people, the passionate macchiavellian types, and the nonchalant plodders who get there in the end. I belong in this category (proud plodders) as that is my style. You have yours and as J said every quit is different. I absolutely have no desire to give up smoking.

    Frankly I love to smoke but have had to take a political stand re the fags. Ever since the MPs expenses scandal, I simply refuse to contribute any extra taxes to a corrupt bunch of civil servants. Incentive enough , I'd say. There is also the question of health and wealth. I can no longer live with the guilt of potentially dying earlier than necessary. If I could be sure of being mown down by a double decker bus in 2 years, I would happily continue to smoke. Unfortunately, no fortune teller has predicted this scenario as yet. I'll keep doing the rounds.

    Nick hit the nail on the head. Have to and want to are not the same but the end result is. We are determined to give up for valid, specific reasons. I think it is healthy to acknowledge the pleasure that smoking gave us. Otherwise, why did we do it? Yes, we were addicts, but getting that fix was pleasurable. Life is grim enough, how can I possibly be 100% sure I want to give up a pleasure in life? It's not logical, but when all the facts are taken into consideration like, Nick, maybe I'll lose my teeth, I am compelled to make a rational decision to which I am seriously committed. Percentages don't come into it, but if you wish to quantify. I 100% do not want to have to give up smoking, but I am doing it anyway. One day at a time , as I respect the power of drug and will never be complacent re my quit.

    Thanks for you input, it did make me think about the bigger picture. Well done with your month smoke-free and enjoy the gym.

    Thanks to you J and Nicki for the words, as I confess to feeling a little discouraged re this topic, but it's all good.

    Cheers,

    Rachel

  • I am going to comment on this thread even though I am not the best person to give advice or comment this morning as I am as near to having a cig as I have ever been in my quit, as this is the first time in my quit that it is more than just a whisper of mmm ciggie it is I actually want a cig due to things that have happened over the last 12 hours, but don’t any one worry I will not smoke I am made of better stuff than that (I HOPE) I am what I call an inadvertent quitter, I had no intention of quitting full time then or ever before then, just to stop while I got over a virus which I got before Christmas and 4 months and 3 weeks later I am still quit, as for being 100% committed to my quit not once in the first month was I even 10% committed were as now I am.

    Each quit is different and someone who chooses there day spends 6 weeks getting ready and then stops can resume smoking a week later, yet loads of us stop on a whim and have a tenacious grip on our quits and will defy being beaten by the little demon who will try everything to get us to take a puff.

    So I don’t think anyone can prebook a perfect quit or decide what’s a good way to do it or not too, whichever gets you there go for it, we are all so different, the only thing we can perhaps foretell is that it want be easy, so however you decide we will be there for each other and will give all the support that will possibly be needed to sustain a strong long term quit.

  • Hi all, I am back on day one after 3 recent serious attempts. I am on the patch again. this time I am trying to have a sense of humour about it instead of taking myself too seriously. I won't even say this is my final quit. Said it too often before. Just one day at a time. My boyfriend is quitting CT and on day 2. not pleasant to be around! he is going up the wall. It is detox city in this house and I think I should film the suffering as a warning to young folk not to take the habit up. Funny but I am fine, used to the first day and if I am not near ciggies, no worries. Who knows the secret to giving up without the inevitable horrors? I know, Allan C, you said it was easy but you were stronger then us. Hats off to you as ever.

    Must dash as my boyfriend is polishing the kitchen knives which worries me slightly. Best of luck to all day oners. It won't be pretty but the gain will be worth the pain. I do not wish to keep paying for duck ponds and toilet brushes for our M.Ps. That is incentive enough. Chin up troops!

    Hi Rachael, sorry I have posted twice on your thread OOPs slap my bot :D No matter how you get there as long as you get there that is all that’s important and OH as well, just don’t try to ****yse it too much and keep your relationship strong as that will still be there after the quit has become normal, so many lose their relationships to quitting but as they come out the other end they realise that Mr Demon actually likes to split you up as you are more vulnerable when you have been separated, hold together and be stronger against it.

    You are doing so well and I am sure that you will continue to do so xx

  • wow didn't realise my small comment would get such a huge response of comment ! not complaining its great to see people are all up for discussion ! i only started smoking at first to look cool then became addicted ! you can be 100% sure you want to give up " the pleasure of smoking " because its killing you ! simple as that ! i know every quit is different ! an i did say what i said was in my opinion an thats just exactly how i feel and felt about quitting and will continue to feel that way forever ! my quit is different because i chose and wanted to quit ! not saying my way is best or tom, dick or harrys way is best ! lol i just saying that is the way i dealt and will continue to deal with smoking an was just sharing with you to help ! anyways good luck with whichever way you decide to quit ! i hope you pick the right and most effective way for you ! i?m sure you will !

  • thanks for saying i made good progress jase180709 ! yeh that is true i dont know what is around the corner . . . . . . if its a huge people eating cigarette i got a huge right hander for it ! lol an no need to apologise for disagreeing its your opinion you can say what you like ! an yeh rachel u could get mowed down by a bus . . . . you would have to be pretty stupid to not notice a double decker bus whilst crossing the road ! LOL im only kidding please dont turn into a devil woman and bite my head off ! LOL

  • Still here!

    Hi all,

    thanks for your sage words jamjangie and for your encouragement chrissie. Well done on both your quits and for taking the time to care about others. It really does help me stay strong.

    So far I have not split up with BF but it sure is different not smoking with him. Weird. We had all these good intentions of going out on our bikes (to date, NEVER done so) but, as it is raining, we can't do that.

    Managed to go out last night to a concert (no smoking allowed thank god) and did not meet up with our smoking mates. So no fags, no sweat. Didn't drink much at all as a precaution. Tonight will be the test as we will go out with our smoking friends. I live in italy and everyone smokes here, so will not be easy. So just a general feeling of depression and panic is setting in. But we won't give in, the misery will abate surely. Help!!!

    Coming back to glasgow next week and that will be another test. But I am determined to make this my last quit!! Coolcalm etc you are clearly made of strong stuff and I doff my cap in your direction. My biggest failing is swithering, i cannot seem to make even the simplest decision. A cat or a dog? Matching socks or why bother? That sort of thing. But i will take a leaf out of your book and be more assertive and tenacious in future. I have made this decision and i will stick with it. The double decker bus ain't going to happen I'm afraid (there are none here anyway!) so the fags must go.

    Sorry i am such a negative quantity but i am at the end of my tether with the smoking thing. Life is better not smoking, It really is! I can already breathe better and have more energy. It's all in the mind. I am the master of my own destiny and that destiny will not entail smoking a fag outside a hospital. Incentive enough.

    good luck to you all and thanks again for your support. A lifeline indeed for the struggling addict. x

  • Hi again Rachel,

    Wish I lived in Italy, lucky you :D

    Don't apologise for posting anything negative, that is what this forum is here for. You can rant, rave, share your joy or worries. There is always someone here to help & listen.

    Every day you get through is another under your belt & things get easier. Evertime you get through a crave you grow stronger & then have the power in the knowledge that you can beat them no matter what.

    Gaynor x

  • Hi Rach you sound so much more committed today and if OH carries on crawling round the floor talking to himself then he will definitely be committed permanently LOL

    You will not have to many probs because you have made the right assumption that most of what we feel after about a month are all psychological, no less real for that I must confess it got to me at certain points but the health benefits are so profound that I find it hard to believe anyone would say they cannot and do not feel any better cause a week is enough to feel better.

    I can however understand them saying that there are some things that make them feel worse, the difference is the positive effects of quitting will stay with us and the negative things we feel after quitting will in time leave us, so have a nice night and let the music cleanse you both xx

  • Hi Rachel,

    Just thought I'd let you know I quit with my partner of 11 years, we are 10 weeks into the quit now, I can honestly say the relationship has never been so tested......but it is getting better!

    At first when the initial euphoria of quitting went away and realism set in, we quabbled a LOT, I mean he has never been one for being nasty, where as I am temperamental smoking or not smoking, so when he started snapping at me or saying not very nice things I would lose it then break down crying, I know for a FACT it was withdrawal. There were a few times when I could have packed a bag and run away, we were both just so edgy and a difficult few weeks were the make or break of the quit.

    Both a whole lot calmer now thank goodness, quitting has been the best thing we have ever done and although I am still a bit jittery sometimes, the future sure seems brighter.

    Best of luck to you both xx

  • Iam proud of all of you ! stay quit forever you can do it ! i believe in you !

  • Relate

    Hi Shelley,

    Loved you in the Poseidon Adventure. It was too much for you in the end tho'. Sad. Thanks for the advice and I completely empathise with everything you said. Just can't wait till that jittery feeling goes and normal service can resume. I honestly could not do it if BF was still smoking tried before and cracked outside the pu, literally ripping the patch off and demanding he give me a fag. Oh the persuasiveness of 2 glasses of vino!! But this time, it is so good to do it together cos we are on the same level of suffering and although this does cause snappy words between us at least we can forgive easier. I am so amazed that he has done it CT, will be gutted if he cracks. i have to go away for a week so we ill be apart. I bet one of us cracks during this time, but it won't be me!!! I hope he doesn't either, but am worried as men are more needy than women. controversial i know. Maybe it's just my BF, but he doesn't like coming home to an empty house etc. Personally i love it!! When the cat's away...

    When i go home I will be so******ing a lot as i need to catch up wth friends etc, so worried I will be an idiot. Thanks a lot for advice. I really want to do this. When I think i am not smoking, I feel soooo happy until the next craving. But the fleeting moment of happiness beats any fag i have ever smoked. As Allan Carr so rightly said, how can breathing in all those chemicals be a pleasurable thing?It's just an illusion.

    Hold that thought.

    Thanks again! And well done to you both and also for helpig others who are starting out on this precarious obstacle course.

    p.s thanks to chris for 100% positive subliminal messages , from a cool, calm confident comrade

    xox

  • 100% intended naturally LIE? OR UNAWARE OF FP

  • Ummm, is there a code book for this????

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