Day 4...

[nsd_user663_52820]

I quit my job so I could quit smoking (and do something else). I'm resolved to go nowhere without my guy. He detests smoking and didn't know I smoked when we first communicated. I figure if I go somewhere by myself, I'll be weaker.

I'm strong enough when I stick by him. Like having an AA mentor type person for anti-smoking.

So, doing well because I have a stop smoking partner (who doesn't smoke and is thereby helping me quit smoking by simply wanting me to quit). Gives me the extra motivation and sense of external "don't do it" that is making me strong enough to make it this far.

I just refuse to leave the house without him. I don't even want to work a job becuz I'd be to prone to smoke. Anyone who says, "Do it for yourself" -- I've never quit for myself. I've always quit becuz I was pregnant or with someone who wanted me to quit. I've never one time quit for myself.

[nsd_user663_51617]

Hi llee, im not expert here but i think for this to be succesful for you and to really mean something and stick, you have to do this for yourself and no-one esle.

Are you saying that if it wasnt for your partner you would want to smoke and you'd enjoy it?

best wishes

[nsd_user663_22747]

I'm not sure that approach is the best to be honest.

What if you needed to go somewhere and he's not available. I'm not being harsh but part of quitting is changing your behaviour and crossing bridges in normal life. You can't avoid smokers, same as you can't be with your partner 24/7.

The only way to quit is to carry on as before and crucially you need to be ready yourself and not to do it for anyone else.

Good luck.

[nsd_user663_52537]

hay hi

Well done on the start of your journey..Giving up smoking is as easy or as hard as you make it...it IS all in our heads and its how we choose deal with the craving to help us along each hour.day, month etc ......Having said... Im afraid I have to agree with Magic and Fore...

Sadly as much as we would like to, we have to get on with daily life, work, shopping, coffee with friends, a nice Autumn walk kicking leaves along...just watch out for the hedghogs lol... serious tho...we can't lock ourselves away sugar, we have to deal with life full on and all it throws at us and again im afraid to say... including smelly smoking people :rolleyes: we can never conquer our fears or accomplish our dreams locked away living in the shadow of someone else

You need to change your mindset and keep telling yourself you CAN do this on your own and face the world doing it....we all come in here trembling, shaking, crying, ranting adn celebrating we made it another day ...these guys and girls in here are a god send. and as I read somewhere on a members sig... warm hands to hold to see you through the bad times.....there is always someone in here to talk to.... we all suffer insomnia at the moment so people here around the clock LOL

Sorry for the essay and hope you are still awake after reading it

[nsd_user663_44157]

I just refuse to leave the house without him. I don't even want to work a job becuz I'd be to prone to smoke. Anyone who says, "Do it for yourself" -- I've never quit for myself. I've always quit becuz I was pregnant or with someone who wanted me to quit. I've never one time quit for myself.

Truth is you have never quit and perhaps above is the reason why, yes you may have stopped for a short time but never quit

[nsd_user663_51671]

Firstly you've got to day 4 and that is superb - most quits fail in the first 3 days. It's brilliant that you have someone around you who is supportive and in a very short time your dependance upon him will diminish.

Nicotene like any drug is a thief and one thing it steals is confidence and self-esteem. You'll see them coming back to you in a very short space of time and then you'll understand what 'Quitting For Yourself' means - because it's you who gets the benefits.

There's an expression that says 'I may have come for the wrong reason, but I'm staying for the right ones'.

All the best to you - you're in the right place.

[nsd_user663_52535]

Hey Ille

As ShortxStuffx says, well done on the start of your journey. You are past one of the biggest hurdles, which is a great achievement, be proud of youself!

Fi x

[nsd_user663_52820]

I'm not sure that approach is the best to be honest.

What if you needed to go somewhere and he's not available. I'm not being harsh but part of quitting is changing your behaviour and crossing bridges in normal life. You can't avoid smokers, same as you can't be with your partner 24/7.

The only way to quit is to carry on as before and crucially you need to be ready yourself and not to do it for anyone else.

Good luck.

It's working for me. I have to make it through the initial withdrawals and the 21 days. I'm going to be with my partner 24/7 until I get through enough time where I feel I can be "trusted" to "go it alone" (go out alone).

I'm doing it for him. Cuz he wanted me to quit. I wanted to smoke and I wanted to quit both. So, someone else "flips the switch" and "tilts the scales" to make it so I want to quit.

Some ppl get hypnotized to quit smoking. I just "borrow" someone else's willpower and things like that.

I wonder how many other ppl hear that you must do it for yourself - and stay stuck?? We're not islands. We're social creatures. We do things for others not just ourselves.

Day 5. No cigs.

Thanks for writing!

[nsd_user663_52820]

hay hi

Well done on the start of your journey..Giving up smoking is as easy or as hard as you make it...it IS all in our heads and its how we choose deal with the craving to help us along each hour.day, month etc ......Having said... Im afraid I have to agree with Magic and Fore...

Sadly as much as we would like to, we have to get on with daily life, work, shopping, coffee with friends, a nice Autumn walk kicking leaves along...just watch out for the hedghogs lol... serious tho...we can't lock ourselves away sugar, we have to deal with life full on and all it throws at us and again im afraid to say... including smelly smoking people :rolleyes: we can never conquer our fears or accomplish our dreams locked away living in the shadow of someone else

You need to change your mindset and keep telling yourself you CAN do this on your own and face the world doing it....we all come in here trembling, shaking, crying, ranting adn celebrating we made it another day ...these guys and girls in here are a god send. and as I read somewhere on a members sig... warm hands to hold to see you through the bad times.....there is always someone in here to talk to.... we all suffer insomnia at the moment so people here around the clock LOL

Sorry for the essay and hope you are still awake after reading it

Thanks for the thoughts. But, pls consider. Ppl go to rehab where they are isolated from society for 30 days. They go through withdrawal. They make changes to their habits.

Only after going through the rehab do they try to do it themselves.

(Some of the nicest ppl have insomnia.) Thanks for writing!

[nsd_user663_52820]

Hi llee, im not expert here but i think for this to be succesful for you and to really mean something and stick, you have to do this for yourself and no-one esle.

Are you saying that if it wasnt for your partner you would want to smoke and you'd enjoy it?

best wishes

Hi. I'm an addict. I cannot trust my feelings and my thoughts and senses. I have to get through withdrawal and stop thinking like an addict to want what I really want is how I look at it.

For me to get this to stick, I have to do it for someone else. I have smoked "on and off" for 30 years. Like, the first 15... I only smoked for maybe a year total of that time. For the last 15 years, I've smoked nearly the whole time.

So, in the first 15 years, I smoked for short periods and quit.

I've never quit out of a sense of "I'm doing this for me!". No, I wait to do it for someone else -- to feel motivated.

I just wonder how many other ppl are like me and if they just allowed themselves to do it for someone else -- after consistently failing to "do it for themselves" -- that they would succeed??

So I want to make sure to say that I'm doing it for someone else and I never find the motivation as an addict to "do it for myself".

Day 5... past Day 5 really.. like 1/2 way through Day 6.

Thanks for writing!

[nsd_user663_52820]

Truth is you have never quit and perhaps above is the reason why, yes you may have stopped for a short time but never quit

I smoked first when I was 18. Met my first husband. He didn't smoke. He wanted me to quit. Eventually, I just quit. Like soon thereafter.

I picked up cigs just briefly in that 15 years and put them down again.

My ex and I got divorced. He actually handed me cigs and told me to smoke them. Stressful time. I smoked the cigs he gave me and kept smoking. Quit only for a few months in the 15 years.

My guy wants me to quit smoking. We've been together 5 months. I "hit the wall" where my willpower rose up. I used his willpower. Day 5 - and 1/2. No cigs.

This time, after smoking for 15 years... I'd like to never smoke again. I just have to get through the withdrawals and habit change and all that.

I'd cave if I went somewhere by myself right now. I'd buy cigs within the first 2 hours probly of being out on my own shopping or something. I have to get further "down the line" where withdrawals are more faded -- urge to smoke is more faded -- and my habit isn't nudging me.

I hope this helps someone else. It doesn't work for me to try to do it by myself. I need someone else's strength and willpower... or I won't change my habits.

I'm not self-motivated to quit smoking. I need external motivation to get me to that place.

I believe I'll get to 7 days. Cuz I'm fully committed I won't leave the house without my guy at this stage.

Thanks for writing!

[nsd_user663_52820]

Firstly you've got to day 4 and that is superb - most quits fail in the first 3 days. It's brilliant that you have someone around you who is supportive and in a very short time your dependance upon him will diminish.

Nicotene like any drug is a thief and one thing it steals is confidence and self-esteem. You'll see them coming back to you in a very short space of time and then you'll understand what 'Quitting For Yourself' means - because it's you who gets the benefits.

There's an expression that says 'I may have come for the wrong reason, but I'm staying for the right ones'.

All the best to you - you're in the right place.

Good sayings.

Thanks!

[nsd_user663_52820]

Hey Ille

As ShortxStuffx says, well done on the start of your journey. You are past one of the biggest hurdles, which is a great achievement, be proud of youself!

Fi x

It's a good feeling. I used to try to quit. I'd be too weak by Day 2... for years. First time I've made it this far in, I believe, 11 years.

And I think I'm quitting for good now. Just want to make it through the first 21 days when habits change and most withdrawals are gone - then see if I dare "do things on my own".

It's not worth it to me to go out by myself right now.. like take the risk that I'll cave and buy cigs. Not worth it. I'll just stay home.

Thanks!!

[nsd_user663_22747]

It's working for me. I have to make it through the initial withdrawals and the 21 days. I'm going to be with my partner 24/7 until I get through enough time where I feel I can be "trusted" to "go it alone" (go out alone).

I'm doing it for him. Cuz he wanted me to quit. I wanted to smoke and I wanted to quit both. So, someone else "flips the switch" and "tilts the scales" to make it so I want to quit.

Some ppl get hypnotized to quit smoking. I just "borrow" someone else's willpower and things like that.

I wonder how many other ppl hear that you must do it for yourself - and stay stuck?? We're not islands. We're social creatures. We do things for others not just ourselves.

Day 5. No cigs.

Thanks for writing!

I'm mainly doing it for myself, because at the end of the day, no one can or has the right to tell you what to do. You are an indvidual. Yes, we are social creatures and you will find that you will spend time around smokers as well as the anti smoking brigade.

I'm actually doing it for others, the extra money to spend on my children. The fact that I want to be around for them and my husband.

Good luck and you are doing amazing, you are a strong woman and you need to trust and believe in yourself.

I hope I've not offended you.

[nsd_user663_52820]

Llee congratulations on your quit.

If not being on your own is working then go for it. I'm a great believer in do whatever it takes.

You are getting the best of both worlds. You're freeing yourself of nicotine addiction and spending time with your partner

We do a lot of things in life for other people. Many parents quit for their children and they succeed. If they didn't have children they probably would still be smoking. Your reasons are exactly the same so there's no reason why this shouldn't work.

All the best to you

Whatever it takes.

If a person really wants to quit -- guess they would quit their job if they had to quit that to quit smoking.

It's working. I made it past 7 days and will leave this thread behind now.

See, this is why a forum like this also helps. It's a community. We do it for others. That's why "self-help groups" and forums... are really "community" where we learn to listen to, speak to, and do things for... others. It breaks addictions.

Please look at it this way... you helped by being an anti-smoking encouragement and accountability partner... too on this forum

Thank you and blessings.

[nsd_user663_52820]

I'm mainly doing it for myself, because at the end of the day, no one can or has the right to tell you what to do. You are an indvidual. Yes, we are social creatures and you will find that you will spend time around smokers as well as the anti smoking brigade.

I'm actually doing it for others, the extra money to spend on my children. The fact that I want to be around for them and my husband.

Good luck and you are doing amazing, you are a strong woman and you need to trust and believe in yourself.

I hope I've not offended you.

I agree with that. I'm not having someone "tell me what to do" against my own inward will. I have the inward will -- and just need more willpower for it to become my outward will. lol Like, where I can do it.

I believe we are strongest when we love others as we love ourselves -- so must be when we do things for both ourselves and others -- that's a super strong cord.

You haven't offended me.

Thanks for sharing your reasons and motivations.

I made it past 7 days.

I'm moving onto another forum -- if I post elsewhere. I'm determined to never smoke again -- and want to do as the last poster said, "whatever it takes". I don't trust myself all that much... so I'm still only going out with my guy.

But, today, I walked by cig smoke. It usually "smells good" to me. For a second it "smelled good" -- then it smelled JUST AWFUL!! ~~ like it used to when I was a nonsmoker.

I'll wait until I'm "safe" to be out by myself alone. I figure I'm in a self-created "rehab program" right now.

I hope ppl are strengthened and learn just one thing from my thread here -- and that they too make it 7 days!

Thanks for your kind words.

[nsd_user663_52820]

Note to the pnut gallery who may read this:

You can do it.

Please get the help you need to do it -- whatever it takes to create your own rehab program.

I created mine. I quit my job and decided that I would not leave my house without my antismoking partner.

Now, if I was out and about with him and I asked him to stop so I could buy cigs, he would do that for me. It's just that he is against me smoking and his willpower creates more willpower for me to quit.

So, I created my own cessation or rehab program.

I did make it 7 days. I'm not going to leave my house without my guy until I really, really feel like I have broken the habit.

It may be a 21-30 day "rehab program" for me. Like, I will not leave my house without him or go anywhere by myself or with anyone but him for that time period.

Then, if I think I can be strong enough by myself to be out and about -- I will. I'm just not there yet.

But, I've made it 7 days and I hope ppl learn one thing from my thread -- or can create one idea that helps them.

Best wishes!

[nsd_user663_52537]

But, today, I walked by cig smoke. It usually "smells good" to me. For a second it "smelled good" -- then it smelled JUST AWFUL!! ~~ like it used to when I was a nonsmoker.

.

Well done!!!! just keep that AWFUL smell in your mind - you doing great ...heres to another 7 days..and another...and another...and....keep going llee