Yes im still here but finding it very difficult as the mood swings and emotional side of me has its grip on me cry baby cry. Im sick to death of being like this please dont tell me it will pass because i dont believe it will for a long time yet. I have no positives left. Life for me is at the bottom of the barrel the gregs of shit sorry but thats the only way i can describe how im feeling. Yes in a nutshell manic depression and although having that one fag which i had truthfully puts me back to the beginning of a quit. And im in no hurry to climb back on the wagon at this moment in time. When i do and get myself sorted with my psychiatrist and my appt with the emotional wellbeing on 8th may hopefully i will begin again. I know what i said to others about not having that one fag. But you only know me as Fleetwood and not as me personally i have many serious issues with my wellbeing. So till next time. Thanks for reading. Jacqui