Day 3! (cheating a bit...)

Hi guys. I've been here before but I'm ready to have a serious go again and it worked really well last time so I thought I'd come back.

I'm currently on day 3 - cold turkey.

1st 2 days were actually not too bad. I've "quit" smoking so many times and can usually manage day 1, but day 2 is always the killer. Anyway, I'd already decide Monday was my quit day, but I woke up with the most dreadful cold that I probably couldn't have smoked even if I wanted to!

So here I am. Now, I am cheating a bit because I've just had a cig, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm still quitting, and this is my third day. But I'm trying a new approach and telling myself that if I am really desperate for one, I can have one and it's definately taken the pressure off and left me in a better mood than normal. Also, meaning I haven't failed after having one cig is definately going to benefit my quit in the long run as it'll be harder to give up giving up and I'm less likely to just go out and smoke 20 fags at once and then start again!

I have a night out this week which I have to go to (stag do) and I'm probably going to smoke then anyway. After that, I plan on being much more rigid and telling myself I can only have one cig a week. Then hopefully, just cut them out altogether.

This is my last go with willpower. If I don't manage it this time, I'm going to try the Champix but I'd rather not resort to that!

30 Replies

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  • Hi Tyler, welcome. I couldn't do what you are doing, that would be torture for me. I could never allow myself just one because that is how I started smoking again. I hope this method works for you, good luck:D

  • Now, I am cheating a bit because I've just had a cig, but as far as I'm concerned, I'm still quitting, and this is my third day. But I'm trying a new approach and telling myself that if I am really desperate for one, I can have one and it's definately taken the pressure off and left me in a better mood than normal.

    Also, meaning I haven't failed after having one cig is definately going to benefit my quit in the long run as it'll be harder to give up giving up and I'm less likely to just go out and smoke 20 fags at once and then start again!

    I have a night out this week which I have to go to (stag do) and I'm probably going to smoke then anyway. After that, I plan on being much more rigid and telling myself I can only have one cig a week. Then hopefully, just cut them out altogether.

    With all due respect, and speaking as one who's done exactly what you're doing in some of my previous quits (and failing at them), and speaking as someone who wants you to succeed, I'll just say this:

    You're setting yourself up for failure.

    As long as you're still smoking, whether it's one a day, one a week, or one every once in a while, you're still smoking.

    I would implore you to rethink your strategy, and quit smoking completely, once and for all, and get it over with, and stop telling yourself you can have one every so often. One will lead to two, and two will lead to several, and several will lead to a pack, and a pack will lead to several more years smoking.

    How do I know? I was you, and I'm now on my third and final quit.

  • Thanks!

    I've tried every other way possible and I always end up crashing and burning and smoking about 40 fags because I've decided I've failed and there's no point.

    So this might be the way to go. :)

    Plus there will be a lot of smokers at the stag do so I'm better off being realistic! And I'm sick of finding reasons to put it off...

    What's your chosen method?

  • Thanks!

    I've tried every other way possible and I always end up crashing and burning and smoking about 40 fags because I've decided I've failed and there's no point.

    So this might be the way to go. :)

    Plus there will be a lot of smokers at the stag do so I'm better off being realistic! And I'm sick of finding reasons to put it off...

    What's your chosen method?

    My method is Cold Turkey, but YMMV. You have to choose what works for you. That said, NO METHOD will work until you are ready to make it work. If you've decided "there's no point," then guess what - you'll fail.

    Quitting smoking (in my opinion) has much more to do with turning something around in your brain than anything else. Unless and until you do that, you're right - you're just fooling yourself until something comes along that's seductive enough a trigger to allow you to give yourself permission to fail. And then you smoke, and then you say, "See? I knew I would fail."

  • With all due respect, and speaking as one who's done exactly what you're doing in some of my previous quits (and failing at them), and speaking as someone who wants you to succeed, I'll just say this:

    You're setting yourself up for failure.

    As long as you're still smoking, whether it's one a day, one a week, or one every once in a while, you're still smoking.

    I would implore you to rethink your strategy, and quit smoking completely, once and for all, and get it over with, and stop telling yourself you can have one every so often. One will lead to two, and two will lead to several, and several will lead to a pack, and a pack will lead to several more years smoking.

    How do I know? I was you, and I'm now on my third and final quit.

    Just the sort of support I'm looking for, thanks! :D

    I've put a lot of thought into this. It's not a permanent strategy and I am on my 11th quit so I've learned a fair bit. Not only about smoking etc... but about myself. And yeah, I'm still smoking but I've had 29 less than I normally would have had. Over a week, if I average at one cig every 2.5 days that's less than three cigs a week as opposed to 84.

    I also suffer from anxiety which is the main reason I smoke. I've used it as a crutch since the age of 14. When I've quite before I've had panic attacks etc because I couldn't cope. I think the most important thing for myself is to stop using them as a crutch and replace them with something else whilst taking off the pressure.

    I'm willing to be open about it and see how it goes. This way worked for my dad so it might work for me. But if it doesn't, I can add it up to experience.

  • I agree with DGee, I was really struggling last week and was thinking just one.....the lovely Mr Capitan gave me the Allan carr link, I read it.....read it again.....gave myself a talking to and I came through it without caving in. I suppose I changed the way I was thinking and I feel soooooo much better now, I am finding it a lot easier.:D

  • Welcome Tyler, I have one question..

    Be totally honest, how many do you think you'll end up smoking during the stag night?

  • Welcome Tyler, I have one question..

    Be totally honest, how many do you think you'll end up smoking during the stag night?

    Being completely honest, I'd say between three and five. I'm not a heavy smoker.

  • Being completely honest, I'd say between three and five. I'm not a heavy smoker.

    Problem with this is, what about the next stag night? Party? etc... You can find any reason to smoke, I always tried to justify it but really you are just kidding yourself - sounds harsh but in my opinion it's either all or nothing.

    Just one cig makes you a smoker, the first week will be hard but it's worth it to be free again.

    On the upside i've saved £226 in 4 weeks :D

    I was a chain smoker so if I can do it anyone can!!

    Good luck,

    Denise :)

  • Hi Tyler,

    I think you are fooling yourself (or rather being fooled by the addict in you).

    I think there are many folks here like you with umpteen quits under their belts and yes you do learn a bit more as you go. But what I've learnt from being on this site is that once a smoker, always a smoker and the best we can hope for is that each time temptation crosses our path we realise our addiction and don't give it the time of day.

    Have you tried electronic cigs? Might be just the thing to wean you off the tobacco ones. They are real enough to give you a nico rush if you really need it but not real enough to get addicted. I bought some as a back-up and it's good to know they are there and have probably had about 15 puffs during my 4 week quit. Problem with cigarettes is that sooner or later you will buy a packet and before you know it the packet is empty ... and so is your resolve.

    Good luck

    Suze

  • Look, I get where you're all coming from but forgive me for saying you're all being a bit sanctimonious! I've said why I'm quitting the way I'm quitting; it would be nice to just get some support instead of being told I'm about to fail.

    I've already tried 11 times. Each of those times I have managed over a week. One of those was 8 months and most of them lasted 5 weeks.

    This is the only way I haven't tried.

    And it's not permanent. It's until after the stag do! I'm not going to set myself up for failure by saying I'm never smoking another cig again then lighting up on the stag do and think "oh well, I've failed now,might as well buy a 20 deck" and not trying another quit for another few months. I'm also not going to put it off.

    Like I said, it worked for my dad. It has worked for a couple of my friends. It could work for me. Just let me find out for myself instead of telling me I'm doomed.

    If I wasn't so stubborn, after reading those, I'd have just gone out and bought a pack of fags and smoked every last one of them.

  • sorry Tyler, but you did ask ;)

  • What's your chosen method?

    Swedish Snus :D

    Somehow I think that one will live forever.

    Seriously, complete abstinence backed by total faith that I want nothing more to do with being a slave to something that is slowly killling me.

    Alex.

  • sorry Tyler, but you did ask ;)

    Did I? Don't recall that...

  • Did I? Don't recall that...

    Hi Tyler

    By posting on this type of forum you are automatically inviting comments. Unfortunately they may not always be what you want to hear.

    I am sure everyone on here wishes you well and wants you to suceed. The people on here are only sharing there experience and opinions based on those experiences. The only right way to stop is the way that works for you and I really hope this is the right way for you.

    Stay positive and give it everything you've got. Good luck

  • the intermitent smoking just aint gonna work if i were you i would just go get the champix cause this have one a week and 3-5 at the stag do is just torturing yourself and the champix will give you a couple of weeks of smoking before you quit for good so you can fit in the occasions you need to then quit and it may give you the couple of weeks you need to get your head in the right frame of mind

    boo

  • If all you want is to hear a group of people who are quitting smoking to tell you that sure, it's okay to have one or two while you're quitting, then you're going to be quite disappointed.

    No one would give you the courtesy of taking time from their day to put a few words on the monitor in response to your original post IF they didn't want you to succeed. To be irritated with them is misplaced.

    But hey - knock yourself out. Smoke 'em if you got 'em. If that works for you, more power to you.

    Just don't expect a bunch of us to endorse that method, because for us, it's a recipe to fail. And if you don't want our opinions, don't post. Problem solved.

  • Oh Tyler,

    I do so wish you well. I see we joined this site at about the same time and neither of us are properly quit. Believe me, if I could smoke one or two cigs a day I would go for it, and even if I could smoke two cigs on a Saturday night I would defo go for it lol!!!! But I have learned the hard way that we, or this addict (me) can't. I don't even remember the excuse I used for the 'just one' last time, other than that I wanted to hurt myself in some way, and I did. Okay, so the smoking didn't take off big time straight away, but today I have smoked nearly 30 which I don't want to do. And I blamed it all on my puta for arsing around, yeah right, who was arsing around???? No prizes for guessing it was me lol :rolleyes:

    I think we all think that 'yeah, maybe I could be the one to have just one occasionally', yeah right. My 'just ones' start as a pack of 10 cos of course I'm not going back to full time smoking :eek: But for us addicts it looks like thats the way the cookie crumbles.

    Sorry to rant, I don't want to be a hypocrite cos I have smoked too, and believe me I am so frustrated with myself, so as soon as I get my head in gear, *do I need a plumber for that yes probably lol*, but I will know that the 'just one' malarky don't work for me. Dunno what method I will use yet, probably madness :D lol!!!!

    All the best Tyler,

    Zoe xxxx

  • I quit smoking years ago for quite a long time, I say quit, well i was mostly quit. i used to smoke one at xmas, well 10 really if im onest, but i ONLY intended to smoke one and i only enjoyed the one,,, oh and there was the odd one at new yrs eve. and then i just had to have a couple on new years day. and then one or two onthe first day back at work its the stress. I would always quit at the end of the xmas new year malarky , i say quit but there wouldnt have been any point cos i was going to a funeral and i knew id smoke there , so i planned my qit for easter but kept one just in case, u know ,cos easter mondays always a bad day........ anyway i carried on like that till a mate of mine said Pwooaar Mike you ...kin stink, i thought youd quit.........so i did...end of .... no exclusion zone ones.... if thats your plan then it stinks....end of.......

    Mashx

  • Tyler, I do feel for you. And I've done what you're doing now. Maybe it will work for you, but it certainly didn't work for me. The cigarettes I was denying myself were something of an obsession, I was constantly thinking of when I could allow myself the next one, and the next one... and I kept finding excuses to smoke, and it crept up and up.

    Don't be hurt by the responses on here. We all want everyone on the site to succeed! And many of us have gone down the 'occasional fag' route and found it to be less than helpful. So the comments don't agree with your decision, but they are trying to be supportive.

    As DGee says, it takes an internal change, a restructuring of the mind, to be able to properly quit. It's an elusive thing. I hope you find it soon, and make the decision not to feed the beast. Ever.

    Until then, you must do what is right for you.

    Helen

  • Hi Tyler

    i know afew people that has done what your doing some have succeeded like your dad by cutting them down gradualy others have been drawn back into smoking:eek:

    its your quit so if you feel thats the way you will do this then carry on each to there own at the end of the day

    but you have to decide at some point enough is enough and stop smoking all together

    then you wilbe truely free from being controlled by a white addictive harmful stick

    onwards and upwards is the way to go :)

    regards

    Carol

  • Apparently Tyler's method is also known as the 'taper method'. I found this information from a site that provides basic info on '10 Ways to Quit Smoking' - linked in that title.

    Here's the salient paragraph:

    "Some smokers have quit successfully by cutting down gradually (also known as the taper method).

    For example, you might start by cutting down to five cigarettes a day or less or delaying the first cigarette by an hour each day. Eventually however, a point must be reached where smoking is stopped altogether (as in the cold turkey method above).

    If this approach is to work for you it is suggested that your final quit date is no more than two weeks after you start cutting down. Nicotine replacement therapy (mentioned above) may also be an option to consider as part of any such plan."

    Whilst we all quit uniquely to ourselves there is a broad conscensus in ways that suggest being more successful than others. Perhaps the important factor in this method is the suggestion highlighted in bold above.

    Whatever, good luck with your method Tyler :)

    Cav

  • Tyler,

    Bottom line is you will fail - You have already failed 10 times so unlikely this method is going to work.

    However good luck with it.

  • Here's the salient paragraph:

    "Some smokers have quit successfully by cutting down gradually (also known as the taper method).

    For example, you might start by cutting down to five cigarettes a day or less or delaying the first cigarette by an hour each day. Eventually however, a point must be reached where smoking is stopped altogether (as in the cold turkey method above).

    If this approach is to work for you it is suggested that your final quit date is no more than two weeks after you start cutting down. Nicotine replacement therapy (mentioned above) may also be an option to consider as part of any such plan."

    This isn't a quit method, it is 2 weeks of torture followed by quitting, why not cut out the torture and just quit?

  • This isn't a quit method, it is 2 weeks of torture followed by quitting, why not cut out the torture and just quit?

    I know, you know, many others also know...but Tyler seems steadfast in his approach.

    My thoughts were that if the 'Taper Method' is his chosen path then he gets some positive support and advice...as he has requested. Extrapolating that further, if he fails then he would be more likely to revisit here and gather some sterling advice to launch him towards a more 'traditional' method and hopefully the successful goal. If he just receives advice that puts his back up, as he's indicated is indeed the case, then he's gonna take a lot longer to turn this around.

  • Hi Tyler .sorry. i got hold of the wrong end of the stick. i guess u mean you will quit smoking after your stag do and in the meantime reduce them. all the best with your quit when u finally do it.

    Mash

  • Why would you 'stop' smoking before the stag do if you plan to smoke on that night :confused: All you're doing is making the fags seem more special.

    Allen Carr's book (easyway to stop smoking),someone else mentioned it but I'll second it coz it's BRILLIANT.

    Also mentioned before, you really need to shift how you think about fags otherwise you're always gonna be feeling like you've been deprived of something precious. This has been the biggest difference for me this time.

    all the best

  • Aids to Quitting

    Apparently Tyler's method is also known as the 'taper method'. I found this information from a site that provides basic info on '10 Ways to Quit Smoking' - linked in that title.

    Here's the salient paragraph:

    "Some smokers have quit successfully by cutting down gradually (also known as the taper method).

    For example, you might start by cutting down to five cigarettes a day or less or delaying the first cigarette by an hour each day. Eventually however, a point must be reached where smoking is stopped altogether (as in the cold turkey method above).

    If this approach is to work for you it is suggested that your final quit date is no more than two weeks after you start cutting down. Nicotine replacement therapy (mentioned above) may also be an option to consider as part of any such plan."

    Whilst we all quit uniquely to ourselves there is a broad conscensus in ways that suggest being more successful than others. Perhaps the important factor in this method is the suggestion highlighted in bold above.

    Whatever, good luck with your method Tyler :)

    Cav

    Good Evening Tyler I thoroughly endorse Calvalier's words of wisdom. I became smoke free some 83/84 days ago with the aid of N.R.T. and Smoking Cessation classes. On these courses they set markers for a quit date with the advice that you try and remain nicotine free in the lead up to that date but that's not obligatory. However abstainance is required after the Quit date.

    I think I noticed you live in the Edinburgh area, here in Glasgow the courses are run by the local health board in conjunction with The British Heart Foundation Smoke Free Communities Services so I would surmise that the local health board in Edinburgh do the same. Perhaps you would like to investigate further they definitley helped me.

    Regards and best Wishes

    Michael (Glasgow) a.k.a:-lefoy123

  • Why would you 'stop' smoking before the stag do if you plan to smoke on that night :confused: All you're doing is making the fags seem more special.

    I totally agree with this statement. Sounds like you're putting the fags on pedestal and feeling cheated that you'll have to give them up... preferably forever!

    I advocate continuing to smoke until you feel ready to stop. In fact, I go as far as to say that if you have set your quit date to the 15th, and on the morning of the 15th you're not ready, well just smoke and set another quit date (not too far in the future :D). Repeat the process as many times as you need to until you do feel good about quitting.

    Similarly, if you fail your quit first time around, don't beat yourself, but instead smoke again until you feel ready to start all over (unless you have the strength to start over the very next day).

    I think the worst damage you can do to yourself is to start putting "fuzzy" boundaries around the quit process. Either you smoke or you don't.

    That's not to say I don't believe in tapering (I simply don't know), but whatever you do, don't fool yourself into the trap of just smoking a bit is not really smoking. When you get down to day zero, the whole quit smoking process will kick off just the same way as if you had smoked 20 the day before.

    Good luck.

    Alex.

  • hey you know what, it does work for some people being a casual smoker. my brother went from being 20 a day, to when i fancy one whether than 10 in a hour or 1 a month, he can pick it up and put it down.

    i would suggest that if you have tried 11 times to quit (and so have i...about 20 i reckon) then you are not one of these people.

    i took me ages to work out that i had to be either smoking or not smoking, i cant do middle ground, and infact i cant with anything! im an extreme person.

    i reckon if this is how your feeling. your not ready. and dont punish yourself for it, smoke at your stag. and smoke again. one day it will hit you again that it actuakly is quite horriable and you'll quit again.

    me, i waited till a night of crying because i was forcing myself to do something i actualy didnt want to because i was scared of failing....now im trying again..i dunno if ill fail...we will see.

    good luck xx

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