Day 1: A Rather Strange Odyssey

OK. So, I woke-up this morning at 6 a.m. Pretty much straight away, I wanted a cigarette. No surprise there; for the last 20 years or so, this has always been the very first thing I looked forward to when opening my eyes. I made myself a cup of green tea and sipped away at that instead. Then I fired-up the lap-top and read the news. I took a shower next, visited the bathroom, brushed my teeth, then went back downstairs. I got dressed, and made sure I had everthing everything ready for work. I had about 30 minites to kill before leaving the house and walking to the bus stop. Normally, I'd be in a rush. But this morning, I'd managed to get everything done without having to sit down and smoke several times. I would probably have smoked at least three cigarettes by now. Maybe four. And at least other one while waiting for the bus.

On the bus, I was wondering what it was going to be like. My first day at work smoke-free! My God, was I really going to do this?!

The bus stopped in town, and I got off -- passing by the newsagents where I'd very often top-up my nicotine supply -- and on towards the office -- minus a cigarette in hand. I stopped outside the office, where I'd normally light-up yet another stick, and started munching away on an apple I'd grabbed before I left home.

Between waking-up and getting to my desk I would normally have smoked around seven -- yes, seven! -- super-kingsize cigarettes.

By the start of my shift, I didn't suffer too much from any cravings -- I'd used my nicotine mouthspray to help quash them befor I left home.

The next ten hours were quite the adventure. The strangest thing was finding something to do on my first break -- for ALL of my working life, breaks were MADE for smoking. What else can you do in just fifteen minites of free time? It was so odd. I couldn't think of anything, so I went for a brief stroll and watched the clock. I watched and watched as those precious seconds of smoking time ticked away. This was quite difficult. But not as bad as I thought it would be. Then is was over. Back to work. Phew.

Then it started. The depression. Deep and dark. Getting deeper and darker. I wasn't craving, or if I was, I didn't notice it so much under the awful cloud. Then I'd get the odd strong craving here on then. Sprayed, again and quashed them. Then it was dinner time.

I still felt quit dreadful over lunch, but the cravings weren't too bad. Then the oddest thing happened. Before my last break, at around 4 p.m. I started to feel unexplainably jolly. I was in a really good mood. And I had no control over this whatsoever. And I felt as though my I'd smoked a cigarette. Odd, I know, but it's the only way I can describe it. No craving. None. And a complete mood-swing. And this lasted until the end of my working day. I even spent my last break sitting and chatting with a colleage without the slightest thought of needing a smoke. How utterly bizarre!

During lunch and break times, I'd normally have smoked another seven cigarettes. I would have smoked another one walking to the bus stop, another while waiting for the bus -- perhaps several if the bus was late -- and another one while walking home. Then I'd sit down and pretty much smoke until bedtime. But not today. It's now 9 p.m. And I'm doing fine. No real cravings to speek of really -- just the odd 'jolt' here or there; the odd fancy. Nothing too terrible at all.

My first smoke-free day in a very, VERY long time. I did it! I -- DID -- IT!

I was expecting to have an urge to smoke consistantly throughout the day. I was expecting these urges to increase at some points to unbearable levels, but then return to a constant nagging. I was expecting this cycle to repeat over and over again. In short, I was expecting hell. But it wasn't. It wasn't that hard at all.

Instead, I had my share of cravings, only one or two of them were quite strong. But I had long periods with no cravings at all. An I really wasn't expecting it to be like that. I was heavy smoker, and it doesn't make sense. Any thoughts? And thoughs mood-swings -- what the heck were they all about?!

Well, tomorrow is a new day. Perhaps it'll start to get harder from now on? Let's see how it goes. Today, however, is a done deal. :D

4 Replies

  • YAY!!! Thats absolutely awesome... Day1 - HA! *runs around room waving arms in the air*... I'm so happy for you...

    It is really odd, it is like something just clicks inside that says no - I dont want to smoke... Sure the cravings are there on occassions and creep up on you, but as more time passes it becomes so much easier to just brush them aside... Now you've saturday next... Dont worry about the "weekend" as a whole" - one day at a time...

    I swear I was welling up when I read your post and my spine tingled when I read your line "My God, was I really going to do this?!" and again when you declared loudly and proudly "I DID IT" - Yes you did and with complete style and class...

    I am sat here after my work do (sloped away early) and I cant help but smile - Day1, done and dusted... *throws Day2 up in the air and watches for you to bat it out of the park*

    Good Luck with tomorrow *skips happily away whistling*

  • Well it just goes to show there's no predicting where a quit will take you! It's always a rollercoaster.

    SO pleased you got through the first day. Keep approaching each new day with your head held high, and keep taking it one day at a time. There'll be tough ones, no doubt, but you KNOW you can get through them. After all, it's only a day. And now you know you can do a day, no wucking furries!

    Big huge pat on the back for the legs. Which sounds odd. But you know what I mean. :D


  • Oh legs so so so so so proud of you!!! :D

  • :):):) Fabulous news Legs eleven, their will always be ups and downs. Good luck for the next day and .. keep posting.



    N.O.P.E group

    Live long and prosper.

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