Beware external triggers

Hi all,

Well after 5 weeks of not smoking I am by now aware of my internal triggers, I won't list them as we all have mostly the same ones. But what I was not aware of is just how fragile I still am if someone upsets me or does me an injustice, and I have had a serious wake-up call in the last couple of days, and it left me really shaken. Looking back at it the incident seems a bit petty, but this is what happened. The other night I went out to top up my electricity key as I have one of those pre-payment meters. I paid with my debit card and the transaction went through.

But then the cashier said she had rung it up on the PayPoint machine as cash by mistake and so she was going to refund my card, and she said I had to draw money out of the cash machine and give it to her. Which would have been all very well, but when I checked my balance, the refund had not gone through, a debit had been made,and as far as I was concerned I had paid for my electricity and more!! So I refused to withdraw money,

cos I thought she was on the fiddle as you do in these days of debit card fraud, and so it all turned into a bit of a ding-dong. I made a grab for the key, she said if I left the shop with the key they would process it further although when questioned she couldn't explain what 'processing it further' meant. I now see this as threatening behaviour, after all,

she was the one who pressed the wrong button!! I said I wanted to go home and check my online balance so she said I had to be back by 7pm with the money. The refund still wasn't there but I gave her the money anyway. The next day the refund still wasn't in my account so I went to the bank and the lady in there said I shouldn't have given the cash as it was the cashiers

error and not mine. So back to the shop, another ding-dong this time involving the manager and a call to their head office, who shamelessly blamed everything on the PayPoint machine and told me it could take up to ten working days for me to get my money back huh???? I have

very little money at the moment and tend to live from hand to mouth, which is why I was so upset, but I still had enough for 10 cigs and boy was it close!! I was so angry, partly from the disgusting customer service, and also because I was mad at myself for letting someone walk all over me when I had done nothing wrong!! How I didn't smoke yesterday I really do not know, cos I was beyond rational thought, craving as though I was back in Day 1, and inconsolable. I woke up this morning, and even though the money was finally back in my account I still felt as though I had been hit by a truck and felt physically and mentally drained. I still haven't eaten today

either, but will rectify that soon bigtime!! And no, I didn't smoke. But it was the closest I have been for quite a while now. So please, everyone, no matter what anyone does to you or how much they hurt you don't let it do to you what it did to me!! It's not worth it. We have all come so far. Sorry for the length of this post, and sorry if it sounds stupid, but I had to

get it off my chest, know what I mean??



16 Replies

  • Hi Zoe,

    Glad you stayed strong, I guess as you say we all have to keep our guard up cause the slippery ole' nico demon can strike at anytime :mad:

    I also agree that you have to be careful with debit/credit cards these days, I went into a petrol station yesterday evening near my sons uni (liverpool) and they would only allow me to 'pre-pay' for fuel....when I went into the counter the guy asked for me to 'leave my card' with him whilst I put fuel in the car :eek:

    I told him to ahem*... off ... cause if he didn't trust me to pay, why should I trust him with my card...:D (I was just being ackward really) in the end he gave in and let me put the fuel in first and then go back and

    Don't let the ******** get you down, stay strong cause yer doin ACE !



  • hey zoe

    hi zoe I've got one of those pre payment meters too. i think we pay way more for our power with these things . anyway well done for staying off the smokes while under such tension . best wishes to you .

  • Thanks guys,

    And pfaber, don't those prepayment things suck???? Only ended up with one cos of faulty heater which housing association would not take liability for.:mad:In spite of dodgy repairman more:mad: But if they think they can drive me back to smoking they canx[x[jggjgrgrggggojrglg#:D


  • Hiya Zoe

    I think its part of the criteria to get a job in a garage now....A) How rude can you be and B) How much disinterest in your customer can your face portray.

    I think you have shown wonderful patience because I for one would have had to be dragged out of the place, I would have had the police involved everything...patience is not one of my greatest virtues.

    BUT on the other had, you didnt succumb to the weed and you didnt kill anyone.

    You have the strength just hold on to that and of course plan your revenge :D

    Lillie xx

  • Hey lillie, it wasn't a garage, I had a job on M6 for 2 years and never treated peeps the way I was treated:mad:

    and of course plan your revenge

    Got that planned don't worry, tell ya in da group yahaha:D

    Zoe xx

  • Well done

    Glad you survived a crappy day...bloody A-hole. Thanks for the forget when you've done so well in giving up that something out of the blue could just unhinge you to start smoking again. This happened to me last time...I gotta start thinking of a plan for when this'll happen to me. Cheers Zoemac. XX

  • Hey Lisa,

    My advice.... buy a gun and say I WILL FIRE :eek: Oops, I probably banned now.... sorry mods hrm erm stress and all that :o


  • Heheh I wish there was a "like" button (similar on Facebook) as I definately like your last post.

  • Oh oh did well not to go and buy those 10 fags. Stress, stupid unnecessary stress. I don't think you can plan for those things...they hit you out of the blue when you're tripping along quite nicely.

    Nobody and nothing can drive you back to smoking.


    You take it easy now. And eat something!


    ps..I want to hear details of planned revenge. I can't figure how to get into the group thing. I did once...more by accident!

  • entry to group for Lizzie

    hey Lizzie,

    go to the top of the page where it says quik links, that drops down and choose social groups. That will take you to a page that shows your groups, click on the group you want to go into a voila youre there.

    Lillie xx

  • Are you referring to the October 2011 Group thing??? I can post a link if you then only have to hit the join button on the group screen.

  • heheh lillie's too fast....ker-ching

  • Noooo:eek: We want Lizzie in Quit Crew 2011:eek: Then she can laugh at Dragon's baby pic tee hee:D:p


  • money matters...

    hi Zoe,

    From your note;

    I have very little money at the moment and tend to live from hand to mouth, which is why I was so upset, but I still had enough for 10 cigs and boy was it close!!

    You made the right decision, you did not smoke!

    Let's put it this way; if you chose to smoke for a 25 years period, pack a day, I'd advise you to calculate the cost of smoking, which is at least 50k's...

    plus the hospital, doctor, treatment, medicine expenses that might add up...


  • Well done for not giving the scrotes the satisfaction of making you go all the way back to day 1..

    I really hate those sorts of people. I've recently had a similar row about my blown up led tv, but that's for another time. I've learnt to smile politely at people like that, and let the seething stay under the surface!! Well done you though for still being here!!

  • Thanks Quittime, Barney and Una:D

    It was really awful to be that close to smoking and it was as if everything I had learned over the past few weeks had gone out of my head, including my reasons to quit:( I'm going to re-read Allen Carr to try and get my positivity back;)


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