So many triggers this weekend, all adding up, I guess.
At midnight tonight it would have been 17 days but I've got home from work tonight and had a couple of the wife's fags. Why? Damned if I know.
I'm now seriously peed off with myself. I don't feel any better, I worry about my chest in the morning and I just feel soooooooo stupid.
AAaaargggh!
I had every intention of posting a...
"Hey, I'm doing well, no great worries, not wanting to smoke, etc..."
...type post tonight, but it was not to be.
It's been such a busy weekend for triggers. Last home rugby match of the season. Out for a meal. DIY. Fitting new Dishwasher. Fitting new Oven. Picking up new (to me) car. And I got through everything.
And in the last half-hour, I've been lazy...
Bollox
I'm going to bed...
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When I think I want a cigarette, I have a little 'word' with myself. I can get anxious and succumb to a craving by having a cigarette and feel shite about myself or I can deal with the craving, refuse to smoke and feel shite about myself. Same anxiety but one is definatley better than the other... I will let you decide
I've been trying to rationalise why I had the two fags last night and I just can't. The wife's smokes have been available every evening since I quit but I've just ignored them so what was different on Monday night?
The good Captain says that there have been a few of us who have been posting about "failing" in recent days and he is right. I wonder if the ole subconscious had taken this in and said to me, "you know, they've had a cigarette, why don't you?" And then in a weak moment, I did! Could be, might be, I don't really know but I guess it's possible.
Anyway, I'm putting it down to a blip. I've been in a smoking environment today and will be again at work this evening but I have no wish to smoke. I've been to the shops and seen the rows and rows of tabs on offer to buy should I decide to do so. But, you know what? I don't.
Pappy - you have 17 days of breaking your normal triggers. You just need to do your 3 days of getting rid of the nicotine from your system again - which will be hard and unplesant, but you shouldn't throw away the work you've already done. You've probably broken some triggers already (first one in the car on the morning/coffee break at work).
Same here - twas my husbands birthday over the bank holiday and we were out all day Sunday. Had a couple of his smokes, can't say I particulary enjoyed them.
Not going to beat myself up, just a blip. Not had any since Sunday night, don't intend to have anymore. I am not a dirty smoker anymore!!!
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