IM scared.HELP

:eek:Im playing awaiting game at the moment . an old friend is dying in a hospice. hes very close to the end and out of pain but still here if you know what imean. iv been receiving updates regularly but its torture, it so reminds me of quitting smoking. that stuck in limbo just before you take the plunge. anyway thats where i am and its horrible and the thought of smoking is very strong. anything to take my mind off it but nothing will. smoking wont change a thing, iv just got to sit this one out there is no escape. I needed to say this and need your support to stay with this quit ,

Mash

27 Replies

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  • I know this is horrible but put an image in your mind of yourself waiting to die because you started smoking again. Think of your family and friends being where you are now and wondering why you killed yourself by smoking when you had worked so hard to give it up.

    YOU keep strong mash

    Remember the strength that got you this far and draw upon it now.

    I will be watching this site all day now so tell me you wont have one and tonight tell me you succeeded today.

    Lillie xx

  • mash

    this is horrible, but I know you can get through this difficult time.

    Stay strong and think of the reasons why you wanted to stop, maybe

    read the first posts you made on here.

    ((((( hugs )))))

  • thanks Lillie its just good to know that people know where im at , i so do not want to lose this quit, and i just realized my friend John wouldnt want me to either, im gonna hold on to this. Thanks again Lillie a big hug to you.

    Mash x

  • Im thinking of your pain Mash, but you and I both know that smoking wont make things any better.

    Just imagine Im standing behind you, watching you, making you feel guilty for even thinking about having one. I am the other voice on your shoulder telling you that you dont need one.

    Im catholic Mash, I cant go to mass at the moment as I cant drive but my parents will be there, I will ask them to offer up a prayer for your friend to make his passage a good one.

    Thinking about you and hoping that strength keeps you going.

    Lillie xx

  • i so do not want to lose this quit, and i just realized my friend John wouldnt want me to either, im gonna hold on to this.

    Hi Mash

    I know that you have lost quits before and regretted it very quickly. You know that smoking will neither help you or your friend.

    You also know from experience that those early days of the quit are the worst - how many times do you really want to go through that? You really have enough on your plate without adding that problem to things as well.

    Keep posting on here all day and all night if necessary. Find other things to distract yourself. Anything but smoking, because you know how you will feel straight afterwards. Be good to yourself this time Mash.

  • He definately would love more time. im not going to smoke even if it is the archetypal smoking situation even non smokers smoke when things r like this. im just taking it as it comes , just been for a walk and feel different already. knowing that my fellow quitters are here for me is a huge help. big hugs to all of you...John has cancer that is caused by asbestos, never smoked in his life,very healthy guy, lovely person. i think it would be wrong of me to smoke and knowingly threaten my health, especially now my lungs are turning pink.

    mash x

  • so sorry

    so sorry to hear your friend is not well mash. i can't fathom how hard it must be for you right now. i don't even really know what to say in moments like that, the emotions are running high, but i'll venture with my deepest and earnest sympathies, hoping not sound cliche...just condolences, just that... i'm sorry my imagination stops here.. i guess what i'm also trying to say is that please stay strong, regarding everything..which in turn shall help you not to start smoking again.. and in turn will help your friend.

    HUGS,

    sea

  • Sorry to hear this Mash. Stay strong - you don't want to have to start day 1 again! Your friend wouldn't want this for you either.

    Sending you positive thoughts...

  • IV JUST GOT TO SAY THERE IS NO WAY JOSE, that i am going to smoke im being tested. iv had it easy so far , no real cravings not like this but with every minute that passes the desire ceases to be a desire. there is no need for me to run away from these feelings. i have a good connection with a higher power. i know how to pray and meditate. thanks everyone. speak soon.

    Mash x:cool:

  • My thoughts are also with you at this sad time, Mash.

    Although you write that even a non smoker could be tempted to smoke on this occasion it really doesn't mean that there is any benefit to be had from doing so. Rather it would only add more pain onto what is already a large load.

    Please do remember that smoking will not improve the situation whatsoever.

    Keep on keepin' on,

    Cav

  • Mash - I'm still lurking here before I join you all next weekend and couldn't let your post go by without saying how much my thoughts are with you too. Your mental stamina, in terms of 'accepting' what is and keeping the Nicodemon in his place, is awesome. I can only imagine what you must be going through, but tonight (and sorry if you're not a Strictly fan - you're probably not!) I have to say you're my favourite. Thinking of you,

    Sue

  • Hi Mash, just caught your post mate

    I know that nothing I write is going to make you feel much better under the circumstances regarding your friend John but I sincerely hope things are as peaceful as possible for him.... and my thoughts are with you. I can only echo previous reply's that I'm sure John wouldn't want to feel in anyway responsible for you 'losing' your quit, so you owe it to him to STAY STRONG !!

    As you already know I keep an eye on your posts because your about a week or so ahead of me... one of the things that stands out to me is your fabulous sense of humour which I think is a vital ingredient in this quitting lark so....

    Stay Strong.... 'yer doidee shtinkun raet' :p

    Jay

  • Hiya mash, just read your thread....really sorry about your friend. Your friend wouldn't want you to smoke again...no ways. He has had no choice over what has happened to him like my OH has no choice for having crippling asthma. Sorry to be harsh but we were purposely shitting up our lungs and bodies...let's not take the piss by smoking again.

    Sending love and thoughts your way

    Lisa XXX

  • Mash, you know how much I feel for you.

    When someone close to you dies it's unspeakably hard. Hard when it's slow and agonising, hard when it's sudden and unexpected... no matter the circumstances, it's a stressful and painful time, where nothing seems real. It's tempting to reach for anything, no matter how destructive, to try and distract ourselves from what we must inevitably go through.

    But everyone else is perfectly right. Smoking does a big fat nothing to help ease the pain. It just adds to the misery. And to deliberately risk your life when life is so precious... it's just impossible to justify. I know your friend would not want you to relinquish your newfound freedom on his account. Stay strong for him, and for yourself.

    I don't practice a religion but I do believe in God, so I will say a prayer for John tonight, and for you xx

  • Thank you all so much. im really touched by your generosity and genuine care and love. im happy to say iv not reached for a smoke and have no intention. i feel really strong and know that strength isnt just down to me, its come from us all and maybe something bigger. i think together we can conquer anything that comes our way. we all deserve to succed in quitting and i know for myself i couldnt do it without your support and a big part of my recovery is supporting others. oh dear im beginning to sound gushy, but i have to say how i feel. we are really priveledged to have this forum and ywe all should be proud of what weve created. so there IS NO WAY JOSE that little white sticks of weed are going to mess us up. agreed?

    John is sleeping through this out of pain surrounded by friends and more love than you can imagine,and most importantly hes ready. its the rest of us that are climbing the walls, all we can do is wait.. sorry to be going on for so long and once again a huge thank you.

    Mash xxx:cool:

  • Dear Mash,

    I'm so sorry for you and your friend. Maybe now this isn't about smoking, its about losing someone you love.

    I hope its peaceful for him.

    Much love to you

    LizzieX

  • Hi All .just to let you know John died at three am. peace all round. im about done in so im gonna grab anextra few hours. its a smoke free day by the way. its official . a smoke free day of obligation.:cool: thanks for your prayers i know they helped. xxx

    Mash x

  • Sorry to hear this news Mash, thankfully it seems everything was a peaceful as possible and no more suffering for your friend.

    RIP John.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Jay

  • Afternoon Mash

    Sorry to read of your sad news.

    Sending my condolences.

    maxine

    xx

  • Hi Mash,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, and my thoughts are with you this time.

    I am glad that you managed to keep on the wagon, even when you must've felt so bad.

    Hugs, and take care

    Jen xxx

  • Hi mash,

    It's so hard to lose a friend I know, and you have been so brave.

    Give yourself some time for you now, and we are all here if you need us.

    Thinking of you,

    Take care of yourself,

    Zoe xx

  • My thoughts are with you Mash.

    Hope you've managed to get some sleep today.

  • Hiya Mash

    I am so sorry to learn of your friend Johns passing. Its hard to say goodbye to someone you love. I just dont have the words.....

    Thinking of you and of course his family.

    Lillie xxx

  • Hey Mash

    Really sorry to hear your news - and my thoughts are with you. But a big well done to you as well for not smoking - not sure I could have done the same! Hope you have had a good rest!

    xxx

  • Thinking of you Mash. Stay strong. x

  • Thoughts with you, Mash. x

  • HEY YOU ALL, A HUGE THANK YOU .YOUVE BEEN ARE AWESOME. IM HAPPY TO SAY THAT THROUGH THIS IM NOT SMOKING. IM ALMOST EATING MY INHALATOR, WHICH IS USUALLY EMPTY,EATING LOTS OF SUGAR FREE POLOS TAKING CARE OF MYSELF, JOHNS FUNERAL IS NEXT WEEK AND THERE WILL BE A COMMEMORATION IN DECEMBER I THINK. IM SO GLAD I GOT TO SEE HIM THE WEEK BEFORE HIS PASSING WE HAD A LOVELY DAY WHICH IM TRULY GRATEFUL FOR AS MANY PEOPLE DONT GET THIS OPPORTUNITY. ITS STILL A BIT SURREAL AND I FIND IT HARD TO IMAGINE I.LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN, BUT WHO KNOWS . HE HAD A HUGE SPIRIT WHICH TOUCHED MANY PEOPLE AND WILL PROBABLY CONTINUE TO DO SO.

    MASH X I THINK THIS IS MY FOURTH WEEK OF QUITTING. FEELING PLEASED ABOUT THAT.:cool: