Embarrased to admit being back here

Hi Everyone

I lost my quit 7 months in, no excuses just thought I could get away with the odd one and began romancing and fantasing about cigarettes. For the past 2 weeks it has crept up and up and I was up to 6 or 7 a day - I knew I was on my way back to 30-40 a day. Ive been sneaking around, carrying handwipes, using mouthwash and behaving like a prize ..... !

So cough is back, using my inhaler again and thought this morning enough is enough, time for a reality check.

I now know how rubbish cigarettes make you feel again and I really dont want to be here

So I plan to learn from this, nothing good about 1 or 2, they lead to more and you feel rubbish, so onwards and upwards again :D

Tracey

11 Replies

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  • Ive been sneaking around, carrying handwipes, using mouthwash and behaving like a prize ..... !

    Hi Tracey

    Really sorry to hear that you lost your quit. I had to laugh a bit about your description of sneaking around though - it sounds exactly like my last relapse! I had quit with my other half, and didn't want to admit that I was smoking again to anyone, but especially not to him.

    Unlike me, though, you didn't wait years before trying again - I really admire you for that, and suspect that it will be easier to get things back under control. Good luck.

  • Yup. Never, ever, ever cheat!!!!!

    I made that mistake more than once before it finally sank in.

    Back on the horse kiddo...... :)

  • if at first you dont succeed...try ...try again!! :D

    keep moving foward and learn from your mistakes!!

  • Oh Tracey my fellow fab Febber! never mind you are getting back on the wagon that's the main thing.

    Fazer was asking how were we all doing, having heard off DD or c266 Fleetwood had a blip.

    I am still here and doing ok still have the odd thought but no craves I always think of the early days, I couldn't go through them again.

    You are doing the right thing coming back on here any time you need help just ask.

    Best wishes

    Maria. xx

  • Many of us have been there with the sneakiness....however now I've not smoked for a while I realise how futile it is to hide it!

    Welcome back though, it's great that you're giving it a go.

  • Hi Tracey

    Sorry that you have lost your quit, but huge congrats on getting straight back on the horse!!:D

    At least you have learnt a lesson, so you will not be caught out again!!!

    Onwards and upwards eh?

  • Hi Everyone

    I lost my quit 7 months in, no excuses just thought I could get away with the odd one and began romancing and fantasing about cigarettes. For the past 2 weeks it has crept up and up and I was up to 6 or 7 a day - I knew I was on my way back to 30-40 a day. Ive been sneaking around, carrying handwipes, using mouthwash and behaving like a prize ..... !

    So cough is back, using my inhaler again and thought this morning enough is enough, time for a reality check.

    I now know how rubbish cigarettes make you feel again and I really dont want to be here

    So I plan to learn from this, nothing good about 1 or 2, they lead to more and you feel rubbish, so onwards and upwards again :D

    Tracey

    Sorry to read about you losing your quit Tracey, good on you for getting back to it before you were back at your old consumption.

    You'll know to watch out next time and remember the nicodemon is a tricky blighter. He wants you back and he wants you hooked and mindless.

    Good luck and well done for waking up so qucikly.

    Had to smile at the sneaky tactics though - how many people twigged? Just proves the hold cigarettes have, to make you take such elaborate steps to try and stop people noticing.

  • Thanks for all your support everyone really appreciated, day one out the way and wasnt bad at all :D

  • Oh, RD, I'm so sorry! But it could so easily be any of us - and it's a timely reminder to me that Not One Puff Ever is the only option. It's amazing how persuasive that inner voice can be, even months down the line.

    There's a great article on Woofmang about the sort of thing that's happened to you. But hey, you have the hacksaw and you're not afraid to use it. You're back on the path to freedom now and I know you won't leave it again.

    talesfromthequit.com/jailbreak

    We're rooting for you, every step of the way!

    Hel x

  • Thanks Helen, means a lot - easier for some than others xxxx

  • Oh Tracey I am sorry to read that you lost your quit so far in. You have the benefit of hind sight this time though, you know what you face and that you can do, just time that 1 smoke seems like a great idea think about the other thousands in a year that come with it, there is no such thing as 1.

    On a positive note, you know you can do it, you have got so far before, learn from your mistake and you will be a non smoker.

    Stay Strong xxx

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