Back to square 1. :(

[nsd_user663_27615]

So, I was on day 10. Just had a huge row with OH.

Back to day 1 now.

I went and bought a 10 back, and have smoked two in a row.

I feel so awful. I don't even know if I'm single now or what. why did I think they'd help? They didn't. I feel worse than I would if I didn't have them.

The packets been taken off me and hidden.

I won't be able to sleep tonight. Everythings gone nuts.

[nsd_user663_27261]

Any fall off is disappointing, but the fact you went 10 days beforehand means you're capable of winning this, get back on and beat this, you know you can.

I've been drinking all evening and around smokers and I've been as close as you can get without actually taking a puff, if i can do it anyone can, hope you get things sorted Jess.

GL

[nsd_user663_27615]

Thanks guys, it's really nice to have people to vent to, and people who won't have a go at me when I fail.

I've decided that, I'm going to keep it at day 10, (today would have been 11) and see those two cigarettes as a moment of weakness/a day off.

It was the worst row yet and I'm still waiting for him to come home, but I'm proud that I managed to get to sleep without the aid of a cigarette and haven't been up chain smoking all night.

I had to wash my hair this morning, I hated the smell of cigs on it, and I've put some incense around the house, hopefully the awful smell will go away!

[nsd_user663_24042]

JessDee.

I know exactly where you are coming from!!! I too have smoked and feel remorseful. Really should get straight back on the quit but have now smoked my 10 and just bought 20 (£7.25) !!!!!! That's enough to motivate anyone!!!

Good luck back on it, hopefully I'll be back with it too.

[nsd_user663_24707]

Hi JessDee, All great advice there. I've just stumbled after 5 weeks and know exactly how disappointed you feel. As someone else said, we've just got to try and treat it as a blip and get back on the wagon. Best of luck!

[nsd_user663_26590]

Jess. I would carry on as if nothing had happened!!. That was a test that those nasty little demons sent you. So, acknowledge that in the heat of moment it was a fail!! but only just!!

And as anyone learning knows -one has to get up and do the re-sit!! STRAIGHT AWAY!!! Before all the hard work and learning goes literally up in smoke!!

That one moment of weakness was in fact put there to give you strenght in the future. It shows you just how easy it to fall off the wagon. And the upset that the row caused was no doubt still there after that ciggie. And you probably added to the stress of the moment by your own guilt and self criitsism etc. It snowballs out of control.

Don't do it again !!!!!! Promise!!!!