Raaarrgggg!!

[nsd_user663_28180]

hello

well i have never used any of these forum things before so here goes....

well i stopped smoking cold turkey 1 day short of 2 months ago now. Iv been through the phycotic stage and have slightly calmed down now. My eating habbits are going pretty steady..any sweet things il take them and lots of them. weight gain-definately.

but i still think stopping smoking at the start of my year trip round NZ was a silly idea..mostly because it was my boyfriend who made me promise not to smoke again.

anyone who says it gets easier lies! every single day i still want one, i get nasty headaches when i do. The evenings are the worst now. i havnt been drinking since iv stopped so im not sure about that one.

is it soo bad to buy tobacco just to have it in the evenings?????i dont really want it during the day now..just the evenings.

i just want one ciggy to test if i still like it.i mite spew up in disgust for all i know. my fingers feel empty and without purpose.hhhhmmmm this sucks.

i think the only thing thats stopping me is the fact i will be soo disiapointed if i start again, it was all for nothing. but i still want one.aaararrrggggg

[nsd_user663_28180]

yea your right i am battling with myself....everyday.and its hard

I know i have to quit for myself but it ended up me promising my partner i would stop and only kinda felt like i wanted to.iv never tried to quit properly before and always said id stop if i ever had children.

now i dont want to smoke all the time, it is just the evenings that are really difficult. i went into the shop today just wanting to buy some tobacco but ended up buying chocolate instead! thats the other thing thats annoying..im putting on sooo much weight...damn junk food!

i do need to choose what i want more...im just finding it difficult

i hate the fact that fags are controlling me and that its all i can think about, aaarrrggg

i need more willpower

sorry for ranting!!

[nsd_user663_16968]

Suzi

Congrats on stopping smoking but like Karri has said i think because you stopped due to a promise to your BF then i think it wont be long before just one to see if i am ok now will turn into a full time smoker. I dont think just saying only evenings is a good idea because in all honesty you cant have it both ways. I had 2 previous attempts both of those failed because i gave up for other people and not for me but this time i gave up for me because i was ready to make that transition from smoker to non-smoker and for me its worked. I hated it when i stopped before because like you it was so hard i was missing something, something i did not want to give up but i promised these people and eventually it got to me and i became what i thought was a secret smoker, i did that for a few weeks then the guilt got to me and i had to tell them. You have to stop for the right reasons and for you, i truely hope you dont go back but this is your life and you must do what is right for you otherwise you will end up like me when i tried before. Im now 7 months in and loving it, no guilt, no wants, no promises and no one told me to. Good luck

[nsd_user663_26699]

It's definitely not ok to 'just' smoke in the evenings. No matter when or how many you smoke, it is still smoking and still doing you harm.

It's a pity it wasn't your own free choice to give up. I was in that situation many years ago, having giving up for my partner. For a very long time I felt that I wasn't really an ex-smoker, but rather a smoker who hadn't smoked for a long time (a few years in fact). I ended up smoking again one day, and it took me another 10 years before I finally quit again, of my own choice.

In the end, I don't think it was worth me starting again and adding 10 years of damage to my body. Even if I had not really made the choice, but rather was pushed into it, I now strongly feel that I should have made my partner's choice my own choice, if you see what I mean?

Alex.

[nsd_user663_25112]

Hi Suzi, im afraid i have to stick to what the others said. It has to come from you to quit and not someone else . My OH smokes but i didnt make him give up although i did ask him he not ready to. But i knew i wanted to quit and this is my 3rd and final attempt. But don't consider smoking in the evening because it only takes one fag and you will be a fulltime smoker again i know because i did that last year. Well good luck Suzi