Hi, I am new here. I am sitting here with an unlit fag in my mouth and sucking on it like a dummy, and a patch on my arm...
I have been smoking for exactly 10 years. I was always totally anti smoking and only started smoking because I was treated very badly by nurses when I was 17 when I had a mental breakdown. Basically all the other patients smoked and I was so lonely I joined in- stupid.
I smoke 25 ish a day, and If I run out of fags, within an hour I get so dizzy and such a bad headache I can't even walk to the shop (5 minute walk) to get more. I have my first fag of the morning the second I wake up, literally
So, all i have done is 4 hours. I'm desperate, dizzy and my eyes won't focus right (always get this when I haven't had one for an hour or so)
In the past I have tried gum, patches, lozenges, zyban and cold turkey. I managed to give up once for 5 days on the gum, then the gum broke one of my teeth so I started again!!!
I spoke to an nhs stop smoking person and he just said I needed more willpower. I have severe ongoing mental issues and the fags are how I cope (yes I have read alan carrs book, they don't really help you cope etcetc) but you know what I mean. I'm aware of the effects of cigarettes on the brain.
Anyway...the only reason I want to stop is because I have ocd about my teeth which are disgusting under the top teeth, but I have a morbid fear of dentists and can't go...and now I'm thinking well if I can't go dentists the stains won't come off my teeth anyway so I may as well smoke...arrrrghhh thoughts!
I'm practically housebound and have no hobbies because of my disorders, smoking is literally the only thing I have. This is SO hard, if I'm like this after 4 hours how am I going to do a week even?
Sorry for moaning. I just want a bloo_y fag!!