4 hours only and I'm about to crack!

Hi, I am new here. I am sitting here with an unlit fag in my mouth and sucking on it like a dummy, and a patch on my arm...

I have been smoking for exactly 10 years. I was always totally anti smoking and only started smoking because I was treated very badly by nurses when I was 17 when I had a mental breakdown. Basically all the other patients smoked and I was so lonely I joined in- stupid.

I smoke 25 ish a day, and If I run out of fags, within an hour I get so dizzy and such a bad headache I can't even walk to the shop (5 minute walk) to get more. I have my first fag of the morning the second I wake up, literally :(

So, all i have done is 4 hours. I'm desperate, dizzy and my eyes won't focus right (always get this when I haven't had one for an hour or so)

In the past I have tried gum, patches, lozenges, zyban and cold turkey. I managed to give up once for 5 days on the gum, then the gum broke one of my teeth so I started again!!!

I spoke to an nhs stop smoking person and he just said I needed more willpower. I have severe ongoing mental issues and the fags are how I cope (yes I have read alan carrs book, they don't really help you cope etcetc) but you know what I mean. I'm aware of the effects of cigarettes on the brain.

Anyway...the only reason I want to stop is because I have ocd about my teeth which are disgusting under the top teeth, but I have a morbid fear of dentists and can't go...and now I'm thinking well if I can't go dentists the stains won't come off my teeth anyway so I may as well smoke...arrrrghhh thoughts!

I'm practically housebound and have no hobbies because of my disorders, smoking is literally the only thing I have. This is SO hard, if I'm like this after 4 hours how am I going to do a week even?

Sorry for moaning. I just want a bloo_y fag!! :(

10 Replies

  • Well done you !

    Hi Dizzy, Welcome to the forum. I have only been here a few days myself. This is my 7th day today after many, many attempts to stop. You just hang on in there, you are doing one of the best things you can for yourself, your health etc. It must seem unsumoantable (think I spelt THAT wrong LOL) for you with the other problems you have but believe me you CAN do this. I am using patches & lozenges this time & have not been too bad this week. The people on this forum are absolutley lovely & will offer you so much support directly or indirectly. Please beleive me. Hang on i n there, will be back soon.xxx

  • awww

    aww reading ur story is so encouraging it makes me want to help u 2 stop smoking too.. its crazy this is the first time i'm actually helping somebody else to quit and its only my own first day off the fags... IT SOO HARD 4 ME 2, but we can do this together... Take control of ur life and i'll take control of mine and we can write to each other and tell each other how well we've done... wot d'ya think...???


  • Thankyou!

    I was trying to occupy myself with finding a mac countdown widget, but sadly, a decent one does not exist (at least one that isn't in dollars with a pre set price lol!)

    The thing that always gets me smoking again is the way my eyes feel like i have pressed them in really hard after about an hour of not smoking. I can't focus. It's probably purely psychological, but it's as if it's saying 'YOU NEED A FAG NOW!'

    I can't stop thinking about it!!

    I think I can go tonight just about. But in the morning I'm going to be desperate!

    I still have that unlit dummy fag in my mouth, now it's all duck a- well, soggy lol. But at least it's something to play with.

    The thing that worries me is I have heard so many people say that even after years of giving up, they still want a fag. My BF's dad gave up 3 years ago and he only smoked about 5 a day, and he still has really bad cravings now. How long realistically will it take for my eyes to feel normal and the dizziness and lethargy to go, the worst part?

    EDIT- Yes Ayesha, ok lol, thanks, but I don't want to disappoint if I start again tomorrow..aaargh! Good luck to you too!

  • Hi Dizzy, Hi Ayesha,

    Welcome both of you to the forum.

    These first hours can be really tough, but get through them and gradually things will get easier. It may not seem like that right now, but they will get easier. Stick with it and you won't have to go through this difficult time again.

    Read up on things, know your addiction, and it will help you fight it. You may have already been to these sites but if not, have a look at woofmang.com and whyquit.com . Lots of good stuff there. And there will be others along on the forum with lots of experience who will offer support to.

    Keep strong. The decision to quit is one of the best decisions you will ever make.


  • keep it up!


    Hi hun. Try looking at this site. It has so many links covering loads of things you want to know. The best bit is that the nicotine itself goes from your system real quick. There are pages on this link that will explain what happens when. Whatever you feel be assured it will not last long even if it seems like it is!! xxx

  • Hi Dizzy :)

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    Whoa there Don't panic Take some deep breathes that will help to calm you OK

    Feeling dizzy and eyes not focusing is normal at the start of a quit Promise

    We'll all help you as much as we can

    Try not to think far ahead take it hour by hour to start with even minute by minute Say to yourself I won't have a fag for [say] 1 hour and when the hour is up say it again and every hour after a while stretch it to 2 hours etc, in this way it won't seem so hard for you

    We've all been where you are on day 1 lots of us many more times than once and remember you're not fighting this alone we'll help and support you for as long as you need us Promise


    Marg xx

  • Thankyou, this is a nice site, and quick responses too!

    I have been looking at those sites as well.

    I feel odd lol, like I have eyestrain. everything seems to have a blurry white aura around it. Is this psychological, I suppose it must be as i always get it when I don't smoke, but I have a patch on! It feels very similar head/eye wise as it does when you don't eat for a week and oversleep. Makes no sense because when you are asleep then wake up you don't get the eye/spaced out thing and thats at least 5 hours...

    I'm just typing cos I need to do something with my hands so sorry for blahing on!

    When does the worst of it start to calm down? I know from last time by day 2 I couldn't even walk in a straight line lol!

    Thanks all :)

  • Hi Dizzy, Are you doing this cold turkey or with patches, etc??

  • 16 hour patches and gum for in the morning before the patch works on advice from the chemist. I didn't want to use the overnight patches because I tried those before and they made me sweat and have nightmares. In all honesty it isn't doing anything. I have exactly the same symptoms as I had before when I tried cold turkey.

    On a pos. note, 5 hours now and I know I won't have one tonight. Tomorrow is a different matter though as I can't do anything unless I chain 3 the minute I wake up!

    Also my dummy fag has just died, I chewed the filter off it!

    I might be ok unless I get really stressed out and due to my problems this is inevitab;e and I don't know if I will be able to stop myself then. Any advice?

  • Hi, Well you've managed 5 hours so try 6, 7 etc. A small step at a time! I am using patches this time & lozenges. I have had some weird dreams as these are 24 hour ones which I did not want but my nurse said I should. Last night (Day 6) was much more peaceful. I have to say they are helping. As i would chain smoke in the morning also I know how hard that time is. I even stick a lozenge in my mouth before i get up! (Not as bad as having a fag 2 seconds after getting up I guess LOL). I would smoke 5, 6 fags before getting to work so know how bad that time is. I have managed it though & if I can you can :)

    I just say to myself when I get that GRRRRRRRRRRRR feeling when I wake up 'I do not smoke now so this feeling means nothing'. Weird but it helps. I cannot comment on the other issues you have as obviuosly I do not know what they are hun. If I can, or anyone else on here can help which I know they will, just ask away.


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