HELP needed please!!

Hi there, I have read lots of different forums, just wanted some advice or help please, or if anyone has experienced similar problems.

I gave up smoking on No Smoking day, I lost my beloved dad last June to lung cancer, and I have 3 beautiful children and a lovely husband, my reasons for stopping. (and money)

After smoking 30ish a day since I was 14, Im now 32, 60 days ago, using the patches, the 1st month was actually better than I thought, but the last few weeks I have turned into someone to be honest I really dont like. I started so postively, gardening etc,

My husband bless him loves starting DIY but unfortunately gets bored and moves on to the next project, so I have a garden which looks like a building site, half a shower room, half a kitchen and half a bathroom, with boxes everywhere, and I think its starting to grate slightly.

I would normally laugh it off but I think the not smoking has completely blown this out of proportion, I feel like Im constantly cleaning and going round in circles. Ive also put on weight which Im not happy about at all.

It can take anything to make me snap, and I used to be so laid back, I feel very bitter and resentful, I just want to curl up in bed and not talk to anyone :( Normally I would do housework but now It seems pointless, has anyone else felt basically angry, bitter, stressed, oh and the dreams and disturbed sleep I could do without, I feel so tired, and I really dont like myself which again makes me angry :mad:

Im starting to feel like giving up giving up and maybe start again once everything is done and maybe be more prepared or is this the way I will stay if I continue not smoking.

Sorry I sound like a complete mad woman, I just wanted to see if anyone has been similarly pyscotic, and how on earth did you cope or not cope?????

Any clue would be so very much appreciated, thanks Sarah

P.S. Everyone thinks I'll cave in eventually anyway :(

14 Replies

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  • Hi Karrie,

    Thank you so much for your reply, I have been reading all the different posts, and some have made me actually lol (especially involving murder etc) and some have brought a tear, you are exactly right reading these have helped to the point of not dragging the kids to the shops to buy any 'filthy fags' which I was seriously contiplating until 10 mins ago :-( I wouldnt wish these feelings on anybody, but I feel better knowing I am not going completely loopy, thank you, I think I have just smiled for the first time in about 2 weeks :-) x

  • Sorry Karri without the e, trying to reply too quick :-)

  • believe me how u feel is perfectly normal u are changing who you were and u have to kinda grieve who u were then be the new non smoking person u are going to be

    and this change isnt a smooth ride always

    but believe me it is so worth it and is the best thing i have ever done i never thought i would hear myself say that i read that phrase on here so much but never thought i would get to that point of saying it myself

    i have gone through sheer panic of how will i cope right through to depression [for a short while] because of the change u face but it can be done i am one of those who say if i can do it anyone can but its true i never imagined being able to do this

    i never at the start believed i could be happy again or proper laugh at something again or cope with stress [but infact my stress levels have fallen significantly as i realised i used to create stress in order to justify a cigarette] basically i never believed i could be the person i am today replying to u and helping someone else u will get through it honestly it s one day at a time

    the sleep and dreams settle to i quite miss my adventure dreams now lol

  • Hi - This morning - I too thought Oh to hell with this. Is the moodiness really worth it!!! I AM going up the shops to buy the cheapest pack of ciggies there is!!! Hate myself for it and then regret it!!!

    Something in my head told me that would be plain stupid. On Day 30 now!!! So I snapped and snarled again at my hubby - threw him his breakfast and busied myself on something trivial!!!

    Today I cleared out that pile of papers we all seem to have - of stuff we may need -but never do!!! Its gone now!! Shredded!!! And I have not had a ciggy!!!!

    Later today I am going to throw out all those odd socks!! Where are the others I ask!! How can I possibly lose 40 or more socks!!!! My kids left home 2 years ago -so if their odd socks have not turned up by now they never will!!!

    Then at end of day -I will look at the new outfit I just treated myself to for a wedding from money saved!! MY TREAT!!! If I start smoking again -then I will take it back!! Still have receipt!!! My own emotional blackmail. I want to keep the dress!!!

    Had family round last night -and for once was not embarressed that my house smelt like an old ashtray!!! ( and neither did i) Could go " kissy kissy" to all of them without holding my breath incase I knocked them over with the stench of stale ciggies!!

  • You are not alone Sarah 78

    Hi Sarah78,

    You have done really well think about why you gave up and think about all the good things that can come from this, more money nice things that you can buy yourself. We have all thought about that nicotine demon, tries to creep back in, and remember a craving only last 3mins. Take the kids to the park, or have a long soak, anything that distracts you from the thought of a dreaded fag.

    I know myself have had thoughts about the fag, but I just say to myself that having that one fag will not change anything you will still feel the same if you have one. I have also been a nasty little bitch LOL no but I have towards my hub, we have little rows but only because i get irritated so never think that you are alone we have all been their and worn the t shirt.

    I am at 9weeks 6days and at times think about the fag, I don't get a craving just the thought. You see my Hub smokes, but not indoors he has to go outside and in all weathers, and when he comes back in he coughs and coughs, so listening to him makes it even more easier for me not to smoke.

    But anyway don't give in you can do it we are all hear for you. You can have a rant on here as well and I personally have had many of them but everyone is so nice on here supportive which is what we all need at times of stress.

    Best wishes

    Jacqui

    NOT ONE PUFF EVER

    Last Fag 28/2/11

    Lozenge.

  • Thanks again Karri, I hope you managed to find something for dinner (or some yummy chocolate lol) We were very bad and treated the kids and us to a MacDonalds hehehe

    Boo, you have given me hope to carry on, and I hope very soon I'll be in a position to offer the same advice to someone else :D

    Teacup your post made me chuckle, the holding breathe etc, how bizarre that someone else would do that, I would never have even thought or known I was doing it but I did lmao I also have weddings coming up so maybe that could be my treat once Ive shifted a few pounds aswell I'll treat myself and go shopping for a lovely new outfit which will smell just as nice at the end of the day :-)

    Jacqui, my lovely hubby does still smoke, but I do remind him how bad he smells when he comes in from the rain, I cant believe I used to smell like that, that is a definate bonus I absolutely hate the smell now, and it so nice not coughing constantly, I think I just forgot all these positives and that little voice was just telling me that if I smoke again I'll feel normal again (smelly, coughing, and a very empty purse) Im glad to hear that hopefully these psycotic tendancies will pass soon and I can concentrate on the really good things.

    I just wanted to say a massive thank you to everyone for all your advice, you have no idea how much it helped, I actually feel alot more positive and if it hadnt been for your help I think the chances are I would have gone to the 'shop' and felt even worse, when I was reading your replies my lovely hubby came home from work with a bunch of lovely flowers, how bad did I feel, he is being supportive, I feel very guilty for moaning and being a complete cow but I have a funny feeling there might be a few more strops, but at least I know now that whilst Im not completely normal Im not completely deranged :eek: well not yet lol Thanks again guys x

  • One more thing -THE FLOWERS!!!

    Forgot to add -I can now smell flowers!!!

    Sense of smell and taste is returning!!! Forgot how a balmy summer day smelt untill a couple of days ago when I was walking up the road. It really shocked me that I had forgotten that smell!!! Took me right back to childhood. Kept taking hugh gulps of air to recapture that feeling. Think passing mororists thought I was barking mad!! But I wanted to shout at them to SMELL THE AIR!!!

    I even went round the flower stand at Tesco's a couple of days ago -sniffing the flowers!!! Yep!! I must be barking mad!!!

  • Totally normal what you are going through, Sarah, just stick it out and trust that all will not only get back to normal but a much better normal. Hang in there, the reason so many give in and start again is because this time of a quit can be so incredibly challenging but if you just work through it you will gain such tremendous rewards! Best of luck, I promise it will get easier soon!

  • Teacup, I completely get the new sense of smell, Its really amazing, I even have to avoid certain parts where I walk the dog (used to hide to have a sneaky fag) as it smells awful, but especially now its Spring, there are really lovely smells about, Im sure people dont think your that mad :D

    BellaBlue, It sounds like youve been exactly where I was earlier, Im so glad I found this forum, thanks so much for the positive advice :D

  • Lmao i do that teacup. I follow my nose round Asda. Flowers, bread, roasted chickens. :o

    I also walk around the roads smelling the air. Turning towards the nice smells and pulling faces at the nasty ones.

    I look like a sniffer dog on patrol! :D

  • Oohhh kebab, we did that last night, so very bad hehehe :D

  • Thanks again Karri, you've been a star and I can go to bed and cross off another day tomorrow, thank you x

  • Sarah -Word of warning I HAVE BEEN THERE!!! Do not for one minute think it is possible to give up smoking AND go on a diet!!! It does not work!!!

    For the time being accept that you could put on a few pounds -it happens to us all. DO NOT - I REPEAT - DO NOT go on a diet straightaway!!! You will start smoking again. BELIEVE ME!!!!!!!

    I am going to crack this smoking issue first -and only when I am confident that I have beaten it will I cut back the calories!!!

    I am half hoping that as I feel fitter I will actually move about a bit more and start ( restart) exercise of some sort as I now do not cough and splutter if I run up the hill anymore.

  • No no no

    Ha Teacup wrong wrong wrong :D I went on a successful diet and an extreme workout program ... lol and I lost loads of weight but this i my entire goal ... FIT WITh 40 ... I think it is the mind set you have on things ... I am sure anyone can loose weight while quitting smoking ... at the end it is all goal setting and a lot of hard work ... :p but then I am really in in a tough challenge ...so don't mind me the UNCLE is just CRAZY :rolleyes:.... right Karri ????Sarah -Word of warning I HAVE BEEN THERE!!! Do not for one minute think it is possible to give up smoking AND go on a diet!!! It does not work!!!

    For the time being accept that you could put on a few pounds -it happens to us all. DO NOT - I REPEAT - DO NOT go on a diet straightaway!!! You will start smoking again. BELIEVE ME!!!!!!!

    I am going to crack this smoking issue first -and only when I am confident that I have beaten it will I cut back the calories!!!

    I am half hoping that as I feel fitter I will actually move about a bit more and start ( restart) exercise of some sort as I now do not cough and splutter if I run up the hill anymore.

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