What a day, what a month!

I'm not really one of those guys that talks about his feelings but thats one thing I love about this forum, I get to come on here and unload which is a great feeling in itself.

So my day started with a phone call from an old friend I hadn't seen in a while, I actually didn't know who it was and when I realised I was debating with myself as to whether I should meet up with him or not. Probably not a good idea (you'll find out why later), I went anyway. It was all fun and laughs, a really good catchup! He was suprised when I rejected the offer of a fag but happy for me that I finally quit. Later... after we met up with another friend we went back to his place, both of these guys smoke. We had a lot of 'sessions' not that long ago. Temptations were running wild. I kept saying to myself, shall I ask for a smoke? No? Yes? Hmm will 1 hurt? Would it hinder my success so far? One mate starts to roll a reefa of sorts and starts to pass it round which I said no to, I can happily say I was never tempted to join in on the whacky backy. But happy with myself that I said no, I decided it was time to leave, we had had a laugh, caught up, I wanted to go before I gave into temptation. Plus my clothes WREAKED of the stuff.

I headed back home, now this is the part that really sucks..I saw this girl later that I really like. Now im not really a shy sorta guy, and this is gonna sound really stupid. But everytime I'm talking to a girl I really like I get really shy, don't really know what to say to her. Found myself going for a fag and using it as comfort. My previous gfs had all been the instigators, i've never really asked anyone out before I'm too shy when it comes to that. So anyway I decided to quit smoking once and forall and it stuck, at 11pm tonight I completed 30 days smokefree. I only recently got to know this girl, and she made me quit smoking, even tho she doesnt know it. I guess thats why it kinda feels like a kick in the nuts when I found out she has a bf today! I saw the two of them together and she called me over and introduced me to him etc and I was actually really devastated. I know its stupid, but I was gonna ask her out "the next time I saw her", AND THAT **** HAPPENS!!! I must have got my signals mixed up! But nowhere along the line did she mention him for one second. I mean its been over a month!

Well, I've had a rocky day. A few ups and downs, avoided temptation to hit a massive 720hours without touching a single cigarette. I guess I don't really know how I feel, I'm kinda happy, but down.

Thank you for listening.



5 Replies

  • Hi Alex, good for you for not giving in & having a smoke.

    You have shown lots of strength & determination to stay on your quit no matter what. Use that same strength & determination inside you next time you want to ask a girl out. It's not just there to get us through the quitting lark, use it for whatever reason you need it for also ;)

    Gaynor x

  • Hi Alex, wow, what a lot of situations to deal with, and well done you. Remember though that you've quit smoking for you, no-one else!

    Gaynor is right, you have shown an awful lot of strength, and the more confident you go with your quit, the more you can use this strength to other advantages.

    Keep at it, you may not have got the girl this time but you should feel well chuffed with yourself cos what you are achieving is life changing.

    Lorraine :)

  • Well done Alex, that was a huge trigger you got through but you did the right thing leaving in the end, give yourself a good pat on the back. Now you are a non-smoker lots of girls will want to go out with you, you smell so nice.


  • Oh dear, you've been really strong and thoroughly tested. Sorry if i come across as blunt but i'll be honest rather than pander. :o It sounds as if you are doing your best with your quit but when it comes to 'love' you become weak and end up having a fag if all goes wrong and you feel like sh**e.

    I bet you could have got the girl and not of had that fag if you believed in yourself. :) Just stay strong, your doing great. x

  • Thanks guys you told me just what I needed to hear :) I woke up feeling soo much better and so chuffed that I avoided temptation. You're right I was really thoroughly tested and I got an A*!!!

    Gaynor,Lorraine,Jackie - As for the girl...well theres plenty more fish in the sea! I can only go from strength to strength from now on and my confidence in general (not just the ladies) feels like its skyrocketed in this last month

    fallen angel - getting straight to the point is a nice character trait, i find it really annoying when people beat around the bush lol. But yeh you're right, i did...until I met this girl...I couldn't see me being myself around her whilst I was a smoker. And decided the next day that I would quit and get to know her properly, which I did. Just only recently worked up the courage to ask her out but I'll be keeping that motivation and courage stored safely inside!



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