I'm not really one of those guys that talks about his feelings but thats one thing I love about this forum, I get to come on here and unload which is a great feeling in itself.
So my day started with a phone call from an old friend I hadn't seen in a while, I actually didn't know who it was and when I realised I was debating with myself as to whether I should meet up with him or not. Probably not a good idea (you'll find out why later), I went anyway. It was all fun and laughs, a really good catchup! He was suprised when I rejected the offer of a fag but happy for me that I finally quit. Later... after we met up with another friend we went back to his place, both of these guys smoke. We had a lot of 'sessions' not that long ago. Temptations were running wild. I kept saying to myself, shall I ask for a smoke? No? Yes? Hmm will 1 hurt? Would it hinder my success so far? One mate starts to roll a reefa of sorts and starts to pass it round which I said no to, I can happily say I was never tempted to join in on the whacky backy. But happy with myself that I said no, I decided it was time to leave, we had had a laugh, caught up, I wanted to go before I gave into temptation. Plus my clothes WREAKED of the stuff.
I headed back home, now this is the part that really sucks..I saw this girl later that I really like. Now im not really a shy sorta guy, and this is gonna sound really stupid. But everytime I'm talking to a girl I really like I get really shy, don't really know what to say to her. Found myself going for a fag and using it as comfort. My previous gfs had all been the instigators, i've never really asked anyone out before I'm too shy when it comes to that. So anyway I decided to quit smoking once and forall and it stuck, at 11pm tonight I completed 30 days smokefree. I only recently got to know this girl, and she made me quit smoking, even tho she doesnt know it. I guess thats why it kinda feels like a kick in the nuts when I found out she has a bf today! I saw the two of them together and she called me over and introduced me to him etc and I was actually really devastated. I know its stupid, but I was gonna ask her out "the next time I saw her", AND THAT **** HAPPENS!!! I must have got my signals mixed up! But nowhere along the line did she mention him for one second. I mean its been over a month!
Well, I've had a rocky day. A few ups and downs, avoided temptation to hit a massive 720hours without touching a single cigarette. I guess I don't really know how I feel, I'm kinda happy, but down.
Thank you for listening.