me again

Some of you around here will know me, some of you will not.

I have been quit over 7 months now, and tonight I have been out with girl friends (all none smokers) and got home and OH has gone straight to bed, and it has hit me like a thunderbolt - I WANT A CIG NOW- how strange, I don't have any in the house, and there is no shop within walking distance, am considering getting a taxi to Asda!!

Stopping typing now, cause it is not helping.

13 Replies

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  • Hi Bev

    Hope that crave resides very soon. Go get yourself a good book and off to bed or have a nice soak........... don't get a taxi to get some smokes. You'll so kick yourself and really won't be able to carry on with your 7 months + quit. Who the heck wants to start again at this stage when it can be avoided?

    You know this will pass........... wanting is fine, just don't do it

    xx

  • thanks Pol, this is madness, I know, but hell I was hoping that by this stage this madness would have abated somewhat.

    Maybe bed in the only choice, but it would be nice to be able to have a few drinks with the girls and not have to go to bed at 11pm!

  • It can feel like madness but if it's only 'now and again' then we just have to cope and brush those wants/craves away.

    This weekend whilst enjoying some gardening in the lovely welcome spring like weather I really wanted to smoke. It still feels normal to feel a smoke whilst planning the next job is required and then another smoke whilst standing back on looking at a job well done. My OH went down to Poole this weekend just gone and took his (not ours but just just his now) baccy and papers with him.

    If felt strange not having any around, even to look at and say NO to. I didn't have that choice and did consider going to get some but only to put on the side table to look at and refuse to smoke. How daft would that have been?

    You've been drinking and the association to smoke is still big but even that in time should reduce. It shouldn't spoil your evening out, getting home and not smoking......... it's different and something to get used to.

    Find a new 'something' to do on your return..... break the old habit with something good.

  • Quits are NOT predictable Bev.

    Sometimes, just when you think you have them licked, along comes a trigger that you haven't yet, nailed down, and it rocks you big time.. and makes you feel really uneasy like now.

    but Bev, don't play games with the quit, i know these thoughts you are having and the more you listen, the stronger they get. So stop trying to justify the trip to asda which i know is part of the thought pattern right now.. that trip would involve a conscious decision, a phone call to a taxi firm and an entire journey there..

    the result would be.. fag in mouth, 30 seconds of ahh.. and urgh what a yukky ashtray taste and why didn't this taste like i expected followed by a very very empty and disappointed feeling... and thats only the start of it.

    Spare yourself this Bev.. the feelings tomorrow can be one of two things? either full of relief that you went to bed and woke up to a new day still free.. or that of utter regret and deep sorrow at something lost.

    I know which you want, and I know its what we would all want too.

    Be true to yourself, and get an early night, you'll be able to party with the girls many more times and you'll handle the after party much easier and better as time moves on .. its not all cured over night, this is an ongoing cure you are doing here.. don't push for miracles just yet.

    jase

  • Hi Bev

    Do want you want to do.

    I haven't smoked sinced november. Had a dragg on a rolly in march and a gragg on a rolly on saturday night, don't feel bad about it. I am still an ex smoker.:):)

  • Hope your feeling better this morning Bev and still smoke free. These feelings will go in the end Bev hun the more you do somthing as a non smoker the easyer it gets. xxx

  • Beverly come back here and tell us you didn't have a fag please....

    At 7 months the thoughts must be so rare now. But yes, i find i still have days when a thought pops up (less and less)

    You know in your heart you do not really want that cigarette. If you had it, it wouldn't even be 30 seconds of aah because you probably not addicted now. You would have to persist for any sort of aah, (maybe a couple -which would make you want more, and more, there's never enough)

    I spent a year and a half quitting and then smoking one, some, a packet, for a few days, it was never worth it. One sent me straight back to day one, and the "enjoyment" of them is a junkie illusion.

    ONe night, nearly five months ago, after i had been posting here for a while, i had done eight days, but tempted on a night out bought packet of ten, smoked them while drinking very quickly, had no money for any more but i wanted more so much i tried to get some in the all night garage with my card which was declined (i was on sick pay at the time and couldn't afford a fiver to poison myself more) It was embarrasssing, but had happened before, because the day before pay day i would use my card to pay for fags cos all that would be in my account would be 6.47 or summat, because i used to smoke 40 a day, which was £80 a week.....

    I decided enough. I hope, i really am sure, i will never smoke again this time. But sometimes my junkie head thinks i want one....But i know that i really don't.

    |Hope you didn't go to asda, like i did and have done many times before.

  • Good Morning Bev or I hope it is a good morning, I honestly think we never become 100% happy with our quit but I really hope we learn to except it and that it gets easier??? Im not convinced it does but time will tell.

    Every now and then it hits me that I want a cig and as I have said before it is a want not really a need but oh how does it grab us and then takes something quite major to swing my mood away from it, how can we so suddenly stop after as many years as some of us have smoked for and not feel bereft without it I know I cant but we must not give in to it, try to tell yourself how good health wise we feel for not smoking and maybe the pangs will pass I hope.

    If you have had a small slip come and be supported and get back into quit again if not the a massive well done either way come back and let us know please we all worry because it could be us we are all so vunerable xxx

  • Angie. I disagree. I think one day i'll wake up and be completely happy as a non smoker. I know it is possible now. It get's easier and easier and when i was an addict my brain was different and telling me different things.

  • I truly hope so jude as the thought of always thinking ciggies would drive me crackers LOL must admit that the craves are really down to about one or two a week so maybe they get less and less I dont want to smoke because my ability to walk up our hill without gasping is brill so thats what keeps me focused its not that I will smoke its that sometimes I want to LOL does that make sense.

  • Hi guys and thanks for the words of support,(stay away from the LOL Jam!)

    I DIDN'T DO IT!

    I went to bed, don't have much time right now I have to go and pick the car up from the garage, I will try to get back on later and post some more.

    Trying really hard to feel proud, but still feeling cravy.

  • Hi guys and thanks for the words of support,(stay away from the LOL Jam!)

    What does that mean or is it related to the last incident of the LOLs ??

    Glad you didn't succumb

  • Well done Bev!!!

    Proud of you!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

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