tried and failed

I have been trying to quit smoking for over 2 years. Each time is the same as the last. goes well for a couple of days then the urge consumes me again and i break and buy a pack..then for weeks or even months I say this is the last day. Seems like a vicious cycle!!:mad: I have a 2 yr old daughter named Julianna and I want to be there for her as she grows up. I know if this is going to be a realization that I MUST quit!! My problem comes to association of smoking with everything I do, its almost like I don't think I could do anything that I didn't envolve smoking in someway. I need some help...any suggestions would be welcomed. Thanks Justin

17 Replies

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  • What methods have you been using??

    In all honesty you really really have to be in the right mind set and a will of steel. Have you thought of champix via your doctor?

    Good luck

  • I have tried patch, pills, and cold turkey...cold turkey has worked the longest.

    I have used chantex but that made me angry as hell...lol I really want to do it, but maybe i haven't put all the ideas together at one time to make it work

  • I have been trying to quit smoking for over 2 years. Each time is the same as the last. goes well for a couple of days then the urge consumes me again and i break and buy a pack..then for weeks or even months I say this is the last day. Seems like a vicious cycle!!:mad: I have a 2 yr old daughter named Julianna and I want to be there for her as she grows up. I know if this is going to be a realization that I MUST quit!! My problem comes to association of smoking with everything I do, its almost like I don't think I could do anything that I didn't envolve smoking in someway. I need some help...any suggestions would be welcomed. Thanks Justin

    HI Justin,

    I know how you feel, i did the same thing for a very long time as well! IT is almost like playing a game.

    There are some really good posts on here, one about the 'nicodemon' and another about it being 'all in the head', for me these two post bought it all together.

    It really is just something you have to just get on with, put it out of your mind and get on with it. It is what you make it, if you beleive it is hard then it will be and if you beleive it is easy then it will be the choice is yours.

    Good luck, hope you find the strength.

    Molsta

  • One Missing Ingredient ?

    I have spoken to loads of people about smoking and stopping, in fact I am becoming a nuisance, picking every ones brain I meet, it seems to me that the successful stoppers have one extra ingredient to help with the patches, pills or whatever. They really want to stop and realise that everything else is just there to assist in the short term to help them over the withdrawel symptoms. I have been on the patches and will use my last one this Sunday and then I am expecting next week to be difficult, but somehow I will manage. It is not easy to pack in smoking and if anyone says that it is, they are misleading you and not really helping. The nurse at the chemists said to me that I had cracked it after about 5 weeks, as if it was easy! I had been crying the day before and had so much tension you wouldn't believe it. Sadly the nurse had never smoked and did not fully appreciate the problems with stopping. If you want to stop keep trying and when you are ready you will succeed. It is not easy, its very difficult. Most of the people I have spoken to seem to blame stressful periods (times) for starting smoking again, Xmas, special events, whatever. I tried to use all the info from people and have somehow convinced myself that a fag will not change anything therefore why bother. I have had desperate moments and difficult times but I will not give in and will struggle on. If you really want to stop you will eventually succeed.

    About three months before stopping I started to change the brand of ciggy I smoked and managed to find a brand that was disgusting to say the least and I smoked them for the three months, in the end my throat was sore, I was coughing and did not enjoy them at all, when I started on the patches it was in someways a relief to come off them. I won't say what brand, I don't know if we are allowed, but they were cheap at about £4.20p a pack. Best of luck and I hope you succeed soon. There is lots of really good advice on this forum from real people doing real things, If you read and search you will be able to find someone with identical problems and advice to help.

    Good luck

  • hey, hey,

    You do have to get into a certain mindset to quit.

    I span around for a year and half on ptches,,,without actually fully doing it, i kept quitting, restarting the quit again...etc.etc...

    You can do it, and it really, really, isn't as hard as you think....?

    Are you ready? We can help ya.... trust us. Hey, if i can do i6t, any bggr can do it ... seriously.:eek:

  • The true need and want to quit is the key. I tryed 2 times before and didn't really want to quit. My reasons were its time or I need to do this cause its killin me or a bunch of other reasons. What did it was bring at the point I was so fed up with myself and the smokes that I was just done. That does not mean it was easy, it was still hard as hell. I just held my hand over the fire till it went out over and over and over again. I'm nearing 7 months right now and am finally at a point where I don't think about ciggs every 20 min but it took a lot of visiting this site, reading the links here and talking myself out of that smoke. Not letting this addiction talk me into smoking. Quitting sucks but it's so worth it. Search your soul and make the decision for yourself and then put your best foot forward. I look forward to seeing your first week post. You can do it.:D

  • Hi

    This is just torture for you that i can understand. Here's my advice.

    1. Have you tried writing a list of REASONS why you want to stop? i found this helped. I put my reasons down here on the forum and i have gone back to look at them in times of need and it really helped.

    2. Have identified when you started smoking and why you started? Who were you at that point in life? were you happy/unhappy? are you still that person? (this really helps if you can have a good look indide yourself.)

    3. Each time you put a fag out what is the first thing that enters your head? Try to be aware of what you know is right for you.

    4. WILL POWER and lots of it. You already know you have it. I have a lack of will power but i can be stubborn. Once i decided to quit i just faced it, the cold turkey was evil esp as my oh walked out on me, kids were driving me mad and i was PMT. It was HELL but knew my body was doing what it's supposed to do and so i rode it out.

    YOU CAN DO THIS. remember that.

    5. Read everyones signitures, talk to us and me, remain positive and strong, replace negative affirmations with positive ones and always remind yourself 'I CAN DO THIS'

    Lots of luck, i have full faith in you quitting for good.

  • Hi Justin

    Yep, same as everyone else on here, I would say the most important thing is that you want to quit. By 'want', I mean that you have to become slightly obsessive about it. Think about it all the time, plan how you will do it, imagine yourself as a non smoker - all of that helps. Read Allan Carr so you understand your own mindset, and know how to deal with it. Speak to a smoking cessation counsellor if you llike - it helps some people to know they have a weekly 'check in'. Come on here a lot - there's a lot of support here and whatever you are going through, somebody will have been there.

    Despite what others say, it really doesn't have to be that hard, if you do all the above. Because you associate smoking with everything you do, I really do recommend reading Allan Carr. Try a few things and see what works for you. You can enjoy yourself as a non smoker, honest! I was at the pub last night with 7 smoking friends and didn't mind a bit - never thought I'd be able to say that, but it honestly didn't cross my mind.

    You can do it - just choose your method, study for it, then go for it!

    Good luck

    Lottie x

  • And yes, be prepared. It isn't easy, and you will get cravings and urges. Most important thing is not to smoke when you get them. Then they go away! The association thing is massive, but just do the thing without smoking, and the association will be broken. The one after meals goes away pretty quickly simply because you eat three times a day.

    I found reading about drug addiction really helpful- in that we are going through a drug withdrawal, and that all the thoughts we have about cigarettes, like they help us with stress, they are nice, etc. are caused by nicotine being an addictive drug. The "I'd kill for a cigarette- is -i need my drugfix. " The "I'd love a cigarette- is my nicotine levels are low again , i enjoyed that cigarette because the nicotine levels have risen.....

  • I have been trying to quit smoking for over 2 years. Each time is the same as the last. goes well for a couple of days then the urge consumes me again and i break and buy a pack..then for weeks or even months I say this is the last day. Seems like a vicious cycle!!:mad: I have a 2 yr old daughter named Julianna and I want to be there for her as she grows up. I know if this is going to be a realization that I MUST quit!! My problem comes to association of smoking with everything I do, its almost like I don't think I could do anything that I didn't envolve smoking in someway. I need some help...any suggestions would be welcomed. Thanks Justin

    My own daughter no longer even remembers me as a smoker .. standing out the back on our patio puffing away on a cigarette every single hour of the day on weekends.

    I've tried to quit on other occasions, some i fell flat on my backside trying, others i lasted quite some months, and then stupidly started again because i thought 'just one' wouldn't matter.. 'just one' wouldn't get me hooked again.. but they did.. they always did.. thats how they are designed.

    So what changed this time?

    Well, one thing that i considered very important for me to succeed was sheer determination and .. much stubbornness too.. i knew i would not quit and go the distance if my heart was not in it.. so i started by making a list .. a pen n paper list of all the reasons why i 'chose' to smoke.. and under each reason i put as many opposites to that as possible as to why my reason was unjustified, and why i didn't really need a smoke to do that particular thing. I finished that exercise with nothing that justified smoking except for one single thing... 'addiction'.

    Drug Addiction. Its as simple as that.. and I decided i did not want to spend the rest of my life as a drug addict , particularly one that the government seemed to be making alot of money out of in taxes and duty, and one where the supply that feeds that addiction is in every newsagents and petrol garage.

    So i made the choice to stop, and also to stop lying to myself that i 'needed' to smoke. I added up just how much i spent on cigs in just one year and when i saw £2080 on my calculator, i then looked at my car .. 10 year old car on its last legs and all the time i'd been saying.. if only i could afford a better one? Well that car I scrapped last year and bought a much much newer one. (not brand new, but heck, in my eyes when i see the leather interior and one thats not been smoked in.. it made me realise that i was spending my money much wiser!)

    I won't pretend quitting is just an easy exercise though, i was determined, i was stubborn.. but it took work.. it took endurance and it took focus.. but the results i've felt, and the feeling of pride.. and well being.. on top of all the better health and money aspects have really solidified my quit into something i never want to lose now.

    YOU CAN DO THIS TOO!!!

    Use this forum just as I have. Its full of good folk who have the same goal, and these are real people just like you or I. Not paid professionals to help you quit who haven't got a damn clue what you are going through? No.. they are good people who just care.

    Stick with the no smoking thing.. trust me.. your 2yr old 'julianna' will love the new you that is able to play with her more and run with her in the park without you getting knackered all the time either. You may not be able to see it immediately, but over time you see so much more that you become capable of.

    So best of luck, truly.. best of luck.

    get determined.. and fight this thing.

  • I have read through all the post and this is wonderful..each time I read a new reply it makes me feel as though i have a ton of people standing around me telling me to keep my head up and I will do it. I have the power and tomorrow will be the first day of a new life for me, I don't want to worry about getting cancer or anything else that will destroy my life!! I am ready! Iam ready, I know this will be a fight within my self and Im ready to WIN!! I look forward to posting tomorrow night about my first smoke free day, and every other day past that. I will beat this addiction and I won't go back. The funny thing is I purchased my last pack this morning and it was somewhat sad. I know Im going to do it, yet i feel as though Im losing someone...it sounds weird I guess! Well thanks for all the support and great ideas and look forward to talking with you soon!! Justin

  • The funny thing is I purchased my last pack this morning and it was somewhat sad. I know Im going to do it, yet i feel as though Im losing someone...it sounds weird I guess!

    Fit anything into your life for so long and you will have a sense of loss feeling when that thing is suddenly removed.

    Don't worry though the feeling of loss is quite common, but you soon come to regard cigarettes as something you'd rather do without anyway.

    You will find that alot of the quitting process will involve breaking those associations you had with smoking, its a bit like a re-education, you'll get used to doing many things without needing a smoke first.. and soon enough realise you never really needed a smoke at all to get anything done.

    The first weeks of quitting will require work on your part, but you are not going to let this beat you .. oh no! you'll beat this one down, and your daughter i'm sure will appreciate over the years all the effort you put in now.

  • hi jdslater

    ure doing good to keep trying..it will eventually just all click for with your quit whichever method you choose.............I so know the feeling of stopping & starting & i found it quite upsetting.......have you tried hypno tapes?? i was quite sceptical.....still am to an extent ..although i used the p.mckenna one on this quit (& patches --wasnt brave enuff:eek:)....I really dont know if it worked or not..only listened to it a few times...but this quit just feels different..like my PMA is still strong xx

    Good luck..you will do it & when it does all come into place..you will jsut know it & have a huge sense of relief xxx

    hope ive helped a ikkle bit xxxx

  • I have been trying to quit smoking for over 2 years. Each time is the same as the last. goes well for a couple of days then the urge consumes me again and i break and buy a pack..then for weeks or even months I say this is the last day. Seems like a vicious cycle!!:mad: I have a 2 yr old daughter named Julianna and I want to be there for her as she grows up. I know if this is going to be a realization that I MUST quit!! My problem comes to association of smoking with everything I do, its almost like I don't think I could do anything that I didn't envolve smoking in someway. I need some help...any suggestions would be welcomed. Thanks Justin

    The problem may be that your associations may be too strong. Heres what I would do if I was in your shoes

    1. List out the times and when you smoke in a notepad

    2. Start cutting down at certain times so for e.g. if you smoke with a coffee early morning, DONT COMPLETELY CUT DOWN, I KNOW IT WILL BE DIFFICULT A TIP USE NICOTINE CHEWING GUM AT THOSE TIMES.

    3. Keep on decreasing your smoking until its at the very minimum and try to do it randomly.

    4. Once you break your associations, and you are smoking at random times than you start using NRT or CHANTIX..

    Thats my tip

    Believe me after two months now, the urges have left, there are days when I dont think of smoking and the whole idea seems alien to me.. also one tip..

    NEVER FIGHT THE ADDICTION, YOU WILL LOSE..

    As Allen Carr highlighted in his book, you have to accept and let go..

  • just dont pick one up ;p

  • Hey JD,

    Without reading all through this thread, I just wanted to say that no matter how hard it gets, no matter when your counting down the seconds, pulling your hair out, feeling fed up, gagging to stick a cig in your mouth etc etc, the only person who can do it is you.

    I can only assure you and anyone else reading this that as time passes, the urges get less and less until you don't have the urges anymore, and you really do live your life as a clean non-smoker.

    I too had many weak pathetic quit attempts only to give in by lunchtime, but the truth is that you have to go through the quit process, get over the cravings, not give into them. Its the only way to beat the addiction.

    And something that helped me when I felt weak, pathetic and sorry for myself was to thank god I wasnt a heroin addict, who pain and urges are apparently 100% greater than an ex-smoker!

    So stop being weak, think of your child, and do it!!!!

    You will thank yourself for it down the road my friend when your a clean non-smoker, I promise you that!

  • chest xray

    Just had a diazapan to help me through the night. This will see me through until 2am then pacing around the house until 9am. Going to quit coffee as I believe caffinated coffee is causing my inability to get a nights sleep. This is all a fast learning curve. Any tips on what to avoid most welcome. Had a phone call from an old teenage friend an hour ago who lives on his own. He tells me he is now on diomorphine for liver failure. It looks bad. I am going to visit him tomorrow & give him a hand in getting his affairs in order. I then visit my GP. & get my chest xray results. I am worried sick awaiting my results. Will post my day tomorrow evening

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