Confused

Ok, I am feeling confused as to where I should post, I know this has been discussed before and a lot of you will say it doesn't really matter where I post, and it is up to me and what feels right for me, but I don't feel right posting in the 2 weeks part because I don't feel like I did at 2 weeks, and the people that are going through that phase should be reading posts about what other 2 weekers are feeling. I don't feel happy about posting in here because I had 2 fags on the 11/2/10 and therefore I have not been nicotine free for over 5 months!

I don't want a fag, I don't ever want to smoke again, am I a fraud if I continue my quit counter even tho I had 2 fags? Should I reset my counter as this is the only real way to make sure that I am honest with myself and the forum? Should I shut up, go away and stop whinging? :eek:

Hope the above makes some kinda sense, and hope your replies do too!!

Thanks

21 Replies

oldestnewest
  • I understand your conflict, you having said something and now you want to stick with it..... BUT you were under stress, felt guilt about the blip, etc, etc..... you didn't start smoking again so that defines it as a blip. Blips are sooooo dangerous as most often people start to smoke again but you didn't so you're still on track! So as I said before.... forget about the 2 week thing!

    Now shut up ;) xxx

  • Two months ago I would have said, tough back to the start with you. Then 5 weeks ago I had a drag of a fag (hand on heart 1 drag) and I was guilt ridden for weeks. However now I can say I am honesty pleased I had that drag and frankly there is a good chance I will have another drag at some stage in my life.

    I have gone from 30 a day to 1 drag every 4 months, big deal and in fairness Bev you should look at it the same way, 2 fags well whoppi do! No big deal, you have gone from 20 a day (?) to 2 in 6 months. I would live with those odds. Besides it is no-ones business but yours.

    That's my opinion.:)

  • Sorry long post (nowt bad, just me being rambly as always.. hope it makes some sense)

    Its a tough call .. the problem with blips, or succumbing is that you feel so damn bad for letting yourself down, and you really kick yourself and go through hell mentally due to the blip.. especially when you know too that those cigs really weren't all you'd beefed them up to be.. you romance the idea of a smoke, then the event happens, and your left feeling temporarily fulfilled but with this horrible empty disappointed feeling. Its bloody awful, i've been there and truth be told when it happened to me i didn't get on with quitting again.. i left it for months.. and smoked my head off in the meantime.. now THAT is failing..

    but 2 smokes, drags or whatever is not the same as saying 'ah to hell with it, lets just start smoking again' is it? its just not.. and if you've been true to yourself and got back on the quitting horse and rode on.. then thats took strength. The 2 smokes will have played havoc up in your head as the craves for more intensify, and if you got through that and clawed the quit back then surely thats a quit rescued? Just remember you cannot defy the laws of addiction, so don't make a habit of the odd one.. distance yourself now as much as you can from them

    My opinion and one that differs to how i would have replied to these sorts of posts last year is...

    the quit is yours.. at the end of the day its not up to how everyone else feels, its up to how you feel... just don't allow any more smokes into your life because then you really should consider if you may be an occasional smoker or not.. i am thinking you are NOT and it was an isolated mistake, one which you should not beat yourself up over forever.. you'll never get your mind wrapped fully round the quit if you don't fully deal with past mistakes.

    You are human, humans make mistakes.. some of us make several, and the truly lucky make none. We're all different, but our goal here is the same.. to quit smoking and you are doing just that.

  • frankly there is a good chance I will have another drag at some stage in my life.

    Sorry to put my two cents in here but I would really think about what you said there Christine! A drag in itself is not a big deal except with it comes the possibility of becoming a smoker again. A lot about becoming a non smoker is mental.... reprogramming our thinking, not making fags more than they actually are... a non smoker does not consider taking a drag at some point in their life.... I believe in taking care with what one says as our words often come alive in our reality. Just something to think about ;)

  • Bev Hun only you know where you should be but one lapse one evening does not break the quit.

    No one has the right to judge anyones quit. It is individual to us all and I for one respect that you admitted to the cigs have not had any since.

    You stay where you feel comfortable love

    L x

  • Thanks for the responses guys, I think on the whole I have to go with the fact that it was a blip, and carry on, as long as I register the fact that I had the 2 then I am not cheating myself or anyone else.

    So my quit counter today reads 5months 21days and 21hours.

  • Two months ago I would have said, tough back to the start with you. Then 5 weeks ago I had a drag of a fag (hand on heart 1 drag) and I was guilt ridden for weeks. However now I can say I am honesty pleased I had that drag and frankly there is a good chance I will have another drag at some stage in my life.

    I have gone from 30 a day to 1 drag every 4 months, big deal and in fairness Bev you should look at it the same way, 2 fags well whoppi do! No big deal, you have gone from 20 a day (?) to 2 in 6 months. I would live with those odds. Besides it is no-ones business but yours.

    That's my opinion.:)

    I get what you mean there Christine, i have never had a drag or a full cig since i quit last August , but knowing you i knew what you meant by it and admire your honesty, there is also a good chance you wont have one either who is to say what happens in the future you can only choose to do or not do something.

  • Hi Bev,

    Sorry to hear you are feeling confused. The only thing I can say to you is that if I had 1 drag of a cigarette now after 27 days of not smoking I would immediately put myself back to day one. Reason being my quit counter represents how many days I have not smoked. I'm a strong believer that you smoke or you don't. To me stopping smoking is a very serious situation and I would be mortified with myself if I had a cigarette now. It isn't supposed to be easy and I know that there cannot be any 'blips' in my quit. These blips that everyone keeps mentioning seem to undervalue the importance of not smoking.

    Be strong Bev and good luck with your new quit.

    xxx

  • I get what you mean there Christine, i have never had a drag or a full cig since i quit last August , but knowing you i knew what you meant by it and admire your honesty, there is also a good chance you wont have one either who is to say what happens in the future you can only choose to do or not do something.

    Thank you my love. For a woman I am as straight as they come, I'm a career girl through and through which means being tough and disciplined on ones self, hence the reason I do not lie or delude myself. This is just the way I am.

    I fully intend to never be a 'professional smoker' again but I am not stupid enough to say I will never have a drag, I hope I never have a cigarette I really do and I am very proud of myself for walking away when I was offered one. However that drag really did change my quit for the better which is hard to explain and I DO NOT recommend others to follow my lead.

    My point is none of us knows what is going to be thrown at us in this life and having 2 fags at 6 months of a quit is not worth beating yourself up for or for others to hang you for. It's your quit and you have to manage your own quit.

    I would love to say I will never be a serial killer, however you just never know:D

  • Hi Bev

    I'm so sorry I haven't responded sooner. I wasn't aware of your BLIP til now. It is YOUR quit but I would say just to class it as a BLIP.

    Congratulations you are nearly at the 6 month mark :D

    Keep strong hunni

    Tinks xx :)

  • Thank you my love. For a woman I am as straight as they come, I'm a career girl through and through which means being tough and disciplined on ones self, hence the reason I do not lie or delude myself. This is just the way I am.

    I fully intend to never be a 'professional smoker' again but I am not stupid enough to say I will never have a drag, I hope I never have a cigarette I really do and I am very proud of myself for walking away when I was offered one. However that drag really did change my quit for the better which is hard to explain and I DO NOT recommend others to follow my lead.

    My point is none of us knows what is going to be thrown at us in this life and having 2 fags at 6 months of a quit is not worth beating yourself up for or for others to hang you for. It's your quit and you have to manage your own quit.

    I would love to say I will never be a serial killer, however you just never know:D

    Well just remember i am your friend :eek::D

  • I would love to say I will never be a serial killer, however you just never know

    That's a good point.... I hope I don't turn into a sheep on my way to work.... it would just be too weird..... but you're right, you just never know!!

  • Hi bev

    stay where you are at. you know you dont want to smoke, so only one way to go forwards.. no going back :)

  • Hi Bev I agree with some cant remember who it was but I dont think you should have gone back.

    Smoke day after day and end of quit couple of puffs and its a slip

    Congrats on your looooong quit xx

  • Ok, I am feeling confused as to where I should post, I know this has been discussed before and a lot of you will say it doesn't really matter where I post, and it is up to me and what feels right for me, but I don't feel right posting in the 2 weeks part because I don't feel like I did at 2 weeks, and the people that are going through that phase should be reading posts about what other 2 weekers are feeling. I don't feel happy about posting in here because I had 2 fags on the 11/2/10 and therefore I have not been nicotine free for over 5 months!

    I don't want a fag, I don't ever want to smoke again, am I a fraud if I continue my quit counter even tho I had 2 fags? Should I reset my counter as this is the only real way to make sure that I am honest with myself and the forum? Should I shut up, go away and stop whinging? :eek:

    Hope the above makes some kinda sense, and hope your replies do too!!

    Thanks

    You would only be a fraud if you wanted to smoke again and listen sweetheart don't you dare go away we all need you here. OKAY!!

    I've gone now nearly three months I have not smoked but if it had happened and I had only smoked two cigs in that three months I would still be chuffed to bits with myself and so should you.

    Jack xx

  • I was talking to client who was telling me she had been smoke free for 7 months, except for the 5 she had on a week-end away, and the 3 she had at Christmas and the couple at New Year and she had a ‘secret’ pack of 10 for emergencies!! That in my eyes is a social smoking which I actually have no problem with but why do people lie?

    Some people really are deluded:eek: Client or no client I told her this.

  • Ok now I am confused again!

    What is it that you do Christine? Your clients are gypsys?

    Wanted to thank you all again for all the support, and I agree with the majority of you who think that I carry on with my quit, and Jack yes I am feeling very chuffed and don't worry I am not going anywhere, when I get rid of this cold I will be back to posting and supporting often.

  • Bev

    Hello there - sorry I've missed this (pesky work again). But I posted something when you put a message in Day 1.

    Must say I agree with everyone else - its your quit so put yourself in a place you feel comfortable.

    Personally - I think you belong here - and well done for getting here!

  • Bev

    Hello there - sorry I've missed this (pesky work again). But I posted something when you put a message in Day 1.

    Must say I agree with everyone else - its your quit so put yourself in a place you feel comfortable.

    Personally - I think you belong here - and well done for getting here!

    Thanks for the support, soon be your 6 months and then the count down to the Penthouse, me you and that grumpy yank all in the hot tub together!!

  • Bev hun your in 6 months. Being able to stick with it after smoking again and continue in my opinion is amazing. I don't lie to myself either which is why I can;t have just one smoke or puff, if I did I would be a full on smoker again till I talked myself into quitting again, there would be no ...ok back on the wagon in the morning or the next day. Two cigg's in all this time? BAH to hell with it, what we are doing is tough to do right!!!! Do what you need to do to continue to be successful. I would think being honest with yourself will help you the most though.I say your a 6 monther and stop beating yourself up.

    love ya hun;)

  • Morning Bev :)

    A blip is just that a blip or if you like a couple of fags end of story and in no way a reason to take yourself back to day one or whatever OK

    You had 2 and then no more so carry on with the quit

    Love

    Marg xx

You may also like...