god 2 of us stopping in the same house

[nsd_user663_5083]

hi me and my girlfriend have stopped smoking at the same time we are on day 2 but the girlfriend is getting nasty and i think its going to push me back to smoking ........what should i do?

[nsd_user663_4026]

concentrate on your own quit. Its the addiction thats trying to find an excuse to quit quitting! The nicodemon as some say. I've had failed quits before when i've used the excuse of a grumpy husband quitting at the same time to start smoking again. HAve a look at some of links and post on here when the craves get bad. It doesn't take long for them to pass. A rule I had at the begining was to post on here when I had a crave, I wasn't allowed to cave until i'd had 4 replies, by which time the craves had passed.

Good luck. Its the best thing you and your girlfriend will ever do.

[nsd_user663_3633]

hi me and my girlfriend have stopped smoking at the same time we are on day 2 but the girlfriend is getting nasty and i think its going to push me back to smoking ........what should i do?

Nothing.

Smoking requires a physical act. Put a cigarette in your mouth and light it.

Don't.

It sounds flippant - and it kind of is... but it is true also.

I know how difficult it can be to deal with this sort of thing, so why not go out somewhere? Take your girlfriend if you wish and go and do something you don't often do (this way there will be little or no association with smoking). Maybe somewhere where you can't smoke? Cinema or something?

Just occupying yourselves for a few hours will make a big difference to your mindset.

[nsd_user663_4990]

All i can tell you is that your addiction will make you see things that are simply not true.. any nastiness, horribleness that you see is every bit created by the very evil way that nicotine addiction works its way into your brain.

when you suddenly stop its supply, you become ratty, short tempered and irrational, but it really does pass.

I concur the above post that suggests doing something different, going for a walk is something i do when i get any major moments of the problems you describe and that doesn't necessarily mean alone, although if need be this can be considered.

I tell ya, if my neighbour had a dog, he would be the best walked dog in town, but what matters more than anything... is that you acknowledge that the problem is NOT with your partner, especially if you are both trying to quit smoking, but it is the addiction .. the problem is entirely the addiction.

I don't know really what best to suggest as my fiancé doesn't smoke, but i have had a few nights where I was very unreasonable and thank god i was made to see it too as i think so far during my entire quit this time this has been the only time where i have truly been tested.

Look after each other, but perhaps consider staggering your quit attempts as a final option if things are unbearable so that one of you is 4 weeks ahead of the other and 'coping' and in a better position to support the other from a more 'understanding' position? (if that makes sense)?

Right now you are two wasps caught under a glass on a pub table.. can't get out and go anywhere :).. i know its hard, but from a 3rd person looking in at what you describe, you either need to expand the space your caught in to include getting out for a bit so the walls aint closing in on you, or you release one wasp to give the other a fighting chance.

[nsd_user663_3728]

Hi Philip

Well done both of you getting to day 2 judt hang in there

If you're finding it difficult just take yourself out for a walk, or just do something to distract yourself

Love

Marg xxxxxxxxx

[nsd_user663_4625]

hi me and my girlfriend have stopped smoking at the same time we are on day 2 but the girlfriend is getting nasty and i think its going to push me back to smoking ........what should i do?

Umm, try & distance yourself just for the quitting fags bit. Try to support her with the right words & sounds then go & stick a something in yoiur mouth & bite down on it if you have to. Chances are you will say to her what you beleive yourself?? You just have to be able to do that & FEEL it yourself.Hopefully she will return the favour when you need it. Hey, quitting is crap, we all know that, but taking it out on someone else does not help, I know I tried it LOL. My hubby & I nearly killed each other once. Hopefully you will be both in the frame of mind to help each other, talk about how you are feeling, noew matter how trivial you might think, hold hands & sail through it together.

Love Gaynor xxx

[nsd_user663_4685]

hi me and my girlfriend have stopped smoking at the same time we are on day 2 but the girlfriend is getting nasty and i think its going to push me back to smoking ........what should i do?

Easy said then done I know but don't give in to the cravings no matter how hard they push you.. There will probably be more arguments I expect, but you need to walk away from them and take five minuets out from everything and put it down to not smoking after the cravings have past you will both be fine again, but if you give in to them cravings you will have to start back at day one and day one isn't the best of days but then again it can be looked at as the best day because that was the day you stopped.

[nsd_user663_4625]

You can beat this

Easy said then done I know but don't give in to the cravings no matter how hard they push you.. There will probably be more arguments I expect, but you need to walk away from them and take five minuets out from everything and put it down to not smoking after the cravings have past you will both be fine again, but if you give in to them cravings you will have to start back at day one and day one isn't the best of days but then again it can be looked at as the best day because that was the day you stopped.

I quit agree Ozzy, it is hard if you & your partner are feeling grrrrrrrrrrrr at the same time. try to walk away as Ozzy says, take five, remember ehu YOU are doing this then get back on it. easier said thyen doen but son't use someone else as your excuse to smoke. You will Feel so GREAT when you get over it.

lOve G.

PS On MSN if your fee Ozzy.

xxx

[nsd_user663_3728]

Hi Austyn

Good to hear from you again was wondering where you'd got to

Love

Marg xxxxxxxxxxx

[nsd_user663_4990]

I just said to my fiancé, 'look, i know i'm going to be moody.. grouchy.. but i need you to know that no matter how bad i seem, i still love you and i'm sorry in advance now for anything i say out of turn'.

Just saying it helped.. but talking about it is better than both of you going off on one and not talking afterwards.

You could always do what i sometimes do tho, if i feel myself getting a bit moody and realise, it, i blow a raspberry at her and just go.. ahh ignore me i'lll be ok in 5 mins

[nsd_user663_4990]

of course there is a certain 5 days in every month where you need to retreat and give the lass the space she needs too.. more so now.

A box of chocolates timed just right may help there