I'm gonna crack!

hi all I'm new here and coming to the end of day two.

this is the first time I've attempted to properly quit cigarettes following a 20-25 day habit.

I never thought it would be this hard.

I hate that I will end up starting up again if day 3 is as hard as these two have been.

how bad tomorrow of all days!

I can't perform at work and have no motivation to complete other tasks I need to do.

part of me thinking to have a smoke, do my stuff, then quit.

my brain is countering every benefit to giving up its unbelievable.

I'm on patches and inhilator and my cravings last 2-3 minutes... but seem to come every 30 secs.

even as I type this im frantically sucking the inhilator whilst trying to convince myself its the nicotine and not the habit I miss.

got an appointment with the nurse on friday. she scares me. I may cancel my appointment if I start smoking again.

day two is harder than day one!

shall I give in, learn my lesson that fags are useless, then start again? I want to.

sorry for the rant and stuff. the "nic demon" is sitting on my shoulder....

EDIT: I've just noticed how horrible (and weird) my post is for other newbies preparing for their own day two.

everyone is different and this is simply my own experience.

16 Replies

  • Welcome to the forum, Willies..... you sound very stressed out and I KNOW how you feel...... truly. Attempted many quits, many different ways and always felt too much panic to get through the first few days.... that is me..... you are right, everyone is different. My ex read Allen Car's Easyway to stop smoking... and I swear he had a good time quitting and has not smoked in 6 years..... it was never a problem for him.... BUT it is not like that for everyone..... fails are good if you pay attention to WHY you failed and prepare for that next time around.... my current and last quite was VERY, VERY planned and thought about. I see many 'spontaneous' quits fail and that's not terrible because you can learn from it when you pay attention. Read and learn about the addiction and how it affect YOU. I want to tell you to hang in there...... I also hate seeing you frustrated and in obvious 'pain'. You will make that decision no doubt and either way you will do fine! We are here for you.... negative thoughts will bring on cravings more and more.... try to :):):)

  • AND congrats on day 2!!!

  • hello, im new on heare and im on day one, ithink it is good that you are rearly honest with your feelings if you hide when your having a rearly tough time no one can help and we all need help doing this. i also think it gives others the chance to see that we are not on our own with these feelings, let them out, i have just read something on one of the link pages, from the tales there is a poem called you come too, it makes quite good reading, i have four children and finding it difficult to stay positive, my attitude can change in seconds, boredom is the worst and i am trieing to make being at home, playing with jigsaws and colouring books in between doing the household tasks be a little more exciting but somehow it aint working. BUT hopefully we will all support each other on here and it will help. take care.

  • hey there, Im totally with you on this one. yesterday (read my many posts!!) i had a horrible day, that really lasted all day. the nic demon tuanted and teased me and did its best to try and make me submit. but i read stuff on here, went on websites, changed my profile, anything to take your focus away from the nic demon.

    Believe me tomorrow will be better, dont give up. in fact dont think about tomorrow just focus on giving that nic demon a good kicking!!


  • ps the best thing I did was ditch the patches yesterday, i had patches and gum and it was sending me abit doolally.


  • Hi Willis, I can totally understand what u are going through because at some point during the quit most people experience what u are experiencing. U r doing really well Willis and u don't want to have to stop that. Think of it this way - if u start again, do u want to go through the agony of stopping again? U can do it, u kno u can - yes it will be hard, but the benefits in the long run are great!!!

    Keep it up :)

  • Just remember you are not giving anything up. Its easy to write it down I know, but sometimes not so easy to follow. Use the links on some of the posters threads. It helps greatly. This one is good. For anyone on day one or longer.


    Try and read it. Its truly inspirational. x

  • Hi Willis :D

    Woah there no you are not going to crack at least not until you have read this

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    Best Wishes


  • thanks everyone for their kind words. I was so panicky last night and frantically looking for a support forum like this one.

    ended up totally letting it out and sincere apologies to anyone who are finding it hard enough as it is without reading that.

    unfortunately I've been smoking since this morning and totally gutted by it.

    yes the first was great even with the head rush and had my second one annoyingly without even thinkin about it.

    truth is though.. the tasks and work that I was so struggling to do.. still can't do.

    I feel lethargic, downbeat, and actually feel a bit worthless at the moment.

    whether I feel its right time to quit or "want to" quit I don't know. maybe this contributed to the serious struggle in the first place.

    already I'm dreading the nightmare of trying again now I know how it feels.

    I'm seeing my nurse on friday and she's gonna ask me if I actually want to quit.

    if I say yes I don't know if I'd be lying or not.

    hopefully I'll see you all on day one but I honestly don't know...

  • hi willis..dont meen this the way it sounds,,,but you must want to stop in the first place,,you have to teach your mind ,that you dont want to smoke any more,,just go for it willis,,its not as bad as you think it is,honest,all of us on here went throught what you are going throught,,and look at us now,,some are 1 month,,2 months,,3 months etc etc etc,,so there is light at the end of the tunnel willis,,we are here for you ,,day,, night,,you just have to keep the faith tony keep

  • Will

    Sorry to hear your back smoking but whats done is done. Maybe you should read a few of the sites in members posts most people find them very help full. I think the mind set can make the quit easy or hard just because you found it hard yeasterday dont mean the next quit will be hard. xxxxx Ps hope to see you back soon.

  • thanks guys.

    I have the greatest respect for everyone here.

    it really does make you feel crap if you give in.

    I'm subconsciously lighting up again as if the last two days never happened.

    Only when I stub out I get the feeling of utter regret flooding through.

    now you got me thinking I don't like my nurse because she's helping me quit something I enjoy.

    my head is full of contradictions right now. like the classic devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other.

    I'm gonna give it another go for sure. only this time I feel I need to prepare better.

    does anyone recommend the log book?

    where every cigarette is recorded and a possible counter for that situation?

  • Hi Willis :D

    You do not need to apologise to anyone for anything like this

    You needed to get it off you chest and that's is all that matters and we are here to help you in anyway we can do have a good look at my reply before and then decide if you want to act on it but I really think that reading would be a big help to you and to do that you only have to click on links or read the posts on here

    All the Best


  • hi Willis...

    sorry to hear u had such a cr*p day...but don't beat yourself up about it...you are not alone...many of us been there done that!!!:confused:

    don't quit quitting...I strongly recommend Champix - it deals with the demons in your head - least it did for me...ok it has side effects but not everyone has them and certainly there are many folk on this site who have succeeded w Champix where everything else had failed...myself included...

    but as the others have said, above all else you must get your head in the right place - even with champix - read read and read again and you will know when you are in the zone ready to tackle the demon nicotine...You can do it - I did!!

    stay positive and get back in the saddle as soon as you can...loads of luck - everyone here will support you when you are ready...


  • Hi

    Sorry you feel so bad.

    Most people on here have tried and failed so we understand how you feel.

    I would recommend reading up on the psychology of smoking, this is what I had to do to get my head round it all. It's good because you don't have to stop smoking to read up on this, so worth giving it a go! It will explain why you feel like you enjoy smoking & give you the low down on addiction, because this is the problem - smokers are addicts!!

    I can't stress enough how worth while it would be. I gave up 9th Feb & feel great whereas I was feeling really unfit, knackered etc before that & I'm only 36!!

    Good luck

  • Willies.... don't worry. You will quit when the time comes and you are ready. I was always so frustrated..... I wanted to quit but simply could not convince myself..... I always said I would quit if I could quit while I smoking. I NEVER thought I would make it this far... not sure what the f.... happened. Maybe this forum? Could be for sure. Best of luck to you figuring it all out..... it took me a while as well. But when you make that decision to quit PLEASE come on here and post.... it WILL make it easier for you. See ya....

    ps - I took Valium for almost a week to counter my panic attacks.... not the usual approach on here but it worked for me. No meds for past 3 weeks but certainly increased amount of wine consumption. Good luck to you.

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