help

I am new to this forum and I really need some help:eek: I started smoking when I was 15 and I am now 36 and still doing it. I am ashamed to say I have three children and smoked throughout being pg :mad::mad: Please don't judge me:( I am at my wits end and really want to give up. My longest attempt ever has only been 6 days and then I start again have had many attempts of 1 day 2 days etc. I have tried patches, gum you name allen carr's book but nothing seems to work. I smoke around 15-20 a day at the moment and not in the house or out as am a bit of a secret smoker none of the mums at school know I do. I am not proud of myself and am so scared I am going to die and leave my children without a mum I am hoping joining here and getting some support will help me I want to quit soon very soon.

Thanks for reading

c

7 Replies

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  • Hi Carol :)

    You started smoking at the same age as me but I'm now 65 and I only quit almost 5 months ago

    I really understand your fears and your need to quit

    Carol we never judge anyone OK that's not our place but we will all help you as much as we can that I can promise you

    Have a read below I think you'll find it a big help alright

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    Best Wishes

    Marg xxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi carol, you have just made the best decision ever - to join this forum.

    I too have been a smoker for over 20 years, i have four children and would hide my smoking self from lots of others at school, playgroups etc. And yes ive gone through the quitting process lots of times.

    It eventually gets to the point that it is controlling everything, you want to quit and hate smoking but you smoke all the time just to get through!

    I hated the mind games it was causing for me, i felt guilty, ashamed, unworthy, depressed i could go on and on, but on non smoking day i decided i was quitting i had had enough.

    I joined this forum, i started off with patches and lozengers although im weaning off them at the moment, there is loads of great people on here who will reply to your posts and offer you lots of information to read and read and read, this has been the reason for my success this time, i know im using nrt and others might advise against it, everybody has to choose their own way to quit, but without this forum and the great people on it i know i couldnt have done it.

    Be strong, read all what is on here, get your head in the right place and join us on here, yes you will have bad days and good days, but the support on here will get you through.

    I cant believe ive posted all this to you, hope i dont scare you away, im amazed that ive got this in me (to help others), but your post really struck a chord with me, it was like i was reading my life at the start of my quit and if i can do it, you can too!

    take care, x

    tracy21

    we can all do this together!

  • Thanks for the reply huns and well done on quitting:) I am gonna have a good read and then choose a day (again) I will beat this I know I will just have to focus and try and keep my head whilst doing it. What my problem seems to be is I see smoking as reward and can't seem to change that in my head. I can go all day if out with the kids but as soon as we get back I have to have one. Mad isn't it. Also my husband smokes and so there are always some here when I try so makes it really hard for me to stay strong. He does not want to quit at the moment:confused: I think If I manage it then he will try but it is so hard being a new non smoker with a smoker around. Also I have three children and sometimes life can be stressful with them around :o so in my mind I believe it calms me down, I know that it is not true. my oldest is 8 now and she wants me to stop and understand what it is doing to me etc. I think the reason I started so easily was because my parents smoked and so they couldn't tell me not too which they didn't. I don't want that to happen with them. I want them to see me doing the right thing and for them to be non smokers.

    Have to go now

    Back tommorrow

  • Carol, i really understand your thoughts completely, as i said in my other posts yours really struck a chord, i would smoke more when i was at home and boredom played a really big part of that, as i have begun to understand so much about smoking and the reasons/excuses i would have, it will be easier than you think as you too read the information and begin to question everything yourself.

    My oh is still smoking but he doesnt smoke in the house and he takes his cigs and lighter with him everywhere, but i think he is now starting to consider quitting himself.

    It is an enlightening experience once you know you want to quit, i feel like im learning new things about myself all the time, its like going through a new stage of life, you have to learn how to be a non smoker mentally each day and the benefits start straight away.

    Please keep reading on here and post whenever you want there is always someone to reply.

    tracy21:)

  • Hello tracy I posted and then looked back and noticed your post. Thanks for the reply and you are so right about it controlling everything and making you feel depressed as that is exactly what it does to me:( I hate it and everything about it but as soon as it has gone boy do I want it again. I will and can do this, with a little help from my new friends:) I am gonna have a think and pick a day which is going to be as soon as poss as I am not new to this thinking about giving up thing:D My last pathectic attempt was 24hrs last week. I am so rubbish but not for much longer.

    Goodnight

    c

  • Well done carol, once your ready it will be easier this time and you will have a new addiction, this forum! But at least its a healthy one x

    goodnite and hope to read your posts soon x

    tracy21

  • u'll do it 2

    ther's a link in margaret's post called whyquit- download the book "never take another puff"- make time to read it and it'll change ur mind-

    i'v two sons and i'v failed countless times-now i'm on day 5 and i know i'm never smokn again-th support on this site is great-how can i tell my sons to never smoke if i keep smokn?

    u'v made th rite move dude-u'll b itchn to stop in no time! u'll even b able to join th april shower:eek:

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