And Again I'll try

:eek: I've tried to 'give up' so many times that now I get panic attacks two days in advance. That i'm typing this here in the open actually shows how desperate I am.

the problems:

- the shift key on my keyboard :rolleyes:

- no incentive (divorced, live alone, fags are cheap here, £0.75/pack)

- have read Alan Carr's Easy Way about 10 times and believe him

- i'm a lecturer at a private uni where smoking is allowed everywhere but in the classroom

- now holiday until 20. May, no change of scenery in sight (A.Carr)

- computer freak, 3 packs/day will burn away in the ashtray while I'm doing something on one or all of my computers and of which I actually smoke one/day (fortunately)

The plan:

this Saturday, 14.03.09, will be the first smoke free day (again).

I was born with severe insomnia and have 'enjoyed' it ever since so I'm pretty much used to valium (not addicted though). I can go 2-3 days w/o sleep but then I need a goods night of it.

A search of this forum didn't come up with anything specific to my question.

To counter this senseless feeling of panic I'm planning on putting myself into a semi-sleepy condition starting friday morning and keep it this way until Sunday.

Question is, would that valium reduce my willpower/willingness to not touch a cigarette?

Admin/mods please feel free to move this thread as i didn't know where to put it. Should you consider this post in any way inappropriate then please delete it and if possible inform me by email. Thanks

38 Replies

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  • Bioxx.... welcome! So I have been thinking I was the odd one out but I did indeed medicate myself for about a week with a Valium type med. I knew from past experience that I suffer these crazy panic attack that I only suffer when attempting to stop smoking..... well, so I came prepared.... stopped Feb, 13th, my b-day of all days, medicated (about 2.5 allowed dose :D:D) and don't remember a thing :D but I have kept going and almost at a month now. I have bad days, and the occasional good day.... and I know it will just get easier from now on. I knew in my heart I either smoked the rest of my life or stopped at some point...... so I set a day, popped some Valium and kept going. I am not so thrilled/content/happy at this point but I know it is the right thing for me to do..... hope this helps you in any way and I hope to see you on here in a few days..... stick with it..... stick it out..... :cool:

    ps- no real incentive here either.... except for the knowingness of a smoker who wishes he/she had never started in the first place.

  • thanks for the reply

    hadn't expected such an instant one:)

    2.5 times the dosage??? :cool: that sounds like 'either now or never' :D

    Obviously i've tried too many times and can't see any other way out of it. I hope that reading and posting here helps. The 2.5 times I'm not going to risk as there's nobody about to pick me of the floor should something go wrong :(

  • 2.5 dosage... bad, bad, bad.... (not recommended/listen to your doc) I didn't have one single panic attack though..... ;)

    Point is : you CAN do this if you WANT to..... I was ready and when you are you will be.... and when you are come on here to say hi! See ya, bioxx.....

  • Hi Bio :)

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathiseing with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    You say you will quit on Saturday,may I suggest that you have a really good read on this forum and use the links to read other sites as I feel this may well help you get your mind set in the right direction to make your quit much easier for you

    Post often let us know how you are getting on we are all here for you even before your quit day if you want/need us

    Good Luck

    Marg

  • good luck. can add nothing. am not a valium expert! xx BUT Information and education on the demon will help too xxx

  • Wishing you all the best look forward to seeing you on here, everyone is brilliant tons of support.

  • Hi, welcome to the forum. Marg gave you 2 great links. As most people on this forum I know that reading everything you can about your addiction is the key to quitting and staying quit. I smoked for 35 years solid at 30 a day and I quit. So, if I can do it, anyone can! Keep posting and reading. Set your mind to the quit and you'll be fine. Remember - if you want to quit, you can do it!! Keep smiling:D

  • Thanks a lot to everybody for the great advice. :D I'm surprised that I got that many replies.

    I know that I want to quit, have read a lot about it too. Point is that i think my panic doesn't come from the idea of quitting but because i 'know' that I will fail again. :(

    That's of course the wrong approach but how can i trick my brain into believing that this time is the last and decisive time?

    About the Valium. I know how to handle it and if I'm 'unusable' for a day or two doesn't matter. Nobody around, won't go out (never do)and turn the phone off.

    So tomorrow is the last day of paying for the privilege of killing myself.:confused:

    What am I going to do with all that money? :) Don't drink, don't go to bars ...... maybe a new keyboard would be a good idea.

    Thanks again and see you tomorrow, nighty night (GMT+7)

  • For me it was a case of determination and re-education.

    Choose not to smoke for that day, then the next and so on. After a time you know that you don't need to smoke, but there may still be some panic at the thought of never smoking again, however you just need to reinforce the idea that that is the goal and the anxiety will fade. Couple that with reading all you can about nicotine addiction and how it affects you and it will work, things will fall into place.

    All the best for the 14th, post often.

    Nic

  • Hi Boixx :)

    You do not need to trick your brain at all you need to re-educate it and you can do this by reading and then reading some more and you have time to do this before SAT

    You say you know you will fail again.Sorry you do not know this just tell yourself THIS TIME I WILL NOT FAIL every time you feel wobbly or want a fag out loud if necessary

    As for the money you will save, yes why not buy yourself a keyboard if that is what you want or maybe start going out or have a holiday whatever you want

    As for the Valium be careful as it can be very addictive you do not want to exchange one addiction for another,but that is just because I do not like taking drugs unless I have to and having been a nurse I have seen the damage they can do if used unwisely,but that is entirely up to you

    All the Best

    Marg

  • Hi Boixx :)

    You do not need to trick your brain at all you need to re-educate it and you can do this by reading and then reading some more and you have time to do this before SAT

    Well, looks like I have to put it of a day or two. Too much to read and today is Friday already. When is not so important, that it is the last time is.

    You say you know you will fail again.Sorry you do not know this just tell yourself THIS TIME I WILL NOT FAIL every time you feel wobbly or want a fag out loud if necessary

    Guess i missed that re-education part. Downloaded 4 videos and want to read a bit more (the links provided here)

    As for the money you will save, yes why not buy yourself a keyboard if that is what you want or maybe start going out or have a holiday whatever you want

    :)The keyboard thingy was a joke, a reference to my inability to hit the shift key at the right moment. Despite being a lecturer I can't really type;)

    As for the Valium be careful as it can be very addictive you do not want to exchange one addiction for another,but that is just because I do not like taking drugs unless I have to and having been a nurse I have seen the damage they can do if used unwisely,but that is entirely up to you

    The Valium problem I'll get under control, have been taking it for ages and never increased the dosage, rather go w/o sleep for a night or two than take one more. There's much worse stuff freely available here (Xanax) which I never touch.

    All the Best

    Marg

    Why can't I see the avatars here?

  • Sorry for misspelling Allen Carr's name. I've got the book here but am too scared to look at it.:o

  • Hi Biox :)

    Why are you too scared

    Best wishes

    Marg

  • Hi Biox :)

    Why are you too scared

    Best wishes

    Marg

    Scared of failing again:o

    It's 9pm here so the next few minutes are supposed to be the last smoking minutes in my life. Still about 15 fags left, don't know yet what to do with them, maybe down the toilet is the best option.

    Watched the Allen Carr video today. It's basically a compressed form of the book, even many sentences are exactly the same. Isn't it a shame that I know that book inside out but it still hasn't clicked in my brain.

  • Hi Bioxx

    Don't be scared you can do this we all can

    As for those 15 fags get rid I don't care how, drown them, have a bonfire in the sink whatever but please get rid they will be to much of a temptation for you

    Good Luck

    Marg

  • Sorry, didn't work. It's 14.30 and I'm smoking. I'll be back on this forum as soon as I've actually quit. So far I have nothing to contribute here other than how to fail and feel like s@#t because of it.

    Congrats to everybody who's made it!:D and yes, I do envy you:o

  • Hi Bioxx

    Sorry you've had a blip but don't envy us come join us membership is free HA HA :D

    Don't wait to come on here it will help you even if still smoking you can read posts and click to other sites and post yourself tell us your thoughts and feelings but most important you can start that education so as to be better prepared and know more what to expect when you stop next time and then it will be easier for you

    Don't feel a failure because this time didn't work I lost count of the amount of times I failed but this time I haven't and won't If I can do it anyone can I smoked for over 50 [yes 50] years just keep trying you can do it

    Good Luck

    Marg

  • Thank you (all of you) for the kind words.

    I'll keep trying, it's not out of my mind. I might not post much here but will certainly be lurking about.

    Funny thing is that I control almost every other aspect of my life, including the living alone thing. I wouldn't want to burden anyone to be with me. I can hardly stand myself :eek:

    Priority for now is to look for an opportunity where a real change of my routine is coming. Can't see any yet but there will be one.

  • Hi Bioxx :D

    I live alone as well and it is not easy but have got used to it now but it can be very lonely at times

    I also could control the other parts of my life but this and then after talking to my son who also quit and uses this forum I woke up one morning and said to myself That's it no more Fags, took myself to the Dr for an aid to help the rest as they say is history

    Good Luck

    Margxx

  • Hi Bioxx :D

    I live alone as well and it is not easy but have got used to it now but it can be very lonely at times

    I also could control the other parts of my life but this and then after talking to my son who also quit and uses this forum I woke up one morning and said to myself That's it no more Fags, took myself to the Dr for an aid to help the rest as they say is history

    Good Luck

    Margxx

    I've actually thought about something similar. Get myself to the hospital for a long overdue hernia surgery and instead of just walking out after it stay for 3-4 days, that should do it.

    I've been at this uni for just 6 month and would like to do it during break time, so it's either now (summer break till 20. May) or midterm in September.

  • Hi Bioxx,

    Glad you're still lurking. Sounds like you're somewhere rather nice too!

    I stopped by using champix after trying a few times with patches. I haven't smoked for 31 days and it's not been easy but not so hard I gave in. No cravings for cigarettes - that's the champix- but anxious and panicky. I could maybe do with some Valium!

    People do what they have to do to help them stop. You'll find a way x

    Take care and keep lurking.

    Carole

  • Hi Carole :D

    Good gracious that's gone quick 31 days already well done you hope you are proud of yourself

    Hi Bioxx :D

    Good to hear from you again so glad you're still around good idea to get that hernia fixed and stay a while should give you a good helping hand

    Love to you both

    Margxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hey Marg

    Only been hanging around the forum since a week past Saturday. Wish I'd found it sooner!

    Bioxx- hope you're reading!

    Carole

  • The website is bookmarked right in the middle of the tool-bar, jumps into my face every time I open the browser. :D

    I don't think I'm special but I do think that I need a specially generous kick to finally quit.

    Accompany a friend to a heart clinic today, her dad has to get a bypass operation. Let's see what I get to see there. Normally, I wouldn't be going but every little thing can help. :rolleyes:

    Thanks everybody for the kind words.

  • I don't think I'm special but I do think that I need a specially generous kick to finally quit.

    I wanted to stop smoking for about 8 years before I actually managed to do it.... and many fails in-between... I am only 5 weeks in but this time feels different. You WILL get to that point since you are thinking of wanting to quit...... just don't wait too long because the benefits so out-weigh the fear of quitting.... good luck to you.... and I am pretty sure you ARE special. :):)

  • ...... just don't wait too long because the benefits so out-weigh the fear of quitting.... good luck to you.... and I am pretty sure you ARE special. :):)

    I think I know about the benefits and I want my energy back. That's part of the problem. I certainly know a lot about smoking and how 'healthy' it is but still can't quit and hate myself for it.

    Got up at 4 as usually, now it's 6 and there are 10 butts in the ashtray. Isn't that insane? In an hour I will have my brain deep inside some computer and light up one after the other only to forget about it and light the next. Caught myself 3 times yesterday lighting up 2 within seconds. That's got to come to end.

    Coming weekend that horrible Songkran festival starts, a time to better not go out unless you enjoy getting drenched with water from some filthy c**** or get killed by some drunk driver. Fags would be the only reason to leave the house. So let the 12th be the first smoke free day, it's a Sunday and I hate Sundays anyway.:p

    Actually, I hope that that reading and writing here helps me quit, but don't tell anyone.;)

  • What's the problem with the word 'c_a_n_a_l'? It's often water from those c.......s (here called 'Klong') that go through Bangkok and the water is certainly filthy.

  • Hi Bioxx :)

    Good Luck for the 12th we'll all be here for you whenever you need us

    Best Wishes

    Marg xxxx

  • Hi Bioxx :)

    Good Luck for the 12th we'll all be here for you whenever you need us

    Best Wishes

    Marg xxxx

    Thanks for being here.

    If you see me posting here on the 12th I quit, if not I won't log in until I've quit, will keep reading though.

  • Bioxx

    Just wanted to say hope to see you on the 12th. We are all doing the same thing and can help each other.xxxxx

  • Bioxx

    Just wanted to say hope to see you on the 12th. We are all doing the same thing and can help each other.xxxxx

    Yeah, i hope to see myself here too on the 12th, otherwise............:mad:

  • Yeah, i hope to see myself here too on the 12th, otherwise............:mad:

    It strikes me that you are uncertain of your quit.

    This in itself sets you up for failure.

    I didn't once question that I might "quit" (I prefer the phrase "stop"), but I said "I will stop" and 5 weeks later I am still (and always will be) stopped.

    You have to think positive - and that is the easy part - it helps you overcome the physical and psychological dependance. Without that you will not stop - so figure out your reasons, believe they are reason to stop damaging your body and KNOW that this is the right thing for you to do.

    Coralie xoxo

  • Just a quick question, why do you want to stop? Not why do you think you should stop, but why do you want to stop?

    :)

    I know that it is stupid, it annoys me, eats up a great deal of my energy, wastes time, interferes with my life (can't do anything right now cos I have to smoke first), stinks up my clothes and me (i'm still looking for a girlfriend), etc., etc...............

  • It strikes me that you are uncertain of your quit.

    This in itself sets you up for failure.

    I didn't once question that I might "quit" (I prefer the phrase "stop"), but I said "I will stop" and 5 weeks later I am still (and always will be) stopped.

    You have to think positive - and that is the easy part - it helps you overcome the physical and psychological dependance. Without that you will not stop - so figure out your reasons, believe they are reason to stop damaging your body and KNOW that this is the right thing for you to do.

    Coralie xoxo

    I've failed too many times so yes, I do question my ability to control myself.

    However, there's a little difference this time, 1. I've found this forum, 2. i've set the date further ahead than in all the past attempts.

  • Now what? The supposedly last 30 minutes of my smoking life have come. Much faster than i thought. In 28 minutes I'll be on the mattress and hopefully wake up strong enough.

  • Hi Bioxx :D

    You Ask now what?? In 28 minutes you throw any remaining fags away and I mean throw them away not just put them out of sight OK

    Then you go to bed and when you wake you you're a Non Smoker so Welcome to the world of the Smokefree and the rest of your life

    You sound a little doubtful of yourself, don't be it will be much easier than you think I promise otherwise I couldn't have done it and I smoked for over 50 [yes 50] years

    You can do this make it a mantra if you have to

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Bioxx :D

    You Ask now what?? In 28 minutes you throw any remaining fags away and I mean throw them away not just put them out of sight OK

    Then you go to bed and when you wake you you're a Non Smoker so Welcome to the world of the Smokefree and the rest of your life

    You sound a little doubtful of yourself, don't be it will be much easier than you think I promise otherwise I couldn't have done it and I smoked for over 50 [yes 50] years

    You can do this make it a mantra if you have to

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxxx

    Yeah, I thought toilet and flush will be the safest place for them. When I wake up the monster will be starving and crying that worries me the most. Strangely, I haven't got any panic feelings yet. Something is wrong:)

  • Hi Bioxx :D

    No Nothing is wrong the way you feel at the moment is normal

    but there is no need to panic at all you just go about your normal life Ok

    The only difference will be that you no longer smoke

    Good idea to flush them down the toilet

    The monster won't start immediately but if/when he does ignore him

    Remember we're all here for you for as long as you need us

    Love

    Marg xxxxxxxx

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