Please read as a CAUTION

Please can I be so presumptuous as to give every single person on this forum a well meant warning. I know I am a relative newcomer but as you may be aware I am now into my fourth week and doing very well – in fact so well I felt I was perhaps a little bit too confident. Well here is a cautionary tale and please take heed if you are ever tempted to take one more puff!

Just to give you the background trying to explain what I did and why I did it - on Monday evening my husband lost his job. We both work together, we have enormous problems to face as do a lot of other people in this situation and as of today I do not know how long I will continue in employment. My husband is 64 and I am 60. On Monday evening I was a total mess, crying, shaking, not knowing how I was going to get through the next hour let alone the next day or the next month, how we were going to pay the mortgage etc etc etc. I had a glass of wine and a moment of complete insanity. I KNEW THERE WAS A SAFETY BLANKET OF A HALF PACKET OF CIGARETTES IN THE HOUSE – I LIT ONE! Surprisingly I have got to admit I enjoyed it – now here comes the caution. It was something I felt I had to do because I thought I was bigger than cigarettes. I am not. It did not solve the problem but what it did do was wake up the nicodemon (one cigarette, that’s all it takes). Last night I went home and at exactly the same time as I had had that cigarette my thoughts turned to having another one (what harm would it do?) – the power of the nicodemon cannot be stressed enough. I am not ashamed of what I have done, very upset with myself yes but with the extenuating circumstances I have forgiven myself. I could have just kept it to myself but if you are truly serious about giving up, please take heed and don’t be tempted as I was to have a puff. It aint worth it. Hands slapped and apologies to Team Monkey Bar Stewards – I will not let you down again.

23 Replies

  • I'm not replying to my own post but with a few minutes on my hands this afternoon I had a look around the forum to see what all the fuss was about the closed threads last night.

    Sorry folks, but I joined this forum as an aid to stopping smoking and it has been a great help for the past 4 weeks but it seems to me now there are a lot of people out there who need to get some sort of life instead of sitting in front of a computer all night jostling for position and falling out with cyber space friends.

    Think I shall continue on my own now.

  • Hi Biddy STick around there are still a lot of us who are here to help and support each other.;)


  • lol

    ... don't beat yourself up... I have done plenty of 1-2 puff scenarios over the years when I have quite... and I never relapsed from just that much... BUT I do note that it is not the nicotine at that point but the CONDITIONING (in my case)... and I recall that what it did was cause me to think of smoking a lot more... Example, 1-2 puffs (I never smoked a full one) to remind myself why I liked it (or did not) Saturday night... and then it is on my mind for a couple of days and that is annoying as all hell so I don't do it anymore. It was never physical cravings in terms of being on mind at that stage, just the mental habit of it all. I doubt returning to smoking will help your financial situation with only 1 job and you might just keep telling yourself exactly that....

  • Don't beat yourself up Biddy,it was a blip.

    Poor you and hubby regarding jobs etc.I am thinking of you both and hoping for better times.


  • Hi Biddy, don't go it alone, there are many normal sensible people on here who want to help and want your help too.

    That lot over in the other threads are just pathetic.

    Stay on the quitting section, I was enjoying reading through the "general" section but I won't bother any more, they've spoilt it. I'd rather join in with some sensible and helpful discussion over here. :)

    I totally empathise with you by the way, I have been there many a time, getting complacent and thinking I can have "just one" has been my downfall for years. I hope you don't leave us and that you survive your blip.

    Starve that nico demon!!!

  • Hi Biddy

    I am so sorry for your problems

    I agree with Staron and Delilah please don't give up on the forum most of us are still here to help and support each other and that after all is what this forum is all about

    Best wishes


  • Hello Biddy,

    I am really sorry for you and your husband, but hek, a whole cigarette is quite a slip.

    Please do try to hang in there, and have you thrown the rest of the half-packet away?


  • please stay

    Hi Biddy,

    Please dont leave us, Ive just read all your replies from this thread. sounds like we need you more than you know.

    Dont beat yourself up about that one demon cig.

    I promise you will be smiling soon, there's always a ray of sunshine to brighten our way.

    PM me anytime.



  • Hey Biddy,

    Really sorry to hear your bad news regards your husbands job, do you know what though, you had a cigarette - so what! Like you said you aint going to have another'd had some terrible news and it was a's helped you realise how strong that little nicotine monkey is...okay it didn't make your problem go fact it might have just made your quit that whole lot stronger...I hope it has as you've done so so well to get this far.

    Also, you have done me a huge favour this evening, because for reasons not too disimilar to your own situation I was very very tempted to smoke....just one I thought, ok my problem won't go away but damn it I'll have an enjoyable 5 mins smoking a ciggie...sense prevailed, I logged on here to take my mind off it and read your post...thankyou Biddy, even though you didn't know it... you helped me :)

  • Don't Give Up

    I did a full fag too - just before Christmas. I posted about it too if you want to have a look although it's not pretty.

    I actually came out the other side of that stronger. I realised:

    1. I'm not bigger than the fags

    2. I don't actually want to be a smoker no more

    3. Whilst I was having the fag I thought "Am I really enjoying this?" And I'll be honest, I found in neither repulsive OR that amazing I wanted another one.

    So you are not alone. Check out BibleBlack too - he slipped up once or twice....

    Hope to see you back,


  • I think you are being really strong Biddy - WOW- what resolve you must have. It's only one and it's not like you are NOW suddenly a smoker.

    Financial worries are really difficult to deal with mentally.

    I think you are doing AMAZING!!

  • Hi Biddy

    So sorry about your husbands Job mate I know how you feel mine as been out of work since last year. Dont worry to much about the silly rowing here just ignore it if you leave you are letting people spoil somthing thats helping you. There is still many supporting members.xxxxxxxxxx

  • Thanks you lot, I was a bit down yesterday when I came on forum but your words have lifted me this morning. I'm going to stick around but keep out of the General section - can't handle piffle at the moment! I'm on here to quit. Not going back on the fags and there are no more in the house. I suppose you could say that is one reason you should not keep an emergency supply in the house because there's always the temptation but to be honest it wouldn't have made any difference to me because the state I was in I would have gone and bought cigarettes on Monday evening come hell or high water. I am being honest about it. It has strengthed my resolve even more and if it has helped just one person then it was worth my posting. If ever there was a time I was going to fall it is now but you know what, I could so easily have bought a packet of 10 this morning but I DIDN'T WANT TO - no craving, nothing. Take heed - it has not made my situation any better and it won't yours. Upwards and onwards!!!

  • Morning Biddy

    Sooooooooooooo very pleased you are feeling a little better today. My nubby not working has stopped me going back on the fags No money for them now HEHE. You have to laugh or you will cry. Well done girl your doing fab.xxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Biddy

    Glad you are feeling a bit better today and glad you decided to stick with us

    Having read some of the rubbish that has been going on it looks as though it is just a few hot heads to me

    If the rest of us just get on with doing what we are here for which is

    Help each other it will probably fizzle out for lack of fuel just like a fire would

    So come on everyone onwards and upwards

    love margaretxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Excellent.

    I too get very bored by the $hit that is being spouted in the general forum recently and deliberatly tried to post non-mod threads just to try & encourage the usual chat we have going, about nothing much but at least it's calm.

    Some people have really got their knickers in a twist.

    Good for them but I have other things to worry about. I too am at risk for redundancy at the moment with people being identified next week. My husband got made redundant in 2006 and only got a good job again last September again so I know what it's like...;)

    I promise you will feel stronger about your quit after your little blip.


  • Hi Biddy

    Hi Biddy

    Hope you are doing OK today.

  • Hi Biddy

    Fantastic you are still with us don't let the ba**ards wear you down

    One fag is not the end of the world,its the begging of a better future :D

    You have to fall over before you learn how to walk :D

    You have allot of support,and if you need it ? use it :D

    Run out of smiley faces now but if we stick together we can take on anything we set our minds to and succeed ????

    Keep the faith :cool:

  • Glad you have stuck with the forum Biddy,still thinking of you and hubby and hoping for better news for you both.

  • Great news Biddy, glad you're still here!

    I went back over to "general" to have a quick shufty and can't honestly believe it's still ongoing! How much longer - IT'S BORING!!! :confused:

    Anyway, you're doing brilliantly, keep it up.

    Stressful times can be such a difficult test, but I always find it is better to have NO fags in the house. Having cigs in a drawer would kill me, I can avoid the cig kiosk at the supermarket, but a kitchen drawer would be much harder to avoid.

    Just found out my OH is smoking again (he gave up same day as me) he came home stinking of smoke tonight. :(

    I have been around 2 people who smoke today and one yesterday all of whom I normally sit and have a fag with. It was a little difficult, but sheer determination prevailed, I feel I'm over the worst. :)

  • Delilah

    Well done you for staying strong around other people who smoke every time you do this it will get easier for you sorry about you OH but maybe it was just a blip

  • Hi Biddy

    Sorry to hear about your hubby's job must be very stressful for both of you. I probably wouldn't have stopped at just one ciggy if I were you, I would have smoked the lot so you did well to only have one. Stay strong and I hope things improve for you soon.

  • Biddy... dont beat yourself up over the fag... focas your attention on not having another ARE doing well, I possibly would have done the same if I'd had that news... So sorry about your Hubby's job, hope its a short term issue :(


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