Please let it be this time!

Hi all,

I have tried to stop so many times I can't even remember now. The latest was hypnotherapy which sort of worked for a while, but now I am full-blown back to it and hate myself for it. Every cigarette I have I am full of self-loathing. Every day I say 'this is the day' and then fail. I am so weak.

I soooo want to stop though. I make it sound like I don't. The main motivator for me is that my and my husband are trying to conceive and are having difficulties and I am sure thats to do with smoking. we've tried to give up together but we end up colluding with each other to smoke again. He doesn't smoke in front of me when I'm quitting and he's very supportive. But if I ask him for a fag and he says no I don't let him - I can be pretty horrible. And yes, I've dug around for dirty dog-ends in the bin. Its shameful. Disgusting.

My problem seems to be I'm ok at stopping, its staying stopped thats the problem. So hence I came across this website as I feel like I need long term support - not like NHS Stop Smoking Service when you become a statistic after 4 weeks and no more support ... not that I'm knocking the service (its great) but its just a shame the funding for support stops after 4 weeks. For me thats when all the motivation goes and the laziness/apathy/complacency, call it what you will, kicks in...

But thats now several months away. I've got to stop again first. So I am going to aim for next Monday and try to stop berating myself every day till then. I'm meeting up with old school friends on a night on Saturday so I figure it would be a bad idea I can stop before then and not be tempted.

Sorry to have posted on the 'day one' thread ... hopefully on Monday it really will be. For good.

8 Replies

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  • Zema Dont Despair

    It's 10 days since I was in your position.....but check out my posts.....done a start and finish for each day.

    You certainly seem to have the motivation and a really big reason to stop......but dont worry about previous failed attempts.....the way I see it is they make you more determined and stronger each time.

    One thing we smokers do have in common now is that we end up feeling like criminals each time we light-up and smokers are now in the minority, but I can envisage that eventually we will all stop smoking, one way or another and the non-smokers (soon us as well) will not be happy that taxes will rise to counter the loss on fags.

    Anyway I'll get off my soap box now. Only you can decide when you want to give up and you will rarely be able to escape totally from smokers, but I've found that even after all my failed attempts I am now actually more determined than ever that I will make it through this and come out the other end as a non-smoker, and the satisfaction from declining a fag and telling a fellow smoker that you have quit (even though it may just be a few days at times...lol) is really satisfying and provides a better buzz then smoking. This site is great for helping to quit and that's really strange when you think about it because all we talk about is fags! But at least you will find people who understand and can sympothise with your feelings of fags.

    Best of luck......can it really be this easy to give up!

  • Hi Geordietrucker and Boudee - and thanks for your messages of support. Much appreciated.

    Its funny that now I have given myself a quit date I am looking forward to it, rather than berating myself every time at the moment that I light up.

    Last month when I did actually think I was pregnant (I wasn't), the one thing that stopped me smoking was thinking I had a baby growing inside me - so that worked definitely. I just need to make the jump that it will also affect the chances of getting a baby there in the first place!

    I've seen a quit nurse in the past and don't really want to go back. My hypnotherapy was a 'lifetime guarantee' and apparently they run groups so I think I'll contact him and try and get myself on a group - although I've always shied from this sort of thing in the past. I think through hypnotherapy that proved to me I can stop without NRT, so I'm going to try and do the same again, although have some chewy to hand for emergencies!

    Anyway, thanks again. See you Monday!

  • tried but failed

    hi i join here yesterday i have gone all day without smoking and at 9.oclock tonight i just gave in and had one i felt so mad with myself and i feel i have let myself down my daughter and husband were so pleased with me for not smoking all day and i was on my own tonight i just gave in i wouldn't mind but i have been on my own all day so i don't understand it any way i am going to bed now and i will have to start again tomorrow marg

  • Keep Going Marg

    Hey Marg we've all been there.....and probably all cursed ourselves for failing...but really it's not failing in the true sense and you shouldnt beat yourself up about but unfortunately we all do it. Think about why you had the fag......did it feel good......and was it worth the feeling you got straight after smoking it? Reckon it was'nt.

    Anyway dont stop trying.....and keep checking site out....we are all in the same boat and if you feel like a ciggy keep yourself busy. I find typing on this site really usefull for forgetting the cravings....maybe thats why I've put loads of entries in lol! People on here really help...and we all seem to get strong and weak periods and get eachother through best we can. U can do!

  • marg, it's very tough to do it on your own, are you using any nicotine patches, gum etc?

    Contact your local NHS smoking people, they can help and have loads of ideas.

  • hi

    hi i am not using any thing i have read allan carrs book a couple of times the thing is i try and keep my self busy and when i sit down thats when i want a cig i don't go out and i only smoke in one room of the house my friends who come round don't smoke and i can be with them a few hours and not even think about smoking i have also stopped drinking alcohol this week i was smoking more when i had a drink i am going to keep coming on this site and reading how you are all getting on i am sure it will help me a lot marg

  • I know that others find the nicotine stuff really helps and others say hypnosis works too. I think it's a case that you should try different things to see which one works for you. If you aren't successful with one thing, try something else!

    Keep it going!

  • NRT/Zyban/Hypnosis/Alan Carr

    Hi all......Volcano is right it's best to have some sort of support (Patches/NRT/Zyban/Hypnosis). I've tried them all before (oh and Alan Carrs book) with varying degrees of success and psychological reactions.......bad dreams to rashes...lol, but although using patches now.....have done before (obviously without success), I have now found the biggest help to be this forum. Wish I'd known about it before.....may of saved me money and health.

    Anyway the one thing that all us seem to do on this site is actually speak the truth about how we are going on, how we manage on certain treatments and yes even the times we've taken a couple of steps back........but hey is'nt great not to be judged and actually receive advice and info from people in exactly the same boat. After all we may have differant reasons for getting rid of the "nicotine monster" but we all want to give up this dreaded vice.

    Realise i've went round the houses with this a bit but it is helpfull to have some kind of treatment....even gum.....just to get over the withdrawals......even if some may be placebos.

    Which ever you choose you can gurantee that none of us are alone in this and we will beat it.....regards Geordietrucker

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