I have tried to stop so many times I can't even remember now. The latest was hypnotherapy which sort of worked for a while, but now I am full-blown back to it and hate myself for it. Every cigarette I have I am full of self-loathing. Every day I say 'this is the day' and then fail. I am so weak.
I soooo want to stop though. I make it sound like I don't. The main motivator for me is that my and my husband are trying to conceive and are having difficulties and I am sure thats to do with smoking. we've tried to give up together but we end up colluding with each other to smoke again. He doesn't smoke in front of me when I'm quitting and he's very supportive. But if I ask him for a fag and he says no I don't let him - I can be pretty horrible. And yes, I've dug around for dirty dog-ends in the bin. Its shameful. Disgusting.
My problem seems to be I'm ok at stopping, its staying stopped thats the problem. So hence I came across this website as I feel like I need long term support - not like NHS Stop Smoking Service when you become a statistic after 4 weeks and no more support ... not that I'm knocking the service (its great) but its just a shame the funding for support stops after 4 weeks. For me thats when all the motivation goes and the laziness/apathy/complacency, call it what you will, kicks in...
But thats now several months away. I've got to stop again first. So I am going to aim for next Monday and try to stop berating myself every day till then. I'm meeting up with old school friends on a night on Saturday so I figure it would be a bad idea I can stop before then and not be tempted.
Sorry to have posted on the 'day one' thread ... hopefully on Monday it really will be. For good.