Wierd thoughts in week 19

[nsd_user663_3633]

Hi everyone, Day 131 today! Time is flying by

I've not been around much the last couple of weeks because of work.

I am away from home this week on business so am eating in restaurants and spending the evenings in pubs instead of at home with the family.

While this is very nice in it's way (especially since I'm not paying!), it is very lonely and I am having many more thoughts of smoking. I've had a couple of "just the one" moments.

Probably just loneliness (fags have often been compared to an old friend) and I'm pretty sure it will return to normal as soon as I get home and get to cuddle Mrs StuartH and little StuartH but it's still annoying. It's not a crave, I don't feel like "I need a fag".... more like "I'm bored.... what can I do? I know...."

No replies with "hang in there" or "you've come so far, don't give up now" please... this is one time I am not asking for advice, or giving it... this post is just to express my feelings and to remind others of the necessity for vigilence.

During a moderately drunk moment it would be easy to smoke this week.... but there is no way on this earth that I will.

Never again - there is nothing that can make me smoke, it has to be a choice and I choose not to. Simple.

Anyway - sorry I've not been around much, I hope that is one more thing that will return to normal next week!

[nsd_user663_3881]

Thanks Stuart,

You kindly replied to my earlier posting today in week 2. I take on board everything you say. What scares me is the saying - "once a smoker, always a smoker" I have regretfully proved that you can start again even after 10 years (my longest spell). I will never let my guard down again but boredom does I think play a great part with smoking.

[nsd_user663_3728]

Hi Stuart

Am sure you are right and this is loneliness and boredom or if you like NOT REAL LIFE, i can understand you feel annoyed with yourself about this,i have a puzzle book i use for this sort of moment it keeps the fingers and my so called brain occupied at least as i think biddy is right and boredom is the culprit here as i get the what can i do feeling sometimes and it helps me

love mumxxxxxx

[NicFirth 10 Years Smoke Free]

Ahh, the nostalgic notion that a smoke would be nice!!!

So in the past when you were bored and lonely you reached for a smoke and ended up linking the two in your mind.

Now when you are in the same situation it is no surprise that the notion of smoking is appealing. I know you won't succumb and I know its annoying, but it seems to me that each of these type of situations just need practice.

Remember, the price of freedom is constant vigilance

[nsd_user663_3810]

Hi stu

been alittle like that myself-i havent been on the forum much due to work work work!!!

and miss you guys!! and its great to see so many newbies!

i havent had the 'just the one' feeling -YET, im sure it will come! what i have had is-the feeling of i will always be an 'ex-smoker' and never be a 'non-smoker'

and that annoys me alittle-im going through the angry stage of 'why the hell did i do this to myself stage?'

like you i will never smoke again, however i cant say i will never stop thinking of smoking!!!!-life battle, worth it though!!!

[nsd_user663_3633]

This is the first time I've been away for more than 1 night since I quit... so it's not really surprising that this is coming out now.

Never mind, it won't be the last and with a little practice it will be another trigger beaten. This loneliness one is the first for a long while and it took a while for me to recognise the feeling for what it was... I just thought I didn't feel well for a bit.

Oh well!

I've been through the "why was I so stupid as to put myself in this position" too, Shabba... now, for me anyway, it is more like "I was stupid, but at least I figured it out in time to reverse it".

Thanks for the comments guys and girls.

[nsd_user663_1733]

Hi Stu

Waves..................xxxxxxxxxxx

[nsd_user663_3633]

Hi Stu

Waves..................xxxxxxxxxxx

Coooooo-eeeeee

*waves back*

[nsd_user663_3687]

important thing is you know you wont!

well done so far. hope the week gets better for you! x

[Hope48]

Hi stuart

I can relate to what you have posted.

its more like a little nag in the back of your mind but certainly not a craving.

I surpose its something as ex-smokers we have to get use to,as long as we know how to deal with it thats the main thing and you obviously do

[nsd_user663_3853]

Eating out at the company's expense... it's alright for some :rolleyes:

[nsd_user663_3633]

Eating out at the company's expense... it's alright for some :rolleyes:

It's OK but the novelty soon wears off, believe me!

It only gets fun if you get to travel outside of the country and that only happens once in a blue moon....

Luckily most of the time I am based in one place... only travel once a month or so, it's just that this one is a long one and I'm sick of it already!

[nsd_user663_1733]

Stu

When are you heading home then anytime soon.xxxx

[nsd_user663_3633]

Not until Monday...

[nsd_user663_3728]

Stuart

glad you feel a bit better now since you figured it out and the week will pass I thought you were going home at weekend but anyway you know where i am anytime if out mobile always on :cool:

love mum

[nsd_user663_3633]

I still might be home at the weekend - but it's looking likely that it will overrun