Why when people fail a quit do they blame it on things like stress, family pressures, dog died, my boss is an ass hole, family member is ill etc etc ?
Surely it is because there is a lack of understanding of the addiction to nicotine and the link to psychological triggers in smokers and our habits, rather than just sticking a patch on or taking a pill doesn't it make sense to really understand OUR addiction and to realise that by having a cigarette none of the above is going to change.
I mean if my boss said to me today "Sorry you are fired". I wouldn’t go and buy 20 cigarettes and think to myself, "oh well might as well smoke, this will help with the fact I might lose my house and cannot eat"
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i agree with what your saying but for alot of people its a natural thing to fall back on like a comfort thing and its an automatic response to smoke when upset because that is what you would have done before also if your already given into that before then its just a never ending circle
it doesnt help if you are around smokers when your upset because they will say "have a fag" and because your not thinking straight you smoke and then beat yourself up about it either duing or afterwards
its all down to retraining your mind into not going down that path anymore thats the main key
stopping smoking is the easier step to a degree its the not smoking ever again which is harder considering the long association to smoking you have
its saying a final goodbye which makes people struggle and scares them
Such a wonderful mix of jumbled up sometimes randomly applied (or not ) strengths and weaknesses.
I've had 2 major addictions to get over. When I've failed to control either in the past I've looked to myself and myself only. However, I like to think I'm a fairly tolerant kind of person and allow others their own ways and means of moving towards getting their own control over their own addictions.
everyone is different but me personally have done this and this time i refused to go back there no matter what happened. i know life is always going to happen whether i smoke or not so i choose not!
My step father has an ****ysis of this kind of thinking.......
It's self preservation, you feel ill, you take a tablet. You have a bad back, you sit down. You feel tired, you sleep. You feel hungry, you eat.
Smokers have the cure all for everything......a fag !
You are upset, you smoke. You are tired, you smoke. You are happy, you smoke......you get the gist anyway.....!
It's like having a migraine for months and thinking "I won't take a tablet, I'll suffer the pain for as long as it takes to beat this migraine"
Anyway, the logic being sometimes the theoretical migraine becomes unbearable during times of extra stress so it's easy to reach for a smoke and take the pain away. Maybe people don't use it as an excuse to smoke, I'm sure they know fullwell it won't help but it just takes the immediate pain away. We all know this is followed with regret and the knowledge that nothing has changed but if we knew the answer to the riddle of the mental side of smoking addiction we would all be rich and healthy!
i always thought i was an addictive person with an addictive personality but it was the smoking that made it that way when i smoked i did truely believe it was the case
I also thought I had an addictive personality...but it was the fags that made me an addict (oh and myself for smoking them in the damn first place....IDIOT!).
If I had an addictive personality I'd be addicted to everything or at least a few other things!...what else am I addicted to?....hmmmm nope nothing everything else is done in moderation...well apart from eating but hopefully wanting sweet stuff will calm down after a while.
Sorry about you and your familys loss Karri, truly sad and tough times make lots of people fall off the wagon. Unless you are truly made of steel or really (and I mean really) focussed on your quit and nothing is gonna make you smoke not ever!!!! Then at your moments of weakness (when you're on the ropes emotionally and physically, remember the insomnia, over eating etc some people have to cope with!) when you just can't take anymore is when the nicotine addict part of your brain flares up at it's most potent.
You really have to be strong and have a strong quit to fight that urge...if you can do it, well ****ing brilliant but if not then bloody hell you did well and got so far. You've toughened yourself up for the next try...but it's no reflection on the person. You just have to keep quitting until you find THE quit where you will not smoke under any circumstances. Looks like Francob has found THE QUIT! like I have.....for those that haven't yet...keep on quitting, you will get there too.
Lisa xx
I myself think reading about addiction and understanding it is very important (that smoking is a pointless process of just topping up the nicotine levels every hour or so as they are constantly dropping as soon as we'd stub one out). That we were constantly facing withdrawal so all we were doing was putting off having to deal with it by chuffing on another fag and so on (ah don't you just love the nicotine trap, makes me feel like an idiot now!).
But another reason why this quit has been successful for me so far....is I just can't keep f**king quitting and failing, quitting and failing....it's pissing me off. Failure is not an option...I was forever worried about my health when I smoked (I mean to a point where I was scaring myself). I don't have to worry about that shit anymore. Nah much better quitting. Good luck guys.
In life, nature and most things we need a balance and I think writers on this thread are all trying to achieve this. I sometimes have to kick myself hard to get a grip on reality. I know it ultimately comes down to me to sustain not smoking through inner strength but its nice when it gets a prop up from here!
"My last quit failed because of a loss. I didn't cave until after the funeral but on my own grieving was difficult. I really couldn't be doing with the withdrawal and the sadness. No it didn't bring that person back, nor did it make the pain easier but it did mean one less worry and I CHOSE to smoke. Now I can't get my quit off the ground again but maybe when the grieving cycle is complete I will. "
Karri, you have hit the nail on the head. Sadly, whenever anything bad happens it creates a smoking trigger which means we have to ACTIVELY resist smoking. Sometimes thats just too hard
I will simply say we are human, we was addicted humans but still human, by being human self preservation kicks in as a natural defence mechanism, lack of knowing whats next scares anyone so we return like children to what we know and we did know 'smoking' as a comfort!!!!
It doesnt fix anything and after a quit going back to it no longer is a comfort but some still do. the only thing thats kept me quitting is research, this site and illness masked due to smoking.
never quit quitting there's no comfort there for us
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into my second week...blimey
