Still lonely in here! Any other long timers out there?

[nsd_user663_1654]

Anyone else made it to the top of the hill?

Grinfire

[nsd_user663_1858]

I`m almost there.

I quit on the 8 march 07.

I must say best thing i ever done was to quit smoking.

The smell makes me feel sick now.

I recorded that program Liz dawn ex Corrie, the street, speaks exclusively to Trevor McDonald about her real life battle with emphysema.

I must have played that 30 min program 20 times.

I was and still am so determined not to smoke ever again.

Smoking is a killer and if you saw that program you will see why.

It is so nice to breathe now.

good luck to all quitters.

Andy

[nsd_user663_2253]

Well done, Andy!!

Know what you mean about it being great to BREATHE! (My asthma 10% of what it was when I smoked)

Just wish cig smoke ALWAYS made me feel sick - at mo it sometimes smells really good to me.

Robert - what happened that made you smoke again after 17 mths??

[nsd_user663_2332]

I wish!!! Congratulations to everyone who's got here though - I think you're amazing and a real inspiration

[nsd_user663_1654]

Thanks

It is good to be noticed- better to be helpful!!!!!

Any questions from the newly quit?

Grinfire

[nsd_user663_2722]

Hi!

yes - what there a defining moment in your quit when you felt and behaved like a non-smoker? I have quit previously but never truly felt like one and I guess this was my pitfall. Is it possible to feel like a non-smoker?

x

[nsd_user663_2629]

Anyone else made it to the top of the hill?

Grinfire

Long way off for me - but hopefully this time next year ....who knows. Well done you, have a look round down stairs sometimes, we might need a kick up the proverbial to keep up focussed

[nsd_user663_2497]

Is it possible to feel like a non-smoker?

x

Yes, I believe so. But I wouldnt ever confuse it with 'ex smoker'. Which is what I will be, and am. You can eventually move on, but you cant forget your past.

I Dont intend that to sound at all negative, just sharing my particular perception.

The short answer though, is hell YES.

[nsd_user663_1654]

Hi,

Good luck to anyone aiming to be here. For me about a few months in I decided I was a nonsmoker and not just a smoking that wasn't smoking. As your quit goes on you get better at realizing you are not smoking and are not going to. It gets better a bit every day.

grinfire

[nsd_user663_2722]

Thanks grinfire - please don't be too lonely in this room and come and visit us in the other rooms - I am sure a lot of us can benefit from your experience and hindsight.

x

[nsd_user663_1654]

Hi

Thanks and no problem

Glad to be of help

Grinfire

[nsd_user663_2041]

I am too scared to think of myself as a non smoker :eek: but then i did it for 12 yrs before, so i guess i am a bit cautious this time

[nsd_user663_2871]

well done everyone in this forum.. i have come in here breathing in the clean air.. day 19 for me and today been a bit of a mixed bag really so reading your bits in here has helped.. so as you can see i got a long way to go to get to this point.. so i thought i would gatecrash anyways.. just to say well done and to see how it feels.. altho the latter bit doesnt really work lol.. anyway leave you guys to it.. like snakes an ladders eh.. so back down the snake for me..

kt x

[nsd_user663_2041]

hi robertb x

i oringinally gave up to have children, so in a way it was easier, as i had a good reason. when the eldest was 12, we started to get our social life back, and all our friends smoked. as my hub didnt stop with me i had access to cigs so i used to have one now and again at the pub and at home.

i thought i could take it or leave it lol, how wrong was i??? i kept telling myself i could give up any time. anyway smoked for 8 years more or less, then decided enough was enough. when the ban came in, it seemed like a good time, i really couldnt see myself standing outside in the snow puffin away. sooo i went on champix and it was easyish!!! ( as easy as any addiction can be lol)

so i now know, there is no such thing as one fag, well not for me anyway x

so what's your story??/

[nsd_user663_2934]

nearly four years on

Posted this under the wrong heading so thought I had better rectify it.:mad:

Hello all and just joined the forum, this is my first message. I was a 20 a day confirmed smoker and smoked for 46 years before kicking it into touch nearly four years ago.

I am still so chuffed and excited with myself and put my sucessful quit down to Allen Carr and his easy way to quit book. It changed my mindset and I suddenly realised what a complete waste of time smoking was, how it was killing me and just what it was costing

I just stopped smoking and instead of looking at smoking as something nice, a little friend, a little crutch I saw it as a deadly enemy, out to kill me.

Each defeated quit I saw as a nail in that nicodemon and each defeated quit I hailed as a victory.

I can honestly say I have enjoyed the quit progress and my feeling of satisfaction and euphoria hasn'l slackened.

Good to be free from Nicotine?

You bet it is.

Froggie

[nsd_user663_1654]

Good stuff!

Hello

It is a real treat to hear from everyone! I am glad to see people are quiting for the right reasons - I think it makes better odds!

Grinfire :D:D

[nsd_user663_2939]

how does it feel like after one year?

Congrats grinfire! It is a great accomplishment!

I really look up to anyone that had managed to quit, even more people that stay quit for 1 or more months. Of course, people who are quit for a year or years...they definitely are true heroes. Actually, they are the reason I decided to quit and overcame my fear to start stopping... Because, knowing that someone has stopped smoking and is still alive, smiling and happy is crucial in overcoming the initial fear that keeps a smoker from deciding to stop smoking...That was the case for me: I was very scared of what would happen if I had not to smoke when I wanted to smoke... (it's madness). That was the main reason I always postproned the decision to stop smoking.

I saw in an earlier post of you (in the 1 year + forum) that you are now better in ****yzing your feelings... Since I gradually start to understand that success or failure in quitting smoking depends a lot on this (feelings), I would really like to know, what and how are you doing? How are you feeling with yourself? OK, extreme anger and sensitivity are gone for me (at least,I think so :o), but the problem I deal with right now is a lack of confidence and an indecisiveness. Don't know if it is the same for others, maybe quitting smoking magnifies personality traits that we have already and these may be different for everyone. Lack of confidence = not regarding smoking but in other areas of life, work related etc. I' m indecisive, postproning stuff especially job related work but also household work etc. Sometimes I feel like I just want to sit there and just 'exist'. I feel like telling anybody that 'wants' me to do something: 'just leave me alone, please'. This is not anger. It is a desire to have a 'time out' and just 'be', maybe a little childish. This is not easy to do, I have not very much free time, because of job.

Is this a phase (like the irritability and anger of the first days) or is it something that you don't get over it, but just have to learn to live with it? I very often take now (last 2 weeks) deep breaths, it helps a lot. But this feeling of lack of confidence in myself is very annoying. Sometimes, I really wonder: how do or did I manage to handle all the things I do? It's like doing something, job, talking with people etc., and not really 'being there', like I am there and absent the same time... Also, thinking a lot about if the things I do in my life have any meaning, if I really want to do them etc. Hope all this makes any sense... and sorry for the long post.

Did you feel like that or did you have any other feeling related difficulties during that year, what did you do? Any answers would be really appreciated.

I am new in this forum, this is my first post. I quit on the 3rd January, cold turkey. I'm 33 and smoked for 15 years. I have tried a few times, especially during last year. This time I know that I cannot 'just have one', never.

[nsd_user663_1654]

Hi Salvet

Hi great to hear from you,

I think a few things happen (to me as well), A massive chemical change goes on in your brain. Everything changes in your personality and with the way you deal with things. It is funny to think I used to get mad about certian things that now don't matter at all. I think for you that if you want to be left alone it could be a few things. 1. Depression is a "quits" first and major symptom. 2. You have been relearning yourself and life since January (takes time to adjust). 3. All the stress and problems can make it seem like things have been magnified. I believe they have only been brought to the surface and smoking had them masked. My point is if you feel out of sorts maybe you should talk to someone a friend or doctor and just ask! Ask about questions or concerns and make sure depression isn't one of the issues. I have changed so many things that I a m not the same person. I eat totally different, I exercise more I have a lot less drama (because I instantly choose not to deal with any). Not to sound like a shriknk but, Think about what made you smoke, what where your triggers? Smoking might have hidden some things you didn't know was there. Keep going with your quit, Good luck!!! (you seem yo have it in the bag :D).

Let me know if you would like to talk more about this

Grinfire

[nsd_user663_2939]

Thanks grinfire!

You are right, some mild depression might be the reason but I don't really feel the whole time that way... Mostly when I have to do things, job related in most cases (but there must be only a few people on the planet that are extremely happy with having to work and not being able to have time for themselves, their hobbies etc.:)). If I would have a month of vacation... don't think I would be depressed. Also, it might be that because of major changes in work since last year that are good for career but bad for free time for myself, I struggle to relearn, as you said, old things but also things that are altogether new and have to be learned... I have to find some free time and add a bit more of fun in my life.

As I said, people that stay quit for any long time are an inspiration and a proof that it can be done. Today I have 2 full months and one day without smoking and I don't feel like lighting up one would do anything about my above concerns and feelings. I really start to not believe anymore in what cigarettes can do. Sure, I sometimes feel like I want to have one, but it is very easy to let go away. The thing with smoking is that when stopping, symptoms are feeling related (anger, irritability, bad temper etc.). That's, I believe, the difficulty in stopping smoking: we learn to trust our feelings (we evolved as humans to have them, they are there to help us judge what happens and what to do in various circumstances) so, when we stop smoking we cannot distinguish between which feelings are symptoms and which feelings are real and important to us. For example, when we are angry, we know that there is a situation we don't like and we have to do something about it. But, when we stop smoking, especially the first days, we are angry but there's nothing really wrong, it's just a symptom of withdrawal that makes us feel angry (meaning there 'is' something 'wrong'--> you should smoke :eek:, but you choose not to).

This is the longest time I have been without smoking and was just wondering how it is after, say, one year. Is there one day when you feel you are more confident with yourself? Or is it just me over-****yzing this thing? Or better, is there a time when you start not being that much concerned about feelings-things? E.g. about when did you start to have less 'drama'?

You know, it's a 'believe' thing. The smoker cannot believe that he would ever be able to have his/her morning cup of coffe without a cigarette, even when people who stopped smoking are trying to convince him/her. But, it seems to help when they hear from others that it is possible. Right now, two months without smoking, I don't think about smoking in the morning and would not smoke. Is feeling better something to expect, should we new stoppers believe that we will be less concerned about feeling-things?

(although all that might look like shrink stuff :D, but I believe it's not bad but necessary for people who stop smoking)

Thanks again!

[nsd_user663_1654]

yep

Feeling better is a major thing to expect, and being proud of ones self. I honestly forget about cigs unless someone is smoking or brings them up. I used to delay my morning smokes (kinda wake up first). I think that helped me quit compared to those that wake up and light up. The feeling things part is all dependent on the person. For me I just realized that a lot of things I had been dealing with weren't worth it. Tired of stress, Stressful things - people etc. Those were the things that smoking masked for me. I just decided enough is enough. A whole new world outlook happens around 6 months or later. Feeling confidant about not smoking, dealing with a rare craving but finally the tension is gone. I would never recommend that anyone could try to smoke after quitting either, a friend I help quit for 4 months cold turkey had a cig a week ago and up to 2 packs a day. Don't do it people you will regret it in so many ways.

[nsd_user663_2939]

Thanks

Thats great! Thanks a lot!!

I know that feeling of being proud not to have smoked, and its the best!

As I said, I have tried a few times to stop smoking during the last year. Actually since June. I stopped for 3 and a half weeks. My partner smokes and one day I asked him for a puff, just to see how it is (what was I thinking?)...he did not much to stop me (back then I believed that he was lucky to get to smoke and I was the unlucky one - how wrong I was)

So, since then I smoked 2, 3 cigs daily, usually below 5 for about a month. After that I smoked up to 10. But I started soon not to want even those because I was constantly in a withdrawal mode. Every night (every) I went to sleep hoping to have the power to stop on the next day. During the day I gave in and smoked a few, on the night again going to sleep while feeling exactly the opposite than being proud of not having smoked...The same cycle over and over again, it was crazy!:eek: This is when I appreciated that feeling of being proud not to have smoked.

Then, I made a promising stop in November. For 2 weeks...My partner stopped also smoking then, so I said that would succeed for both of us. One day he just lit one up ('just one') I foolishly did the same... He now smokes normally again since then. I smoked until 3rd January, after again going through that strange to smoke-not to smoke phase like above. Thats when I realized I cannot have just one and my stopping smoking does not depend on nothing and no one else than me. I mean support is nessecary but, in the end, it is us who choose to smoke or not to smoke...No one else to blame, no one or nothing else to hold responsible for...

What I realized in both occasions when I smoked again was that: if I was asked how much I wanted that cigs on a scale from 1 to 10 I would answer: 2 (10=how much I wanted to on the first days of withdrawal). That made me see that its not worth it, it has no logic and it is madness! I now know that I would regret it if I did it again. The phrase 'never take another puff' has a great meaning. I realized that I have an addiction and in this condition you cannot have one... Never. It may sound scaring to new quitters but its how one sees it: I see it now as knowledge that helps me to be free. After all, after overcoming the initial fear to stop and after about a month or so without smoking, I really don't feel I need to smoke, I dont even want to. But having in mind 'not to have even one puff' is a great reminder in some occasions, especially on those you believe nothing will happen because you don't 'really' want that cig. We believe that it is not ok to have one when you want it but its ok to have one when you don't want it that much...(strange but true for me on two occasions).

Until now everything is better. I don't feel I want or need to smoke 99% of the time. I dont feel I need to smoke in order to feel better about all that feeling-stuff. Maybe all that strange period of stopping and starting has helped me to be more concious and carefull. I also did not smoke in the mornings for all that time since June. I smoked the first cig in noon for example 4-5 hours after waking up... Maybe thats a new 'stop smoking receipe' we discovered??

Feeling stressed, stressful people etc. seems to be a problem for me too! Maybe its closer to the cause of my 'wishing to be left alone' than depression. Because usually i feel that 'wish to be left alone' when I am confronted with stressful work stuff, deadlines, confronting people, having to explain why I did or why I did not do something etc. Need to do some relax stuff for me, hobbies etc. Thanks a lot for this clue and for everything else!!:)

P.S. Sorry for the long posts but it seemed to be necessary in order to explain what I needed to explain :o.

[nsd_user663_1654]

Hi

Hello,

I enjoy the long posts and I am glad I have been able to help. Another thing it can be outrageously hard when living with a smoker. A good thing to try is to read up on the bad effects when craving or planning a quit. Like impotence in men (eek) the 5000 added chemicals - early death and the two hundred mile long list of bad things. Last but not least the people you care about and those whom care about you! Kids, friends, loved ones etc etc.

Good strong!!!!:D:D

[nsd_user663_2931]

Hey grinfire, if you can hang around for just 361 days, I'll gladly join you

[nsd_user663_2142]

I had the greatest non-smoker feeling ever. For the first time as a non-smoker I stayed in a NO SMOKING hotel. I was with two smokers and they complained sooooo much that they had to get out of their pyjamas to go outside to smoke and freeze. I was all cozy in my jammers and in the cozy bed watching t.v. as happy and content as ever. It was such a wonderful feeling to be warm and not bothered to get all dressed to go smoke and freeze. I love being a non-smoker.

[nsd_user663_1654]

I am looking forward to it

I am looking forward to the next 361 or 360 at this point days. I also agree on the jammy thing too! I live in Vermont and the winter is mean as hell and not being out puffing at minus 30F is a happy warm idea!!!

Good job to all of you!!

:D:D

Grinfire