Still Day 1 - long story

Ok guys.....

well here I am again. I had my last cigarette at 9.30am this morning.

Had one of the worst days of my life yesterday and today isn't much better.

My bf and I broke up yesterday and he moved out. It was me who initiated the split but even so it's not a nice feeling. Actually I feel like absolute crap. Had to hold myself together at work today and stop myself crying. I'm a teary mess. My contact lenses have gone all blurry so i've had to put my horrid specs on. I've still got to go to work tonight when all I want to do is curl up on the sofa in my pjs with the dog and watch a crappy chick flick that will make me cry even more.......

Last night after work....I hadn't smoked all day.....I bought 10 cigarettes and smoked 9 of them with a bottle of wine. And what did it achieve....nothing. So here I am again. I had that last cigarette this morning and put a patch straight on........

PP xx

17 Replies

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  • Oh Penguin Im soooo sorry, life is sometimes crap but you have to stay strong and you already know that smoking isnt the answer.

    Maybe going to work is what you need and then come and see us lot here and we will hold you and take your pain

    Chin up kiddo

    Big hug

  • Hi PP

    I'm so sorry to read this but keeping busy will help you as will reading on here

    Sorry you and your BF split up and no it's not a nice feeling at all

    Love

    Marg xxxxxx

  • Oh dear, sorry to hear you're having a rough time.

    If you can get through this and still manage to stay off the fags, then you're one tough cookie. Hat's off to you!

    I'm only on day 4 so I'm no expert at this, but there are lots of people on here who can help you in so many different ways so I would recommend using all the support you can get from this site as well as your friends and family.

    All the best to you.

  • Oh pp i know exactly how you feel, thats why I havent been here for a few days - me and OH had massive row on sunday and havent spoke since - but I have managed to stay away from nic cos the last thing he said to me was that I could now go and smoke all I wanted - so I thought I would stick 2 up at him and it made me not want to smoke even more, even though I really want to (that doesnt sound right but i know what i mean).

    You will get through this, I wish I could give you a big hug and drink that bottle with you but you will have to settle for a virtual hug and loads and loads of PMA.

    DO NOT beat yourself up over the smoking, you just get your head together first and then tackle the smoking issue - I am sure people will shout at me for saying that, but you cannot do everything at once.

    Work will help as murph said, it takes your mind of things. Can you go and see friends (non smoking ones preferably) or go to family and demand some TLC cos I reckon you deserve it.

    Stay strong and keep us up to date.

    loads of love and pma and hugs

    Jayne x

  • Oh what a horrible time you're going through. Big hugs.

    Only thing I can suggest is that cigarettes will not make it better. Indulge yourself in something really nice, chocolates, wine, bubble baths, whinging to friends, whatever... but keep your chin up...and post here often

    Sue

  • sooo sorry, life is crap sometimes. don't know what else to say except that you need to know without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what you say to us, we are not going anywhere and will be here for you.

    Sending you loads of PMA and the biggest hug me and my 3 girls can muster, and that is some hug i can tell ya;)

    (((((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))))

  • wow we all posted at the same time, you have to be feeling a bit better after that load of PMA sent.

  • How crap. I am most sorry for you, but if you instigated the split then there must be good reason. Come on here when you can and post for some support. xxxx

  • Aw pingu - I've been there before and I know that even if you do initiate it its still a huge shock to the system and its still upsetting. Even getting to the decision is upsetting.

    Don't be hard on yourself - the fact is that you are still here and your still focused. So you had a blow out but the fact is through everything your still sticking that patch on!!:)

    It took me about 3 days to get my head sorted after breaking up with my ex but I felt more focused and happy after that period has passed. And I was stonger cause there was huge issues going on that meant that breaking with him was the first strong thing I'd done in years.

    I know you'll be okay Pingu - I;ll be thinking of you and keep strong girl.

    Big Cyber Hug ((((((((((((((((((())))))))))))))))))))))

  • Aww my lil pingu..... hang in there okay. Big hugs xxxx Will it cheer you up knowing I scored a point on the weekend in the grocery store?! Probably not, ey?! New and better guy just around the corner! Sure of it ;)

  • It will all get better use the quit as a focus, make it the thing to do and think about to get you through it. Works for me on occasion. Fallin off the wagon happens, just get back on and do the best you can.:)

  • Had one of the worst days of my life yesterday and today isn't much better

    Sorry to hear that....and the rest of your sad news. Life's a shit sometimes.

    DO NOT beat yourself up over the smoking, you just get your head together first and then tackle the smoking issue - I am sure people will shout at me for saying that, but you cannot do everything at once.

    That's good advice...and a direction I've previously taken in one of my many practice runs.

    Best wishes and PMA to both of you,

    Cav

  • Hi PP

    Hope you are feeling better, wanted to wish you the best of luck, I can't give as much advice or as good as others at the moment as only on day 2 but wish you all the best!!

    Breaking up with someone, especially when you live together is a huge thing, whether you instigated it or not, like previous poster says, get over that fact first if need be, then concentrate on the not smoking! One thing at a time!

    We are all here for you so type away and get ur frustrations out! It will help!

    Wish you the best Mel xxxx ((((huggss)))

  • Hi PP

    Hope you are feeling better, wanted to wish you the best of luck, I can't give as much advice or as good as others at the moment as only on day 2 but wish you all the best!!

    Breaking up with someone, especially when you live together is a huge thing, whether you instigated it or not, like previous poster says, get over that fact first if need be, then concentrate on the not smoking! One thing at a time!

    We are all here for you so type away and get ur frustrations out! It will help!

    Wish you the best Mel xxxx ((((huggss)))

    Hi Penquin

    Dont know what to say but sorry your having a shit time of it,but glad your back and so is everyone else you were really missed but you are here now and i for one am glad.

    Brian xx:)

  • Hi everyone,

    Thanks for all the kind words and advice. It's been a shitty, shitty day. Finished work at about half 10 tonight and been for a good, old cry at my mum's house. Couple of glasses of wine and am now working my way through a box of sour cream & onion pringles. Got a day off tomorrow at least so plan to spring clean my house and then have a girly night with one of my friends tomorrow night......

    On the plus side.....I haven't reached for the fags. I have decided that there is no point reaching for the cancer sticks. How will I ever get a Johnny Depp lookalike millionaire to marry me if I smell like shit and look all wrinkly from the tobacco abuse....

    I have one man in my life though....my little shih tzu and he is giving me lots of attention. Think he knows somethings up......either that or he's got his eye on my pringles.....the little fluffy bugger....

    down but not out

    PP xx

  • Hi everyone,

    Thanks for all the kind words and advice. It's been a shitty, shitty day. Finished work at about half 10 tonight and been for a good, old cry at my mum's house. Couple of glasses of wine and am now working my way through a box of sour cream & onion pringles. Got a day off tomorrow at least so plan to spring clean my house and then have a girly night with one of my friends tomorrow night......

    On the plus side.....I haven't reached for the fags. I have decided that there is no point reaching for the cancer sticks. How will I ever get a Johnny Depp lookalike millionaire to marry me if I smell like shit and look all wrinkly from the tobacco abuse....

    I have one man in my life though....my little shih tzu and he is giving me lots of attention. Think he knows somethings up......either that or he's got his eye on my pringles.....the little fluffy bugger....

    down but not out

    PP xx

    Penqiun

    probably don't wanna hear from a bloke right now but really sorry your having a shit time of it good work keeping off the cigs ..you see how strong you are proud of you shipmate and you need to get your arse back here as i am planning a mutiny ;)

  • Penqiun

    probably don't wanna hear from a bloke right now

    I wouldn't worry, the chap wears marigolds to do the washing up ;)

    PP some bad recent events, definitely not something i'd like to have endured, although i've not much PMA left this last week or 2/3, you can still have mine.. I can run on empty til i find my focus again. but right now you need PMA more than i need it.... so good luck for the days ahead, and i hope you find some inner strength just to see you through the days too.

    *passes PP the last of his PMA*

    nn

    Sleep well

    jase

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