Well... here is the scoop... after not smoking for so long, I had a few cigars. These were on weekends... then every weekend... then it turned into smokes again when cigars tasted bad... then i was hiding the smokes from my girlfriend... and was still up until right before I started writing this. She knew of the cigars, but not the smokes. Here is the problem.. she told me the other day that she gave up on me... figures i'm going to be smoking things for the rest of my life due to my addictive personallity. Heres where I figure I went wrong... I thought a few puffs wouldn't hurt. I left the forum. I gave up on all my friends here. I gave up exercising.
0500 AM... this 17th day of october, 2007... I have just ripped a half pack in half in anger. Please forgive me for going back to the dark side. I am now starting my hell week again. I can do it this time. I will not leave here, I will not take a puff, I will not keep secrets and I will stand by my conviction to rid myself of the habit for good. Cold Turkey once again, as I handled it for so long last time. Well, hello again friends, I should never have left.