The weekend has been much better than i anticipated, haven't missed them at all. Although i think tonight could be a challenge, so will have to keep myself busy!!!
Went to the gym yesterday for the first time in months and was amazed at how much fitter i am already. I actually ran for a few minutes on the treadmill, usually i just walk fast. In the past, when i exercise its been my lungs and breathing that limit me, yesterday i did as much as my muscles could handle!! (not that much, but its a start).
Might even go back today and run somemore, my lungs are so happy!!!
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What a day. Had a big row with the boyf and stormed off to my sisters.
I've actually been avoiding her as she smokes but hides it from her boyf, and usually comes to my house for a secret smoke.
So went to hers to pour my heart out and she suggests going out for a walk so she could have a smoke, so we go, she smoked i didn't!!! Can't believe it, soooo proud of myself.
Unfortunately since i've been having the battle, i want a fag, no i dont, yes i do, no i dont, yes i do ALL BLOODY DAY!!!
The only thing that has stopped me is knowing it won't stop at one, i would have another and another and be back at square one again.
Think i'll just have any early night and tomorrow will be my Day 7!!!!
Went to the gym again and managed to run quite a bit more.
Polish my halo ...
PS still not speaking to boyf, haven't seen him since 1pm, think it could be all over. BUT i will not use that as an excuse to smoke.
Good for you Chocobunny! It really is tough to hang in there when things are rough and your hidey-hole is a cigarette. The little voice in my head keeps telling me it's okay to smoke because my son is on the street, God knows where. He was going to meet me for church this morning, and didn't...that was another excuse. So far I haven't given in. I've been gradually leaving more time between my 1 cigarette a day since Tuesday, tonight is my last one. I bought some nicotine gum "just in case". I got the smallest dose. At any rate, I'll keep my fingers crossed that everything works out between you and your honey. I just went through a very bad time with my hubby of 26 years, am still not out of the woods. If you need to cyber-talk, you can e-mail me any time.
Day 8, past a week and really don't want to give up this quit but since Sunday ALL i have thought about is having a fag. I KNOW i will not feel better for having one, but that isn't stopping my head working overtime.
I think after having an easy first week all the cravings have come on with a vengance!!! I have cried sooooo much over the past 2 days.
Last night i was uncontrollable, used a whole loo roll blowing my nose. I really don't know how i managed to not go and buy some.
I can handle the tears, i've been here before and i know its part of the process, but i can't handle the fact that its clouding my judgement.
I feel really down and i don't know if its the effects of stopping smoking or everything else thats going on in my life. I feel like everything is going tits up!!!
I have an exam in 5 weeks which i don't have the motivation to study for. I'm soooooo bored in my job, i've started looking for a new job but not sure how long i can go before telling someone where to shove it.
AND me and the boyf and on the verge of breaking up. And i don't know if this is what i really want or if i'm just wound up and down because of the quit!!!!!
I have made the observation though that i haven't listened to my hypnotherapy for a few days. DEFO listening to it tonight.
Suppose i better getback to work, grit my teeth and try not to burst into tears at anyone!!
Just imagine, if you did cave in and have 'just one', how AWFUL your mouth would feel :mad: .
Keep saying to yourself 'it will pass'.
Another trick I use is to ask myself how much I want a ciggy on a scale of 1 - 10, where 1 is hardly at all. I think I've only ever got up to a 4. 2 is my norm and that motivates me.
I'm such a drama queen, 'oh poor me my life is so crap' what a load of horse plop!!
My life is great, with a few minor blips here and there, i haven't smoked for a week and i've been to the gym 3 times now AND i studied tonight, thats FAB!!
Just shows how much of a grip the nicotine monster had, i was totally fine for the first week but he was lurking and just waiting for the right moment to pounce!!!
I really hope he won't be back, but if he does i'll come straight back here and cry again.
Thanks again guys. Big kisses to you all, you are angels!!
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