Hello, I’m new here and just wanted to share my story in the hope of finding support and people like me. And when I say like me, I mean SERIOUSLY morbidly obese, not ‘oh I’m 11 stone and I need to lose weight’ I’m 30 stone and have a BMI of 76. So yeah, it’s no competition, but you do not know how hard it is being this size and when you’re told that you’ll die young, and you won’t be able to have children, it’s hard to sympathize and engage with anyone who’s 11 stone and ‘hate how fat they are’. I’m looking for people I can talk to who are in a similar boat to me.
So, I’m at my heaviest I have ever been. I’m 28. I’ve been told if I don’t lose weight I’ll die young. I’ve been told that if I don’t lose weight I won’t be able to have children. I’ve been told if I don’t lose weight I will get diabetes etc etc, you get the point. But do I lose weight? No. Do I continue to eat rubbish? Yes. Do I exercise? No. I cannot explain it. I just feel like I don’t have the energy to even begin. It absolutely breaks my heart everyday that I am this way. I despise myself. It’s all I think about. I’m in a happy relationship, have my own house and a puppy. Everything is good, but there’s always this in the back of my mind saying not you can’t be happy, look at you.’ ‘You’re gonna die soon’. And I’m getting to the point where I just can’t cope.
I can’t walk or stand for longer than a couple of minutes. Every single movement makes me out of breath. Everything hurts. Nothing fits, and by that I don’t mean clothes, I mean chairs, seatbelts, toilet cubicles, normal everyday things people take for granted. Everything is made for ‘normal’ people. It literally kills me inside. I’m a very anxious paranoid person anyway, but when you have to deal with the sheer embarrassment of not being able to fit into a seat, it’s just awful. I have no enjoyment in life anymore. There’s so many things I would want to do but can’t. I can’t go on holiday because I just don’t fit in the plane seats. I can’t enjoy myself at the cinema because I don’t fit in the cinema seats. I can’t go out and enjoy a drink with friends because the seatbelt in their car doesn’t fit and the pub they go to has stupid chairs with arms that I just cannot fit into. I always think of it as it’s like being pregnant, but 20 times worse. Not only because nobody recognizes you might struggle or hurt, but you always feel tired, your belly gets in the way of everything, and you just generally feel like a whale. Difference is, when your pregnant everyone’s really sympathetic and gives you priority over everything, but not when you’re fat and struggling. You just get funny looks and pushed past.
I’m currently under a weight management team with the NHS, but guess what? I can’t have weight loss surgery because I’m ‘too fat’. How ironic. It’s too dangerous to even operate on me to help me lose the weight that is also dangerous to me. So I have to lose so much weight or so many cm’s to make the operation safe. I had a gastric balloon fitted July last year. All it’s done is cause me problems. No weight has been lost. I’m just constantly bloated and full of wind. It’s supposed to make me feel full up, but if anything I feel I can eat more! Has anyone else tried gastric balloon through NHS? I’d love to hear how it went for you. Apparently it isn’t my fault it didn’t work, it just works on some and not others. They also tell me that being fat isn’t my fault and that it’s a disease.. I’m still not sure I fully believe that. And nobody I know does that’s for sure.
Anyway, that’s enough for now! Please get in touch to share stories so we can support each other?
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Hi sweetheart. You are in the right place. Welcome. An admin will be along soon with how the site works. You will get our what you put in & you will get a lot of encouragement.
You do indeed have a disease & it’s hugely disappointing that you have been told by medical professionals that balloons & bands are what will cure you. They won’t.
You are addicted to sugar and carbs, which have destroyed your body’s ability to regulate your hunger. When we eat sugar and carbs, or even just carbs like rice, potatoes, pasta, bread, we produce insulin. Producing a lot of insulin over time, deafens your appetite control hormone (leptin), and stimulates the hormone that says you are hungry (Grehlin). Www.carbdodging.com explains this properly.
The solution is to give up sugar and carbs. Eat big plates of eggs and vegetables, meat and vegetables, cheese, and the weight will come off. Its a radical approach for many and though increasing numbers of us here follow it, lots of people are still happier with calorie control.
While you are looking into things, taking advice from others, I strongly urge you to give up sugar. Let yourself eat anything you like, in any quantity, but just don’t eat anything with sugar in it.
Thank you very much for your reply. It’s funny you say about insulin resistance. I’ve actually been started on metformin for this exact problem. I don’t have diabetes but the medication works for this too.
May I suggest then that you look out for Dr David Unwin on google & YouTube.
PS step away from the smoothies - strawberries and Greek yoghurt would be a better choice if you want an easier breakfast... bananas are very sugary, strawberries less so.
Ok thank you. I do want to try different variations of smoothies. But at the moment I’m feeling successful in even making them. And in my eyes bananas are better than crisps and chocolate at the moment. Xx
I just wish someone had told me that bananas and other fruit were not the healthy option I had thought they were, when I was your age... I’d have saved myself another 20 years of producing too much insulin while thinking I was being healthy. BUT you must get to that point of understanding for yourself & the videos /professionals like Dr Dan Maggs & Dr David Unwin will be just more persuasive than me....
Everything that Slim_for_good has written is true, but it's true for all of us. Anybody that's overweight, regardless of how overweight they are, is suffering from a degree of metabolic syndrome and the 'cure' is the same for all. I'm going to give you some things to read and watch, which may seem overwhelming at first, but the point is to make you realise that you're not odd/strange/different, you're just human.
In simplistic terms, this means eating as much as you want of meat, fish, eggs, full fat dairy, non-starchy vegetables, berries and natural fat, but steering clear of sugar, bread, potatoes, rice, pasta and processed foods, including low fat/diet products.
All of the information you need about the forum can be found in Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... and I hope you'll be joining all the Events, Challenges and Clubs that we run, especially a weigh-in and the daily diary.
We've found active participation to be key to successful weight loss and, of course, it's a good way to get to know people, find inspiration and share support and encouragement.
Absolutely Moreless. You can tell the people who have an insulin & leptin problem, because they are fat. You can tell the people who don’t, because they are thin and live off toast! Several of those in my family...
Loads of people on here will tell you what you 'should' do to lose weight. That's a real strength of the site. Lots of people, with lots of different experiences. I'm going to completely disagree with the first two replies.
I can't tell you what will work for you, but I think it doesn't make any difference what you do to lose weight if you haven't sorted out your brain first. If you have a voice telling you that you're worthless/fat/stupid/whatever, you will not be successful for very long.
I've been fat all my life. At my heaviest I was over 26 stone. I lost a litttle so I could be approved to adopt about twenty years ago, but stayed around 24 since then. However, in the last year I've lost five stone. Something finally clicked in my brain that *I* was worth doing something to look after my health.
It's not been easy. I still have shouting matches with that little voice in my head, but I'm winning more of the arguments now. You can get love and support from everyone around you - family, doctors, counsellors - but only you hears that voice, and you need that little voice to STFU, or to change its tune.
So my advice is seek out mental health help first, and once that's started, only then begin losing weight. You don't have to join a waiting list and then talk to someone (who will inevitably be skinny). There are all sorts of online resources available, loads of them are free, and one will work for you. The do vary widely in how good they are. It may take a few tries before you find something that will work for you, or something may work for the first part of your journey that doesn't work later on.
You had the strength to come on here and share your story. Now you have to take the next step. You can do this.
Thanks for this perspective Ziva09. SeriousChat there are very different perspective on this site, and that is both a strength and a weakness. My view is that eating well and working on your mental health are not either ors, and progress on both will help the other. All the medical advice on dealing with stress, anxiety and depression say to eat healthily as that will help your mood. Our bodies and minds are intimately connected. Absolutely no mental health professional says keep eating loads of sugar and junk because you are down. Best wishes.
This really touched me ziva. It is true. I know deep down I need to do this. And the lockdown should have been my opportunity. I started yesterday and hope this site will help me keep focused x
Hello
I just want to say that i'm sorry you are in this much pain.
You are sounding quite depressed which is understandable!
Hello and welcome along to our bandwagon. If it's any help I weigh 18st 13lbs (yes, I know, you wouldn't mind being that weight too) I'm 5ft 3.5inches tall, I'm middle aged. I've been fat all my life and dieting on and off too. I'm married to a lovely man.
I can relate to being seriously overweight because I am too. I'm on blood pressure medication because of my weight. I'm too fat for HRT so I got given an advice sheet on how to manage my symptoms holistically. Guess what ? Healthy diet and regular exercise and positive thinking was advised. So, carry on with what I'm doing anyway, then.
Last September I was 1lb short of 20st. BMI 50. Ten years ago I weighed 11st and ran the Paris Marathon in 5hrs 37mins. Yes, really. I have regained all the weight, probably more, that I lost prior to 2010 and by then had kept it off for three years. Same old story. Lets just say life happened.
I've done well with my diet and exercise this week but stayed the same weight. Hey ho. Keep calm and carry on. Yeah, all that.
Have your weight management team looked into your genetics ? It is an emerging field, and if it is something that is offered, might shed some light on the best approaches and also your likely prognosis based on which genes you might be carrying if any...
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