Desperation!

I have spent the day in tears...how can I have allowed myself to reach 18stone ๐Ÿ˜ฑ. I feel

Disgusted by my appearance, comfort eating and drinking. I've tried every single diet known to man, have joined gyms and online communities to try to maintain focus... I lose a little then gain a lot. I have toyed with having surgery but I really don't think it's the answer...I am going to give this an honest try. ( I won't always whinge )!

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  • Hi and welcome, OBCE :)

    Dry your tears and stop thinking diet. This is the start of your new healthy lifestyle :)

    Take a look at the Pinned posts section to the right of your screen (bottom if you're using a mobile), or in the drop down on the 'Posts' page (it says 'arrange by'). Read the Welcome Newbie thread, then move through to the challenges, where we hope you'll find at least one that will appeal to you.

    Move down to the Topics, to find a variety of threads, collated into specific topics for ease of access and we ask that you also 'file' your own threads, so that others won't miss your important news.

    Take a look at the NHS 12 week plan, as a lot of people have been successful with it, making sure to enter your details into the BMI calculator, to get a calorie allowance tailored to your personal requirements. Don't forget to take your starting measurements and a 'before' picture, as they can be very motivating on days that the scales refuse to co-operate.

    We run a weigh-in every day of the week and you'd be very welcome to join one of them. The threads can always be found in the Events section, to the right of the HOME page, bottom on a mobile.

    We also run a Daily Diary, where we share our meal and exercise plans for the day. It's a great place to get ideas and to keep us focused. The link can also be found in Events.

    Be aware, that the HU app doesn't give you access to all of our important features, so we advise that you use the full website page.

    We've found that to get the best out of this community, we need to be active on the forum, as it's where we exchange information, get motivation and inspiration and make friends. We hope that you'll join us here, regularly, too.

    It's only left for me to wish you well on your journey :)

  • You are not disgusting and please don't think that way. You will find many success stories from members heavier than you on this forum. You have taken the first step by coming here and owning your weight. Now your journey can begin. Set yourself mini goals of a few pounds and cekebrate each one as you reach it. We will all cekebrate with you. It's not a race so don't get impatient. It won't come off overnight and will take time. So, hang in there and when you meet hurdles don't suffer in silence. Come on here and share. Count every bite that passes your lips. Check the BMI CALCULATOR for your calorie range. You'll be surprised how much you can eat. Good luck. I'll watch out for your progress ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

  • Thank you. wa2un7

  • Hi welcome! You can lose weight by having a good focus on healthy eating permanently, not just for a diet. Set mini goals and make changes that you can sustain. Good luck, you can do this!

  • Hi and welcome to this lovely forum . AS mentioned it's really useful to join in with the conversations and have a good look round the site. Don't forget we have all a common goal , all have good and bad days .

    I find that taking it 1 lb At a time has helped me stop being overwhelmed.

  • Hiya, I know exactly where you are coming from. I have myself been struggling with my weight all my life and can completely understand. I have lost masses and then put it all back on. I had weight loss surgery back in 2012 lost 7 stone and had to have the gastric band removed in 2015 due to slippage it wasn't a pleasant experience and I now know that weight loss surgery isn't the way to go. It's not a diet it's a lifestyle take one step at a time. Don't be too hard on yourself x

  • Thank you. It's so good to know other people are in the same boat ( or have been). I'd never have believed how weight and physical appearance can impact so massively on every aspect of your life! Time to reverse...

  • Oh I'm still in the same boat. Just accepted that being too hard on myself only makes me more determined to sabotage my weight loss slow and steady wins the race ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿ’ช you can do it x

  • So you weigh 18 stone now, just think, now is the operative word, forget about what you weigh and concentrate on what you will weigh in a year, its not good to keep looking at yourself as you are but imagine that now you have made the decision to lose it you will be down loads so quickly.

    We have all done the same whether its a stone or ten that we have managed to put on, but my take is that the bigger you are the faster it comes off.

    Past is past so forget it and here's to the new slimmer you.

    So what's your plan of attack

  • Hi AlexandriaUK

    My plan of attack is to plan today for the rest of the week, read the blurb and try to motivate myself! I am trying a bit of hypnosis to complement the mindset shift. I'm not setting any unrealistic exercise goals. I am a member of Gymcube ( online exercise classes...and lifestyle advice) so may use their 30min morning class to start the day. Those 3 things seem like a lot to me right now. The mindset needs an overhaul ๐Ÿ˜x

  • Hi, glad to see you have a plan, without some kind of idea of what you mean to do you would struggle, do you have any idea how many calories you have been having a day, this will give you a good idea of how many calories you need to start on, this want stay the same obviously, the lower your weight gets the less calories you will have to go down to, this journey is far from easy and some days you will become disheartened but to reach your goal of being a slimmer you the hills and mountains will have to be climbed, I only need to lose 14 more pounds to get to my weight target, can I get there, nope I have plateaued and I'm just having to plod on, iv tried upping calories and dropping calories to no avail, cutting out bread, eating some bread, so annoying but I'm still thinking it will happen and so will your weight loss.

    If you need any help just shout, we are all here to give support and advice, have you looked at my fitness pal

  • Hi

    I have no idea how many calories I've been eating but I have gained 6 stone in 6 years so that says it all. I have used MFP but then lie to myself and don't input when I've gone off the rails! Just cheating me...! Sorry to hear you've plateaued but just brilliant you are cracking on with it. I know weight is a good indicator for health purposes but perhaps you're losing inches with exercise that aren't reflected on the scales? Are your clothes fitting better... I'm in no position to advise on why anyone should do but I honestly should be expert with the amount of experience I have!

  • Had to laugh at that, I have a friend who is large to say the least and he is always telling me how I should go about losing that last stone, he does have a point, he has dieted more times than iv had hot dinners so knows exactly how to do it, he just can't stay focused, he actually forgets he's on a diet.

    You are welcome to pass on any ideas you have, just because we struggle to lose weigh doesn't mean we aren't good at dieting, just that we struggle to put the plans into action and follow through.

    I have eaten so much today, maybe its more than a stone today

  • We all those degusted moments, about ourselves .

    As the others see it long term, you will have blips and variances on your weight, the daily diary will help you plan. That will be vital, planning, don't rely on pot luck food wise.

    Lots of help her and recipes too, for every 1 lb it takes 5 lbs off your knees, reward yourselves with non food treats

  • Hi OBCE well done for finding us and joining the forum.

    Follow the advice given and stick with it going forwards, don't treat this as a diet.. but it's a lifestyle for better health for the rest of your life.

    Wishing you success and cheering you on ๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰๐ŸŽ‰

  • Hi there OBCE do make sure you check how many calories a day you should be having by checking out the NHS bmi calculator. It tells you on this personal amounts to eat between to be able to lose weight depending on your age, sex and amount of exercise you do. Do make sure you eat somewhere in between these amounts as for years I used to only eat around 1000 calories a day and never lost weight because I wasn't eating enough as advised to lose weight so my body thought I was starving it and turned what I did eat into body fat and this weighs more than eating the extra calories does so you dont lose weight and sometimes end up putting weight on. Good luck with your journey.

  • Thank you. I've been on there and got the correct amount for me. Now I need to get to the supermarket. I love the meals app... sorts your shopping into aisles!

  • Thank you. I've been on there and got the correct amount for me. Now I need to get to the supermarket. I love the meals app... sorts your shopping into aisles!

  • Hi OBCE,

    Have a good whinge and let it all out I say! You've done the hardest thing of all which is to decide things can't stay as they are. Making a start is the most difficult thing of all.

    I started needing to lose quite a bit of weight this time last year and felt very much the way you've described. I just wanted to tell you that you CAN do this! Take things one step at a time and think long term rather than hoping for a quick fix and the pounds do melt away. It isn't easy and you need to be prepared to change your old eating patterns (for instance I had to give up added sugar because I couldn't just have a bit now and again) but it is worth the effort in so many ways. I would say it might be best to have small, manageable goals - say half a stone at first - and give yourself non-food treats along the way.

    Please take a look at the NHS BMI calculator to find your suggested calorie range; it will sound quite generous but believe it - for me the weight came off just as quickly as on previous attempts when I'd pretty much starved myself, but my weight hasn't "stuck" once, and it's stayed off for 7 weeks now which is a major achievement.

    Lots of small positive changes to your lifestyle build up over time to help you become a whole new you. Forgive yourself when things don't go quite to plan; just put it behind you and start again the next day because feeling positive really does help such a lot. To start off with, exercise was a bit of a chore for me, but after a very short while it started to feel easier and more enjoyable so, as soon as you can, experiment to find regular exercise that you enjoy as a hobby so you will keep it going (for me it's dancing and walking).

    We're all here to cheer you on and there isn't a nicer bunch of people anywhere than those in this community; just post if you need a bit of motivation x

  • I can undestand where you are coming from because I felt the same way when I started. I was 18 stone too and have tried diets but never managed to stick to them. This time round I've really looked at my reasons for wanting to lose weight and my relationship with food. I think my change in attitude has really helped as I'm 1 stone 4 pounds lighter and not craving like I though I would, its been very managable.

    Planning meals is a good way to go about it, check out people like the hairy bikers, their diet books are full of delicious easy recipes that cover your food groups but aren't high in calories. Set yourself small goals and cheer yourself on every time you reach one :)

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