Stuck in a rut!

I am once again trying to loose weight. I have zero willpower and I don't know how to get into the right mindset! I am uncomfortable and un healthy and weigh 3 and a half stone more then I want to be and I just don't know what to do!!

I know what I need to do but it's like my mind just takes over and I end up binging. Instead of say a healthy sandwich and fruit and then a chocolate bar as the naughty part, I have to change it all to something like a sausage roll, chocolate bar and packet of crisps and I still don't feel satisfied and could carry on eating rubbish! it seems to be getting worse and dieting/healthy eating lasts a week maximum and even then I cheat! I just don't know what to do!!

11 Replies

  • Anna2014

    I know how your feeling!!!

    Start afresh to tomorrow and chin up....

  • Teaching yourself new healthier habits is never easy and takes a lot of time and focus. I found my low self esteem got in the way before when trying today because i would think negative thoughts about myself and always assumed id fail so why carry on? It took a long time to learn to think differently and put myself first. You can do it!! I find if i make things "forbidden" i almost always used to give in, but this time ive learnt moderation and it really helps. Are you calorie counting? Are you limiting yourself? Sometimes going all in for a diet straight away doesnt help, as we tend to feel worse when we relapse or have a setback. Have you tried making small changes at a time? I.e. swop full fat soda for water or diet soda, increase walking each day, then when that becomes habit, introduce another new habit etc until it becomes easier as once you start to feel better your more likely to be able to take it further.

    I really hope you are able to get into the right mindset as you really seem to want to and it can be done. People here on the forums always happy to support you. Here if you want to chat

    All the best

  • This is a great mindset! My way of thinking too! Great🍓🍓🍓🍓

  • Thank you for your honesty. I think most of us would have been where you are at sometime. It just feels as if we are in a hole with no way out. However, you have the encouragement and support from people here. Just a small change in a positive way can make all the difference. A little bit each day, or even each mealtime.

  • You describe the classic dieter's dilemma:

    —wanting to lose weight badly

    —knowing what to/what not to eat

    —acting against your better judgement.

    —ascribing it to lack of willpower/the wrong mindset.

    In my view and experience, it is all just a matter of habit: your brain is comfortable with your habit and is resisting change (ironically, as a way to protect you).

    It is a matter of coaxing your brain to accept a new way of eating: a more structured way, and stopping at a certain point. It has to realise that a little hunger is not dangerous or life-threatening.

    Luckily the brain is an amazing force and very quickly adapts. It will very quickly adapt to the change if it is enforced for a little while.

    Structure is everything: initially you have to eat strictly according to a schedule, at certain definite times (e.g. breakfast at x am, lunch at y pm, dinner at z pm, with a snack midway between x and y, and midway between y and z). Once you have mastered that, you can work on eating less at each 'eating session'. By then you will be used to having to wait for the next eating session, so even if you get a little hungry, your brain will take comfort in knowing that food will be forthcoming at the next set hour and will be able to cope, not forcing you towards food.

    Initially, it is all about 'time of eating', just to reassure your brain!

    Just my theory, but I have seen it work for myself and others!


    Lots of advice on this site. I think the key to it is planning. Have your healthy options available. Forget the chocolate except as a special treat if you have to. Make your sandwich in the morning and have it ready with your piece of fruit, have some snacks planned into your healthy calorie counted day so you don't get too hungry, make sure your dinner is planned so you don't have to think about what to have.

    Plan a few days ahead and shop to your plan.

    Good luck and try c25k for exercise.

  • Thank you so much for all your help.....feeling stronger and more determined today.

  • Feeling exactly the same right now, so I completely understand. Hoping this time I can do something. If you need someone to talk to you can always message me.

    I'm pretty sure with the support on her we can do it …. so keep smiling and keep going

  • Thank you.......have weighed in this morning and surprisingly lost 3lbs! Thanks to everyone for your confidence boost! Good luck to you all xx

  • Planning is definately the key. I know if I dont plan what Im going to eat in the morning for breakfast, lunch and dinner(6pm)., Dinner suffers and Im tempted to eat more than I should. Im working up to planning a whole weeks menu but I just dont see it as me yet.

  • Hi Anna,

    It's not for everyone, lots of people here are trying the 12 week plan diet.

    I have struggled a lot with keeping to a diet over the years. I was advised by my surgery to look at gradually making changes for life , designed by myself for me to stick to. Changing eating habits and increased exercise.

    It's a slow process, it's taken a year to drop a dress size. I am happy with that because I am hoping by next year I will drop another!

    Believe me I was told this is not a diet!

    One lady said she now buys a bigger box of veg and as she doesn't like wasting food, this working for her. This is a great healthy option life change that suits her.

    It reminded me..... I am not particularly a lover of fruit. (I know I should be)

    So I wrote in my notes..... Buy more fruit, always have it on my shopping list. Always buy more than you think you can eat. Make more fruit salads, eat it as a snack more.

    ..... Fortunately I am financials able to do this so I can make it a life change.

    I did buy fruit before, but sometimes we would be a week or so without any. Now the fruit bowl always has fruit in it.

    It's about making changes over time that suits you.

    Is there anything that you do which you live with as a healthy option?

    Wishing you all the best


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