Fear of what if, It can affect and I am sure does affect all of us at some stages and to various degrees. I lived for several years with frequent Trigeminal Neuralgia pain. I was scared that the surgery would be ineffective, so why bother. After my second or third overdose on opioids, I figured maybe I had nothing to lose, so why not try it. My fear turned out to be very unjustified. If only I had researched more and asked more questions and told myself, that perhaps my fear was a little unjustified. What did I really have to be scared of, my own fear. Nothing more just my own fear.
The same is true for the household 3 wheel scooter. I was never going to need that, that is for disabled people. Not me I am not disabled. When I first met she who must be obeyed, we were housebound for my first visit. Not really to housebound as her Mother came over every afternoon, just to check me out I am sure. I was some stranger who had come halfway around the world and was sleeping in her daughter's bed. Not exactly sleeping, as we were much younger then and parts still worked. But, we actually found that three scooters gave us independence and mobility. If people looked or said anything I did not hear them or pay attention. Today I use it not because I need it but because the seat is more comfortable on my bony bum, and it gets you through airport security much faster.
Again my fears were unjustified. My first wife divorced me and threw me out of the house as soon as she could after she learned I had Relapsing-remitting ms(RRms) What was I going to do.? I was alone, unemployed disabled and scared. Time past I learned about my illness, what could go wrong, lots and lots. What was likely to go wrong, nobody could tell me for sure and what I could do to slow it down, as there is no way yet or back then to stop it. It turns out there are lots and lots that can be done to slow it down. Some indirectly, some head on.
A good diet and some exercise, my aim is not to die of a heart attack, and Disease Modifying Therapy (DMT) does slow it down a little back then. The longer I can stay upright the better is my theory. I do write this from my standing desk which I bought some years ago. Again fears, what am I scared of? Can I thwart that fear? Realise that it maybe just ms talking. It likes to do that, convince me that the dark corner in my room is the only place for me. I have power, not a lot but some power so I made a choice and "YOU" can as well. Choose not to be in that corner. If somebody puts "YOU into a chair and facing a wall, speak up and say something. Yes, I suppose you are a victim, but then so is anybody who does not like redheads. There is no need whatsoever to allow anybody to use your victimhood against "YOU". ms happened, it just happened because always just because. Allowing yourself to become a victim is your choice, and might I say is a rather foolish one.
Take your ms by the horns, wrestle it and throw it to the ground. It will get back up; that is what it does. It still has two horns throw it to the ground again. As I have said before, this is not a two aspirin it's cured condition. This, unfortunately, is until we are buried, and that is a very long way away. So steel yourself, gird your loins we are in this and it is up to us to squash those fears and forge our path ever forward.
Read books, watch movies, listen to music as much as "YOU" possibly can go for the positive. I threw out long ago all my music that was a little darker, every day now I listen to Bob Marley "3 little birds" at least once a day. I attempt to have positivity around me. If I want negative I can just think of my RRms. There is enough negative in that for a lifetime.
Royce
ms does not win until I, "YOU" give up, & we should never give up.
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