Amazing Spouse

Amazing Spouse

Hi! It's Rob. (hi Rob) Yes, I am writing again. I can only handle so much TV. Anyway, Does anyone else have a spouse that is a ROCKSTAR!? (or caretaker) I wanted to say that my wife is absolutely amazing. She is understanding, helpful, kind, considerate. Makes me hold her arm in the parking lot so I don't bite it. Buys me a pill box (eye roll) I could go on and on. But She makes my life not easy because it's not. But bearable and great! She has put up with roughly 12 or so major surgeries, Type one diabetes and now MS. I told her when this diagnosis came down. That she could go. I wouldn't be mad or hurt. I just want better for her. I want someone to take care of her. You know what she did? She smacked me! 20 years ago we saw each other in the car dealer we worked in and fell in love that day. (sniff sniff) But really that is how it happened. Ever since then, I have been blessed by her everyday of my life. 20 years and not only do I love her, I like her.

So I was wondering. Is anyone else blessed like me? I pray you are. Also, Thank GOD those kids look like her!

26 Replies

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  • Beautiful pic! what a wonderful tribute to your lovely wife. You are lucky to have each other. I am blessed with a great husband and 3 sons.

  • Why Thank you! 3 I would go nuts! 2 is just enough!

  • Congratulations...There're so many out here just looking for a fraction of what you have. Its tough for some having this thing called MS, and not having the support and love makes it worst for them. It get so bad that people sometimes want to give up. I can't tell you how many BAD stories I've read and have heard about that I'm soooo happy to hear a POSITIVE and LOVING tribute that you give your wife. Give her a MS hug for me and stay happy.

  • Well Rob, it's lovely to see, true love. What an amazing wife you have. I did what you did and I gave my husband the option to walk away, as he had seen his mum sit in a chair for 25 years, in so much pain, rheumatoid arthritis so it seemed unfair for him to have to go through it again. I am from a long line of farmers and so is my hubby, we met in hay time and he was helping my dad, he lifted me out of the hay loft, nearly 27 years ago. We have 3 children and now 3 grandchildren and he is still here, God bless him. What he has to put up with, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Lol πŸ˜‚. Blessings Jimeka

  • jimeka what a lovely "how we met" story! When he lifted you out of the hay loft, he began to lift you through all the unknowns that were to follow. You are blessed, indeed, but I suspect he feels the same way. Truly a cinematic scene!!

  • Not at the moment, I have just fallen and my ankle is very suspect, but we have got severe high tides at the moment with weather warnings, and my hubby is also the local boatman at the wharf. He does that to keep the farm going, but he is a one man band so he has had to go to work and leave me secure in bed, so until the tide subsides I am waiting to see if my ankle needs attention, such is life, blessings Jimeka

  • cars74, what a great post! As Royjr said, this isn't always so. I have two friends with MS whose spouses walked away not long after they were diagnosed. πŸ˜”

    Like you and jimeka, I am blessed...and I know it!

    Dave and I have been married for 38 years. We raised two sons and have 6 grandchildren. Dave isn't perfect, but neither am I. πŸ˜‰ He tries to understand MS and how it affects me, but...we all know that's hard to do unless you have MS.

    Years ago, during a really bad relapse, Dave told me he didn't care if I never folded another load of laundry or fixed another meal-that what I did or didn't do had no bearing on who I was or why he loved me. I do my best to remember that on those days I really don't like him too much. πŸ’ž

  • Hi Rob. My husband is amazing (an amazing A..H... in his words). When I was first diagnosed, he left his career to join me in my business. My daughter, age 11 at the time, also joined my business. I couldn't have continued without them. People thought we were crazy, but this helped me to stay mentally engaged and to provided our daughter with as normal a life as possible. He became the proverbial soccer dad, driving her to school every day, attending all or her activities, and helping me out in my home office in between. She is 22 now, married and a very successful computer software engineer. Because of MS, she was so lucky (her words) to have both of her parents around all the time. And because of my husband sacrificing for both of us, she and I were able to live normal and full lives.

    A big thank you to my dear husband!

  • cars74 your expressions of love and gratitude for your wife are beautiful!

    I am also very fortunate to have a loving and supportive spouse. He can be silly and funny and makes me laugh often but is also there for counsel when I'm worried and need his serious concern and a logical perspective πŸ’•

  • cars74, your picture made me smile as soon as I saw it. And you are very blessed to have such a caring wife.

    My hubby is a gem, too. He's always putting my needs and wants ahead of his own. Even yesterday, when I was fussing at my computer, he offered to come home from work and take me to the store to get it looked at. He does a lot of the house work, even the things I can do.

    The one 'complaint' I have about him is also one of his best traits. He puts others first, and neglects his own well-being. He's always saying he wants to be here for me. I have to remind him that he must take better care of himself, or he might not be here for me at all.

  • Eleyne92 for some reason this post was lost in my history. So a response to long in coming. Sounds as if our spouses were cut from the exact same cloth! I have to ask her friends to help her because she just keeps over extending herself and will NOT ask for help nor take care of herself. GRRRRRRRR. I worry about her so much. But her giving heart and longing to help everyone and anyone she sees in need is so amazing to watch! But like your husband, in all she does, she just wants to be here for me. She feels guilty when friends ask her out for a girls night. I have to push her out the door. Well we all know how hard we can all push ! HAHAHAHAHAHA Also, I feel like I am her mom because I am setting up the girls night so she gets her stubborn butt out and has her time! She is beautiful, amazing, giving, there are so many words that I could write. but I would forget them! ha! seriously though. I worry so much about her.

    Thanks for the reply!

  • My husband and I have been married for 45 years. He has been my House Husband for 40 of those. He has a type of Muscular Dystrophy and was put on disability 5 years into our marriage. He raised tha kids (one of which is multihandicapped), kept the house clean and did all the cooking (he had never cooked before and was awesome at it) while I went to college and finally ended up as a Nuclear Technician at a Nuclear Power plant. He has been my support all these years and has never let me down.

    After I was put on disability we started sharing the housework. He still does the cooking because I suck at it!

    I might have made it without him but I am glad I didn't have to.

  • Morllyn Wow! you have an amazing Husband! I love your story! Thank you for sharing! He sounds like a guy Id mary. (I crack myself up)

  • πŸ˜†

  • Dear Robh74, what an amazing tribute you give your wife. You were truly blessed when when you found each other. There are a lot of really positive stories of true love and understanding that are directed at spouses and caregivers as amazing as yourss. Unfortunately for others it is not the same. There are different degrees of less than good support. There is story after Story working it out the day or week after the patient was diagnosed with MS. Then there are stories where the spouse is still there but the support is not.

    True love is an amazing and beautiful thing to find and even better when you find that you are married to your best friend! The cold hard reality is that many of us, after years and years of marriage, find we no longer are married to our best friend and that the days stretch sometimes into weeks where we really just don't like each other very much anymore. Add on top of that, the fear of the unknown and the many hard adjustments that many spouse has to make because MS has changed so many things in the relationship.

    Where once, patients suffering from MS, where often the caregivers of the household and the self-sufficient, on top of it all organizer of the household now find themself brought low by MS. The new caregiver in the household is sometime at a loss how to handle everything, has no resources to pull from, and simply lacks the patience and the attitude to do so because they were never put in that role before. All of this leads to care that is given very reluctantly, with an attitude that is sometimes rude, hurried, done with quick jerks that hurt, sometimes, more than they help, and in such a way as to embarass and belittle the MS patients. Then, there are the dozens of times and counting where the caregiver simply lacks the concern and foresight to protect the MS patient. Caregivers expect MS patients to be able to keep up and when they can't they walk off and leave the patient behind and force them to go across conditions like ice covered parking lots because there are in a hurry to get where they're going or parking the car in a rough area or in number 2 gravel and not worrying about the possible bone shattering falls that the MS patient could suffer by being forced to go over such conditions unassisted.πŸ˜¦πŸ€•πŸ˜‘

    I think, in their own inept way sometimes, they are trying hard to step into this role. But their ego keeps getting in the way when you try to explain you can't keep up and you aren't the person you were 5 years ago. I think, they get upset because you're changing and melting in I bad way right before their eyes and they're not ready for the changes that are occurring. And instead of showing upset they show anger to cover up their fears of an uncertain future for their spouse. They want it to be their way or bust and often their way is the old way and you simply cannot accommodate that anymore.

    Then, every once in a while, they surprise you and by responding in a way that melts your heart. In this type of relationship, unfortunately, they usually then find a way to go back and be rude or obnoxious and your heart freezes up again. When I asked my spouse if he was happy not more than two or three weeks ago his comeback was "God had dealt us a tough hand butt we were both in our own way having to deal with it and we could get through it." So I say look for the small positives. The bear you find your self wrapped in on bad days. How if you notice, the way your spouse has slowed his or her gait to accommodate your gait. Or the way at finally after 3 years your spouse is looking back over his or her shoulder to make sure they know exactly where you are and to help you get through rough areas or doorways, etc. Rememberto look at life and relationships especially now that we are fighting off the monster with our glass is half-full not half-empty. The positive attitude is essential in this fight of our life against the monster that has has invaded our lives, MS. But also in the fight to save those relationships that are also battling the disastrous effects MS weighs down upon each and every relationship differently and individually.

  • I pray he slows down, checks back over his shoulder to check on you more, and that you both view the glass half-full together, Fancy1959.

  • Thankyou Tutu. I pray the same thing each and every day. Growing up he never whas showed how to nurture as he had a family of six siblings and both his parents were alcoholics. It was pretty much everybody looking out for themselves and grabbing as much as possible. Nothing much has changed either.......

  • It's good your boys saw your positive outlook and encouragement growing up. We certainly appreciate you sharing that with us Fancy1959. πŸ’•Dawn

  • @Fancy1959 Your story just broke my heart. I am so sorry you suffer in two ways now. I just hope you continue to reach out here. If I could hug your neck and open a door for you I would. Thank you for sharing your story. That must have hurt.

    Love,

    rob

  • Robh74 What a loving tribute and photo! You are receiving what you so generously give of yourself. The expression "what goes around, comes around" applies here: when we show love for others, we receive love; when we practice empathy, we receive; when we bear our burdens with honesty, we show our children a path to follow towards their goals. Well done!

  • I have an amazing husband. I have not been lucky enough to be only married once but my Mojo is my soul mate. I didn't know true unconditional love until God put him in my life. πŸ’—

    Our blended family has 9 children (3 teens to still get out of the nest) and 7 grandchildren (6 girls, 1 poor boy). We are chaotically blessed and I love every second of it!!!

  • My fiance is pretty awesome. It never once occured to him to leave me when all this medical stuff started happening. Sometimes he really doesnt understand certain things but he tries and he loves me. It is great to have a soul mate that loves u unconditionally πŸ’œπŸ’œ

  • Thank you for bringing this up! Many of us have such wonderful spouses or supporters.

    I tell my husband constantly how much I love and appreciate him, but public praise is something we all appreciate. It makes me cringe when I hear hear people complain about their spouses. But I love it when people publicly praise them, especially in their spouse's hearing!

    I never dreamed I would be divorced with five kids. I sure never dreamed I'd meet someone via the internet, marry him, and move halfway across the country to be with him. He's obviously quite a guy! God sure blessed me far beyond my dreams!

  • Yes, I've been married for 44 years to a wonderful man. We've been through a lot together each with our various serious health issues. Fortunately he can help me with things that aren't my strong points and since his are different then mine I can help him with his. We make a great team. I don't know what I'd do without him. And then there are my daughter and grandchildren. They are the light of my life.

    It's so nice to know there are others who are blessed with so much love.

    Thanks for your post.

    Brenda

  • I am starting to feel a little bad about this post. I realize there are so many that do not have an amazing spouse or a support system. There are many of you doing this on your own. I tip my hat to you! You are all amazing! I know I could not. I have a hard enough time with an amazing spouse and family. Also, my wife does NOT walk on water. Close. but she doesn't LOL.

    Have an amazing restful weekend everyone!

  • I do, my husband! I offered divorce also, it wasn't that long ago.

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