Past two days have been difficult

[lavender514]

I lately have been concerned that my girlfriend doesn't exercise much, so I told her it would be good if she could try to exercise. But I didn't convey it properly and she felt quite sad after that, as one of her insecurities was being called fat. I didn't call her fat, just maybe it was misinterpreted. I explained to her what I actually meant but I still worry I did not explain it well enough. I also haven't been able to let go how I didn't bring up this topic properly and I feel things don't feel 'right' and not the way I want it to be. I am blaming myself alot for this 'failure' and I keep repeating this again and again in my head. I feel stuck but I feel I cannot move on unless I 'solve' this but my girlfriend already said it's okay let's move on but I still fear it is not 'resolved' yet. I have OCD so I think it is my OCD keeping me stuck in this loop as this pattern of thinking is very familiar.

Just venting really because I keep imagining how great it would be now if I had known how to bring up issues properly, how nice it would be now. But here I am, I ruined things. I feel like it is all my fault and I am such a lousy human being. I worry I have damaged permanently the relationship and things won't be better again. It's actually quite a trivial issue (?) but I am having alot of difficulties managing it! Just needed a space to share.