so very sad…

[2boys2girls]

After resisting compulsions and feeling a bit better for almost a full week, which is huge accomplishment, OCD has made my son miss his grandmother’s funeral. The fear is that he has some unknown illness that will spread and kill beloved family members. I’m at a loss as to how to help him anymore. I just want my son back. My heart is broken.

[FirstResponder23]

hello,

I’m really sorry to hear how tough OCD is right now. Have you tried looking for a therapist, someone who specializes in OCD? I know for me going to therapy and learning exposure response therapy and more about OCD has really helped me.

OCD with out help can be really confusing and hard. But hearing from someone who specializes in it that there are so many people out there going the almost the exact same fears is very comforting in the beginning. I pray that he is able to find some relief soon.

[deValentin]

It's normal to want to eliminate a threat, or possibility of harm, in one's environment. For instance, I don't want to catch the flu, so I get vaccinated. By eliminating the threat or preventing the harm, you feel safer, and your anxiety goes down.

However, for some people there is no match between the elimination of a threat and the level of anxiety. There are no objective threats and they still feel anxious, which drives them to imagine threats, like in the case of your son. There is also the opposite scenario. Some people don't feel anxious when they should be because there is a real danger (recklessness).

Maybe you could explain to your son that, in order to feel better in the long run, he should seek other ways to reduce his anxiety than avoiding gatherings for fear of contaminating others when there is no reason to be afraid of that. There are many healthy ways to regain peace of mind like listening to music, going for a walk, studying or working, socializing, etc. Of course, it's initially more difficult to learn to get used to a certain degree of uncertainty in life and cope with one's problems in a realistic manner, but it's worth it in the end. It's a matter of choosing the larger, later (LL) reward (making wise decisions) over the smaller, sooner (SS) reward (warding off imaginary threats).

I understand it breaks your heart to see your son in that condition. However, there is nothing you can do beside encouraging him to continue with his OCD treatment and bounce back after a relapse. OCD recovery is often a bumpy road.