how do i deal with this (sexual thoughts)

[Torturedbyocd]

i already made a post about pocd but its not the only thing i have. Sometimes it makes me look at girl’s body and focus on their curves and it makes me feel disgusting. Fortunately the girl was about my age but im so afraid this will happen with a child and i dont want that at all. If i try to ignore it it says “oh so you dont think she’s attractive” and it gets me spiraling

how do i push this away and purify my mind?? I wasnt like this before. Any help is appreciated. I just want to look at people normally

[Dannah]

One way to look at obsessive thoughts is like if someone told you NOT to think of a pink elephant... now that's all you can think about. I don't have experience with POCD, but I do have experience with religious OCD. I've learned that trying to "push away" the thoughts usually only makes them worse.

The best thing for me is to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and remind myself that the thoughts in my head are not me. Because they aren't.

I wish I could give more advice, but I can at least listen and assure you that you are not alone in this struggle. You have already taken the first step towards progress by finding a great support system!

[Torturedbyocd in reply to Dannah]

Thanks for your kind words, unfortunately, its putting me into a bit of delimma, its like it wants me to say the person is attractive when i dont want to be attracted to them. And if i say they dont have an attractive body, im lying, and i dont wanna think things like that because its creepy and not something i enjoy and ocd keeps attacking me on it. Before ocd, i never thought things like this. What do i do?

[Dannah in reply to Torturedbyocd]

I want you to know that having intrusive thoughts doesn’t define you or make you a bad person. The fact that you're so upset by them shows your heart is in the right place. You can admit that someone is attractive without being attracted to them.

Like I said earlier, trying to fight intrusive thoughts only gives ocd more power. Try to take these intrusive thoughts at face value for what they are: just thoughts. They are NOT a reflection of you. You are NOT creepy; you just have an unwanted guest in your mind.

You do not have to answer to ocd or prove or disprove anything.

I'm no therapist, but it might help you to have a list of simple activities to do to redirect your mind (not compulsions). Personally, I like to go on walks or draw whatever is in front of me. These activities make me look at my surroundings and get me out of my head. Can you think of anything that grounds you?

[deValentin in reply to Torturedbyocd]

Can you think that a person is attractive without being sexually attracted to them? I'm a heterosexual male, but I can acknowledge that a certain man is good-looking. I think my deceased mother was an attractive woman without being sexually attracted to her. You can recognize that some children are beautiful without being a pedophile. It's an appreciation on a purely aesthetic level.

It's like finding a second piece of cake tempting, but refusing to yield to the temptation. You just recognize the attractive quality of a certain dish. Of course, unwanted thoughts or desires could pop into your head at the same time, but you can choose not to dwell or act on them. Like Martin Luther said, “You cannot keep birds from flying over your head but you can keep them from building a nest in your hair.”