I thought I would try and stand up to ocd by saying out loud 'I could say this or that horrific (ocd thought) but it wasnt referring to anybody, as I would never want anything like that to happen to anyone . I remember reading to do this in a self- help book also to exaggerate the thoughts which I did. but I just couldnt stop saying it over and over ,
However I wish I hadnt as I now feel more scared, frightened and upset even though at the time I felt I needed to tell the ocd bully that if horrific words and sentences come into my head , they are not what i want. can someone please help or advice as im afraid of it turning into another compulsion and cannot get it out of my head, I feel like I am going crazy,
Written by
Mangomadam
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
This is my personal opinion about saying certain words or sentences out loud to treat OCD, and I'm not a licensed psychologist.
Saying out words has an effect on our attitude, whether we like it or not. For instance, if I meet someone on my path when I go out for a walk, whether I said to him or her "good morning" or "have a bad day" is going to change my attitude towards that person.
Some people advocate to say out loud or write down "bad thoughts" to prove to yourself they have no effect on the external world, or desensitize yourself to them. However, doing it may affect you more than you think. I know that wishes have no power on outer reality, but personally, I could never say out loud or write down I wish harm on someone else as part of therapy. It would disturb me too much, even if I don't have OCD in that domain. That method is justified with the argument that, if a stick is bent too much one way, one needs to bend it the other way, so it ends up straight.
I understand the need for exposure in order to practice response prevention. So, when you're triggered, a "bad thought" or irrational impulse emerges in your mind, you notice it and let it go on its own without dwelling or acting on it, or attempting to neutralize it. You could also describe what you think or feel in that moment, but what's the point of going from one extreme to another, from fearing too much certain thoughts or feelings to losing all inhibitions in a helpless rage or as an ultimate acte of defiance?
I know you didn’t come up with that idea. You found it in a self-help book. It may work for some folks, but it looks like it didn’t for you, and I don't think it suits me either, but each to their own.
I re -read what I wrote and realise I should have described a little different, it was more of a mumbling trying to reassure myself of certain things. I was very distressed when I wrote that. there was 'absolutely no wishing of anything at all , like you I never could wish anyone any harm or write any bad thought down' never have and never will and I would never ever want to. I am feeling even worse now to think that it may have come across like that in my post. It is the reason I havent been to a therapist because the very thought of doing that terrifies me and know that it is some therapists way of doing exposure and to be honest I do not want to become desensitized to horrible thoughts I need to feel horrified by them.
I take a lot on board of your comments as I think you are very knowledgeable about ocd but feel I must emphasise there was no wishing of bad things please believe me with that as I feel very upset, that it came across like that. I have a lot of intrusive thoughts with the type of ocd I have and looking back it was literally a moment where I was ruminating so bad and think it was more a matter of trying to neutralize the thoughts.
I understood you expressed out loud some horrific thoughts just to show that OCD wasn't going to bully or torment you anymore for having them. I reckon that's a legitimate therapeutic practice, but maybe not for everybody, especially people with a tender conscience. Some therapists, not all, go very far, like you say. I even saw one video in which a therapist licks the bottom of his shoes, I guess to show his clients it was safe. Personally, if I try to reasonably face triggers, live in a way that gives me good reasons to have my mind at peace, and content myself with those reasons in spite of the difficulties, I think it's good enough therapy. It's possible that people with more severe forms of OCD need more radical therapy. I don't know.
Anyway, after reading your response, I realized I misunderstood your message. But don't worry too much about it. You may even consider it an exposure. It's possible that, from time to time, people may misunderstand what you say, despite your best efforts, but that's not going to prevent you from living a normal life because you know you're able to move on, with the passing of time. You proved it to yourself many times.
I think what I should have said and meant to say was that , I felt I had to tell the ocd , that as human beings we can say literally anything in our heads , not that I/we would but could if we so choose, the same as we can say anything that is ridiculous or untrue. but even then I couldnt and would not say out loud what my intrusive thoughts have been, so I dont think I can call it exposure really, Im sorry for the misunderstanding, All I want is to be a good person so was really trying to say that if anythtng comes to my mind in an intrusive ways, its really not how I think or want. its the ocd at work. I find it so hard not to get into a thought loop when it happens.
I understand what you mean. You can say anything if you deprive it of meaning. Words to which you don't heartily subscribe don't commit you to anything. It's like crossing your fingers to subtly indicate that a promise you are making is not binding. You could say "Happy New Year" to someone you like and mean it, or the same words as a formality to someone in the office you don't like. It doesn't feel the same.
We don't mean OCD thoughts. They just happen to us. Saying them out loud as you would read, for instance, a list of ingredients on a food label may be a way to prove to yourself they're meaningless and take away their disturbing power. Personally, I prefer not to dwell on irrational thoughts, but it would be interesting if other members of the forum would share their experiences in that regard. Maybe it works.
Yes you are so right, we do not mean any of the ocd thoughts , the ones Ive always had are completely opposite to who I am as a person and I know that , but having had them constantly for so long it sometimes wear me down . You think I would know by now they dont mean anything about me as a person but I am going to try harder not to dwell on them as you do , as trying to work them out has made me feel a lot worse and physically ill, I dont want to end up how I did before I knew what was wrong with me, I had a breakdown through the stress of it .
Anyway thank you for listening , your wise words have helped calm me down
Another way I use to calm down is to tell myself, "yes, it's possible the worst-case scenario may happen, but it's also possible the best-case scenario may happen". Not being able to be open to the more positive possibility means I'm not presently in the right frame of mind to deliberate the issue at stake, so the deliberation stops right now until the time when I can examine all the possibilities fairly.
When I'm in the right frame of mind to examine an issue objectively and overall I do my best to live my life in line with my values, I'm much more optimistic in regard to my worth as a human being, whatever the future holds.
It's great to have more than one strategy to calm down in your toolbox when we feel an OCD crisis approaching .
I agree with much of what you wrote in this thread. I personally would find writing down something such as I will do X even though it goes against my values as something that would reinforce the fear. Scripts can be useful for some people but they need to be done with a skilled and experienced OCD specialist to be beneficial instead of harmful.
ERP sometimes gets a bad rap because some therapists have turned ERP into an episode of the Fear Factor. That’s not what effective OCD looks like. A therapist should not be asking a client to do anything that they themselves wouldn’t do. An ERP exercise is suppose to be custom-fitted to the individual, not the OCD theme. There would be effective ERP exercises that could be applied without resorting to such extreme things. It sounds like unnecessary overkill.
I’m sorry to hear you are going through this tough time. In a positive note, you were doing exactly what you are supposed to do when those OCD thoughts come in. The advise you read is helpful by not fighting with the ocd. The more we struggle to fight ocd, the more it’s going to win every time. Think of it like trying to push a volleyball under water in the pool, it just keeps splashing up. However, if instead you just let the ball float at the top and acknowledge it’s there, it eventually will drift away to the other side of the pool.
The more we try to not think certain thoughts, the more ocd and our brain will have them cycle back around. As hard as it is, try acknowledging the thought when it is present, not giving any emotion to it, but just recognizing it as a thought. Don’t try to reason with it or counter it with other thoughts. It is very hard to do, but eventually doing this over and over, the thought will become less stressful and less present in your mind.
For some people, this is something they can do a few times and the thought gets quieter. For me, I need to hammer it over and over for a good couple of minutes before it starts to get quiet. So don’t get discouraged if you do it once and it comes back. That’s a technique to keep doing over and over again. As awesome as it would be if it was a one and done phrase, it’s not, otherwise it would be ocd.
As for the exaggerating the thoughts, that’s another part of the bossing back and agreeing as well. You can use humor. For me I will say things like “yeah ocd, sure, that will happen, yeah, and I’ll probably be wearing a fancy top hat and monocle too!”
Be careful with telling ocd these thoughts or sentences are not what you want. OCD wants you to have a battle with it and argue with it. Thats how it gets you to continue ruminating. By letting the ocd say what it wants and agreeing with it, it will at first be uncomfortable, but eventually your mind will see that ocd is just recycling thoughts, and you will become calmer and not as alarmed when it pops in.
I know this is all so much easier said than done. Trust me. I can tell you all that advise, and yet I am currently still working on a louder episode of ocd that I’m having because I don’t always hammer it when it comes in and I let it stew and make me feel sad. It’s tough. But I e done this so many times in the past that I know when I commit to being consistent and not giving into the fear and emotion, it becomes way quieter. It’s exhausting, it’s tough work, but it does work. Stay strong and stay focused. You can accomplish it!
Thank you , thank you so much for taking the time to reply to me, Ive been so down / depressed over this episode, but with such kind words and support from forum users including yourself. I feel ready to make some chamges with how I deal with this,
I 100% know how you’re feeling. I was in the same position as you just a few days ago. The feeling down and depressed is hard. I was a mess, but eventually I just said enough is enough. I was tired of letting ocd control me and how I felt.
I agree, engaging with and giving meaning to intrusive thoughts gives them life. Using logic on them or trying to solve them doesn’t work either because there will always be another “what if”. Some things we tell ourselves can turn into excessive self-reassurance when they’re used to negate the distress from obsessions. Excessive self-reassurance is a compulsion that feeds the OCD. It takes a lot of practice to accept a thought as just a thought sometimes, not attaching meaning or judgment to it or ourselves. It’s a skill that helps us to build resilience. Thankfully, acceptance doesn’t have to mean approval.
To accept the thoughts without attaching meaning to them or judging them or yourself for having them. OCD is a scam artist that is trying to sell you a con by exploiting your feelings and instilling a sense of urgency just like the scammers that try to hook us through scams in the paper mail, email , texts, etc.
I think that everything you're saying is very true. However, I'd like to make one comment about this paragraph: "As for the exaggerating the thoughts, that’s another part of the bossing back and agreeing as well. You can use humor. For me I will say things like “yeah ocd, sure, that will happen, yeah, and I’ll probably be wearing a fancy top hat and monocle too!”".
If, for instance, you have blasphemous intrusive thoughts, and because of it you're terrified of going to hell, as a treatment it's indeed possible to make light of it, as you suggest: "Okay, I'll go to hell, but I wonder whether they have fancy restaurants there, etc." A form of dedramatization. It works because OCD is doing the opposite: it dramatizes things.
However, can humor be used in all cases? Have you heard of the game “Cards Against Humanity”? It’s a game that uses, among other things, child abuse for humor. It’s not for everybody. Some people say that they don’t want to become desensitized to horrible thoughts, they need to feel horrified by them. It’s why reading over and over a script filled with shocking thoughts may not be an effective form of treatment for people suffering from scrupulosity OCD. It often makes them feel worse. It's probably why Natureloverpeace talks about ERP exercises being custom-fitted to the individual. It’s a matter of knowing to which matters desensitize oneself and to which ones stay sensitized.
I agree 100% that each person needs to find a treatment. That is fitted to them and works for them. Even for me I need to be refreshed by my therapist on what to write down or say in order to make sure I’m doing the exposure correctly and not giving myself reassurance.
Scripts can be helpful for some people when they’re done appropriately. They can be used on any OCD theme since OCD is OCD. Ideally, they should be designed by an OCD Specialist and client together. A person with OCD could cause more harm than good by designing them themselves since they don’t have the expertise to treat OCD so they wouldn’t necessarily know what makes an effective script. Scripts don’t desensitize a person to the awfulness of something awful. For instance, molesting someone is still awful, a script doesn’t try to change that.
I guess what you mean is that, after reading a script about molesting someone, you’d still find the act awful, but not the thought popping in your mind provided you don't dwell or act on it.
That’s not what I meant. Scripts aren’t written with the expectation that a person entertains a worst case scenario that they’re a monster who is going to commit a horrendous act that goes against their values. Obsessions can already do that and we don’t want to reinforce the obsessions and strengthen the OCD.
I understand that. What I meant is reading a script isn't supposed to desensitize you to the act or outcome mentioned in the script (you stay normally sensitized to the act or outcome in question), but to the fact that it could happen and awful thoughts could pop into your head.
Awful thoughts can pop into anyone’s head, whether they have OCD or not. Scripts don’t necessarily need to be written to include a worst case scenario possibly happening. There is an OCD specialist who has said that if she had been told that she had to accept the possibility that she was a pedophile that she wouldn’t have done OCD treatment. Accepting that would have gone against her core values. While there isn’t absolute certainty that she wouldn’t do something inappropriate she knows herself well enough to believe that she wouldn’t do that and that is more than good enough.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
How cruel people can,be about ocd
How can I educate myself on OCD & overcoming it without it becoming a compulsion?
First time here, could you help me, please???
Struggling with OCD and Anxiety, I am new here
