Why do I feel like I need to have an intrussive thought?

[Grimes1904]

Hi! Me asking again about intrussive thoughts... Sometimes it feels like I need to have the thought to please my mind, is this normal? (In an OCD way). I dont know how to explain this... Thoughts are distressing and literally ruin my mind. The content of the thought is not enjoyable for me, they are disturbing and not pleasant. But my question comes from the times the I think to myself "Okay, let's supress the thought, let's distract ourself" but that does not work... I always end up having the thought. While I'm trying to supress it and think about other things I feel some kind of stress! It's like my mind wants the thought to pop up, even if the content literally ruins my fucking life. I dont get it! Am I horrible or do thoughts work like that? I dont get the stress I get from supressing the thought! Its like my mind prefers to have it.

Again, I dont know if thoughts work like that and thats the reason thought supression doesn't work. Or I'm just horrible. Sometimes I just let myself have the thought because of that tension, and I feel shitty as soon as I have it, obviously, but if I dont have it I can't... I can't just distract myself and avoid it. And again, the content of the thought itself is disturbing! But I'm so confused. Why does it feel like I need to have the thought to reduce some kind of tension? When the thought itself makes me want to end myself.

[nkotbjoeymc]

Yes, Intrusive Thought’s are very distressing.

[God-is-love3]

some of those intrusive thoughts are just our sin nature that everyone has since we are sinners and some are from the enemy, the devil, to try to make us stumble. But that is why Jesus died for us to take the power away from sin and death and the devil. If we continue to pray and ask for his strength and power and look to him in all things, then we will be able to put up the shield of faith against such evil thoughts.

It doesn’t mean that they will go away completely but you will be able to better manage them and remember that even if we have an evil thought, that is not who we are because “there is now therefore No condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” He protects us by his holy name and will not let us go. He will always have your back. We just need to remember him and trust him daily.

Remember the fruits of the HOLY spirit too:

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Continue to do your best to look past the dark clouds in our lives and look to things of the spirit. Overcome the darkness with Gods light inside you.

[Phoenyx]

Hi. I know exactly what you mean. It’s almost like you are looking to have them. It feels like something is missing when you don’t have one. It’s like a sick mind game. But the less intrusive thoughts you have, the less your brain seeks for them.

[SirUthal]

Your brain is looking for a threat, and if you are used to having intrusive thoughts, not having them makes your brain think something is wrong.

[Tysi]

What if you stopped resisting the thoughts and made them your friend? I know! Crazy! But when you stop trying to resist, and practice observing them, especially feel the body, you will find that the intrusive thoughts start to soften. Think of your intrusive thoughts, no matter the nature of them, as children having a tantrum. I understand the content of the thoughts may be disturbing. But the thoughts are not fact and the thoughts are not you....even if you think it's you, it isn't. When you respond in compassion, you will notice a change. You will notice there is tension in the body below your head. Anchor the mind on where it hurts in the body and feel as much compassion for it as you can. Hold it there and watch it change when you gift it with your presence.

[MonikaAlicia]

Hi! Just purely biologically, neural pathways are created like treaded paths in a forest. If a thought is reoccuring and produces emotions, positive or negative, the pathway becomes stronger and is more easily accessed over time. If it becomes overgrown because it loses relevance (for whatever reason), it is harder to access it. This is how people unlearn things, like the second language they were taught in school and spoke quite well then.

Like someone said above, the less the thoughts occur, the less likely they are to appear. I know this doesn't help, because getting to the point of them occuring less seems out of reach, but it will happen at some point and then gradually get easier.

Distraction and suppression is a fine distinction, because forcefully distracting yourself leads to "don't think of a pink elephant". You can't help but come back to what you are trying to avoid, because you are actively avoiding it and that doesn't work for thoughts. But if in a situation of intrusive thinking you are suddenly confronted with a number of completely unrelated stimuli, like imagine you are walking outside, tormented by your thoughts, but suddenly register a car on its way to hit you, you will be very effectively distracted and the thought will disappear automatically. Problem is, you can usually not create such actual pressing problems to effectively distract you, and you wouldn't want to be so stressed all the time.

Maybe try what was said above; letting it wash over you and move on, as hard as it sounds