OCD...

[SCC1]

I hate this fucking BEAST!! Thats it.

[Inkohblack]

I’ve been turning my beast into a marble but it takes a minute of visualization for me. Then it’s more contained in my head. Sounds weird right? It doesn’t get to be big if I don’t want it to! (Doesn’t always work but maybe worth a go) or a pebble

[SCC1 in reply to Inkohblack]

Thank you Inkohblack, for your reply. I don't think it's weird to turn your beast into a marble. It's however we think of OCD that is important to help us deal with it better. I'm glad that helps you! 🙂

[80_Zil_ian]

I understand you. I hated it for many years and couldn’t accept why I was chosen to have this… But with time (years) and medical treatment (sertraline), I started to learn to control or even accept it sometimes. I don’t know what symptoms you have, but I have had obsessive thoughts for more than 14 years, and none of them have become reality in all this time. So, I’m very convinced that these thoughts are not me or my life; they must be ignored and sometimes even make you laugh.

[SCC1 in reply to 80_Zil_ian]

I also have obsessive thoughts, but mostly harm ones. They are about people, animals, anything that can trigger a thought of harm coming to them or me. I have to do compulsions even if they're small ones that nobody else notices. Sometimes it's hard on my mind when it gets really bad. I also have other symptoms of OCD, but the harm ones are the worst and often.When I got diagnosed at 15, my then psychiatrist said something like "nothing has happened because of your thoughts." I told her, that's because I do compulsions, which I really believed and still do. I don't know that the the thoughts are irrational or that my compulsions are not necessary and that I just feel I have to do them. It's because I actually believe if I don't, something will happen.

I've mentioned here before that I have another severe mental illness, and it plays with the OCD and makes it 100 times worse to deal with.

Thank you for responding to me.

[80_Zil_ian in reply to SCC1]

I understand and empathize with you. I spent a long time with similar thoughts, about violence and also thoughts about blasphemy. As a God and Christ believer, it was terrible not understanding what was happening to me, creating elaborate stories about the consequences I would suffer if some of these thoughts materialized. 100 milligrams of Sertraline per day helped me a lot during my worst crisis in 2010. It improved so much that after a while, I weaned off the medication and spent years without symptoms.

I believe that, in addition to that, the way forward is to start accepting the thoughts without repressing or retaliating against them. The more I tried to deny the thoughts, the more I was feeding them.

I had a new crisis at the beginning of this year, kind of a different triggered by a real stressful situation that generate some symptoms of paranoia. I am medicating again and have already improved.

The advice I can give you is not to judge yourself so harshly and not to feel that these thoughts define you; they are just a chemical brain activity that does not govern your actions. Today, I can safely say that thoughts that would have put me in bed or hidden in 2010 sometimes make me laugh today, as I classify them as something surreal and meaningless.

[SCC1 in reply to 80_Zil_ian]

"They are just a chemical brain activity"- thank you, I'll have to remember that. It is not my fault for having these thoughts, but I don't know what to do about the compulsions. They seem like they really need to be done even if I think OCD thoughts aren't my fault. Any suggestions? Thanks!

[80_Zil_ian in reply to SCC1]

I believe the best way to tackle the compulsions is therapy, but the compulsions are a result of the thoughts. I never developed severe compulsions, just some mild ones (like touching the wall when my thought was about biting the wall) that disappeared when the thoughts started to get better.

Reading books by specialized doctors helped me too (there was not much material in the internet 14 years ago). However, I can’t recommend them because they are Brazilian books, which I believe are not available in other markets. That said, I believe studies in other countries might be even more detailed than here and eventually the books should be even better.

[SCC1 in reply to 80_Zil_ian]

Thank you, I appreciate your suggestions!

[Lauragbr]

When OCD gets overwhelmingly I try to make sure I make time to rest. I still try to try to engage with people, but I do pull back from socializing and take naps daily.

[SCC1 in reply to Lauragbr]

Thank you, Lauragbr. Maybe I should take time away from triggering things, too. A lot of my OCD is caused by stimuli around me-people, noises, anything going on that I can see or hear. When the OCD is triggered, then the thoughts/compulsions take off and don't stop until they have "had their fill". Then, another round comes or they mix and I have 1 episode that goes into the next, and so on.

I was thinking lately about getting some noise cancelling "things" (not sure what they are) to keep all the stimuli from affecting me. It does seem to help a little when Im by myself, but that can be hard, too, because I still have the thoughts- although they are calmer.

Thank you!

[Lauragbr in reply to SCC1]

I think noise cancellation headphones may help you. I think you said you recently started medication but I don’t remember you saying you have an OCD therapist. I’ve had OCD since I’m 15 and I’m almost 70 now. It took decades before I got the help I needed. Mostly because when I was a teenager no one knew anything about OCD back then. Now we understand it so much better!! There is a wealth of information and there is help. I hope you find a good therapist. Recovery usually takes medication as well as ERP therapy. We are all here to help each other.

[SCC1 in reply to Lauragbr]

Thank you! I am seeing a therapist, but not an OCD one specifically. I am still on the same medication, I just switched the time of day I take it. It helps more than before, but Im still having trouble. I will look into those headphones-I have to have my mind take a break.

[SCC1 in reply to Lauragbr]

Would those "things" be noise cancelling headphones if you know?

[Lauragbr in reply to SCC1]

Yes. I’m sure you can find them on Amazon