Another OCD crisis

[Precious2023]

I entered a bus after work a week ago and wanted to seat, so I noticed something like a small paper with white and red colour on the seat, so I didn't seat on it because of that but one of my colleagues sat on the seat,then the OCD kicked in, asking me to really check what exactly it is and blaming me why I didn't seat on the seat in the first place.

Then different thoughts about what the stuff could cause to my colleague as a result of her sitting on the stuff started coming, e.g the stuff can enter her bum and prevent her from having a child(scary) or make her Tommy big with pregnancy etc

It's being a week now, and the doubt has not gone away....I am beginning to get stressed mentally because of the thoughts.

What should I do? I need help.

[Precious2023]

I feel really awful 😖 and distressed right now, overwhelm with the false guilt, doubt of what actually the stuff was and the torment from the uncertainty of what might happen.

I feel the whole thing should be rewinded back for me to check that seat again that my colleague sat on to really be sure of what it is.

I needed the temporary relief so I yielded to the compulsion of me checking on my colleague several times and warned her stylishly to always check where she put her bum, and also check the seat of the particular bus for 3 consecutive time but the seats are clean. But the doubt became stronger and draining

After that day, I consciousness check seats in any bus for whatever to be sure what exactly it is.

I need serious help guys. I began the therapy last year but because I missed my appointment twice, they stopped my session.

I just felt this (OCD) or any other sickness should not be happening to me because I know I value lives and would not harm anyone.

Also, I don't want o die young, there is so much expectation from me by my parents, brother and husband. I was a promising child, doing valiantly well before. They believe in me career wise and academically but this OCD is threatening my life, cutting short my joy and focus.

With OCD, I feel the whole world is coming to an end, without OCD, life is sweeter and meaningful. I am just tired 😫, I wish I never had this disease 😪

I am sorry for the long text....I feel I should type on and on......

[dutchgirl71]

I hate it when this happens! So, according to ERP therapy, we are supposed to just sit with the anxiety and try not to interact with the thought. Easier said then done..I know. I have contamination OCD, and the contamination seems to “spread”. I wish there was an easier way around this…but there is not. You have to push forward head on and choose freedom instead of being bound in chains. We deserve peace of mind and happiness. Now I’m going to take the dog for a walk and try not to check him all over (for contamination) when I get back. We got this!!

[Precious2023 in reply to dutchgirl71]

I am finding the ERP to be very difficult. Whenever I have any OCD episode, it feels that I was going going to die because of the intense anxiety 🙃.

I would not know when I would just do the compulsion for peace of mind 😌.

I know it's not the solution 😕 but I can't help it sometimes.

I pray to God for miraculous healing for me and others here as soon as possible.

[deValentin]

Something in a bus triggered some unwanted intrusive thoughts in your mind. Now you're beset by those thoughts and don't know how to get rid of them. Some people would say, "stop imagining all kinds of scenarios, and just consider what your senses and common sense are telling you ". However, when you feel anxious, it's difficult not to imagine the worst possible scenarios as a means to prevent them.

Based on my personal experience, the best way to deal with the problem is to find ways to reduce your anxiety. You can engage in compulsions and ruminations and count on the elimination of all doubts and worries to return to normal life. This way may provide some initial relief, but it's endless because doubts and worries are always possible.

Or you can stop wondering, checking, regretting, etc., when it's reasonable to do so. This a more difficult path, but with the passing of time, it'll bring you sustainable peace of mind.

It's, in some regard, like drinking. If you go to a party, you can decide to stop drinking when all desires for another drink disappear. This may not happen until you're completely drunk, which is not safe and healthy. Or you can decide to stop drinking when it's reasonable to do so. This option requires some self-control, but you'll have no regrets afterwards.