Contamination

I have had contamination issues since I was a child. It used to be fear of germs from petting an animal or more simple things. Even in elementary school, I would wipe my hands off with isopropyl alcohol after petting my own dog. My main contamination has been blood, or fear of something being blood. It seems like I often come across things that I think are contaminated with blood. For example, the other day there were a few packages from the pharmacy that had a red-orange line on them. To me, it looked like the same color as blood. I have tried to tell myself that blood probably wouldn't be in a straight line like that. I still can't rationalize it, as I know that's part of having OCD. I emptied the bag out wearing gloves. I always wear gloves to get the mail, because I am afraid of it having something on it. Now I have had anxiety the last few days over this, because a document that I needed to fill out, came with that delivery. I am planning on putting on gloves and filling it out and sending it. I don't want to even do that. I also feel like my mail box in contaminated now. OCD makes life very hard. I often wonder why I had to get this crazy condition. It does feel isolating when people around you don't understand and get annoyed with it. I try to hide it as much as possible so I don't bother my family.

[My_fears]

Hi honey-bee77 I have gone through the same fears in relation to blood and fear of catching diseases from blood not wanting contact with people who have Hep C etc. When I was 15 I started fearing germs, washed my hands until they bled, have gone through many different types of OCD now my fear is being exposed radiation dust the fear feels so real and I hate it so much. I've struggled for 40 years and have to admit I have had some successes but many failures because I didn't have the courage to stick it out and fight the anxiety using strategies such as response prevention etc. What I have found over the years is that if you don't tackle the fear it will seek out others things and before you know it you have more things to contend with and increased anxiety. I know how you feel I try to fight, but sometimes the anxiety can last for days even weeks and it doesn't get any better so I give up. I have made the mistake of falling for the trap of doing research, seeking assurance etc in the hope I can rationalise my way out of the fear but it never works just tends to reinforce it, OCD is very good at making you doubt everything. Do your very best to fight this thing because its made my life miserable and also impacted on my relationships, family and willingness to live life to be honest. Get some help go see a therapist don't let the bastard win.